Yep - the rotavirus has settled into our home. Devlin was a little under the weather last week. A bit pukey and a touch of fever. But he was back to normal within 12 hours. Didn't think much of it. Then Daddy was under the weather for 12 hours. Again, shrugged it off.
Until 4am early Thursday morning. Aisling was vomiting. At first, I thought maybe she had too many chips the night while watching Team Canada battle Russia on the hockey rink. But after changing the sheets and the pyjamas, she threw up again. Another changing of the sheets and pjs, including mommy's, settle into bed again. And then the tummy erupted again. And again, and again. Every 15 minutes. We went through lots of shirts, sheets and towels. The washing machine was in constant use. Poor Aisling was exhausted. Her head would drop back into the vomit as she had no strength to roll over. A trip to the doctor indicated rotavirus. No milk, just clear fluids, toast, bananas, apples and rice. None of which Aisling wanted.
Late Thursday night, the vomiting stopped. Only to be replaced by explosive diarrhea. Another concern was dehydration. Halfway through Friday, Aisling started whimpering in pain. Bloated tummy full of gas. No amount of tummy rubbing would help. Another trip to doctor. Another explosion of poop all over the doc's examination table. Another warning about watching for the signs of dehydration. The doctor provided us with her pager number in case we needed to head to the hospital. Back home, Aisling fell into an exhausted sleep. She cried for milk, and used her remaining strength to toss away the bottles the gatorade and pedialyte. Rice porridge was met with disdain. Banana got one tiny nibble. She settled for one half of a Baby Mum Mum and some water.
Saturday she finally started to show some spark. Toast was accepted. Rice was gobbled up. She settled herself into either Daddy's lap or Mommy's arms and didn't want to be moved. Her face looked tiny - evidence of past few days' events. There was finally a wet diaper. Still, her lack of energy was worrisome.
It's now day 4. Devlin and Ceilidh are fed up with the extra attention Aisling has been getting. They're becoming more rambunctious by the second. Although she looked perkier this morning, Aisling is fading fast. She's had two long naps, nibbled on tiny tiny bites of pancake and a sip of soup. One cup of milk (since she hadn't had diarrhea in 24 hours) resulted in disaster. Yep - more loose stools, and more stained laundry. At least, she can tell us when she's pooped. So, again she's been cut off from milk, and again, she's spending almost every waking moment in someone's arms.
Friday, February 26, 2010
R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
In watching the Olympics and reading about the athletes, I'm always struck by similar descriptions of these hard-working athletes. That is, they're often driven by an inner strength, are super-committed to their sport, are every respectful of their fellow athletes and coaches and above all else, the glowing praise they have for their parents. These athletes are often described as polite, insightful, and well-spoken. And here's lies the conundrum for all of us parents - how do we raise our children to be similarly poised when our children are average kids? How do we raise our off-spring to be respectful of others, especially their teachers and parents? How do we instill in our children the drive to succeed without becoming cocky? How do we get our kids to understand and appreciate the hard work the older generations have put in so they may enjoy the gifts they now have?
Obviously we live in a different generation from what we grew up in. We are quite removed the first generation of immigrants who landed in this new, foreign country and toiled night and day to make a better lives for their children. We are far removed from the generation of young men and women who marched off to war to fight for freedom and to preserve the country and world as we now know it. And we have become a generation that frowns upon corporal punishment, both at home and in the classroom. We parent in styles that are vastly different from our parents' generation. Gone are the days when children were seen but not heard. Kids are now center-stage, with their interests and activities taking priority. Dads are more involved, with some dads taking parental leave. Moms are in the workplace, with some moms bringing more bacon than the dads. Single parent families are more common. Gone is the disciplinarian/totalitarian parent, but "being the kids' best friend" parenting style hasn't worked out so well. Lax parenting results in a visit from Jo, the Supernanny.
A colleague and I were discussing what is being termed as the "millenium" effect. Many parents are trying to appear "cool" to their children, and are afraid to show some backbone with their kids. Children push the boundaries (as they will always do), and each time the parent gives up even more control. There's no discipline in the classrooms. Schools, understandably feel that would be an issue for parents. But if kids rule the roost at home, what makes us think they will behave any better at school? If the importance of limits and good behaviour isn't stressed at home, then what makes us believe children will act any differently when they are out of our sight? What results from timid parents who don't set limits, who threaten to punish their children when rules are broken, but ultimately don't follow through? A generation of youngsters who sass their teachers and refuse to conform to class room rules. Kids who don't take pride in their marks. Kids who aren't afraid of authority because the worst that can happen is a suspension from school. Teachers who are tired of dealing with unruly students who hold no respect for authority figure. My sister, who is a high school teacher, made the observation that when confronted about their offspring's behaviour, the parents will jump to their child's defence and place the blame on the teacher for not doing their job. Whose job is it to raise these kids?
Of course, there's also the parenting style known as helicopters. Parents who over-coddle their children so that the kids are unable to relate to the real world. These are the parents who hover on the playground, watching every move with an eagle eye, while wiping every surface with a lysol wipe before their precious child touches it. The parent who zealously inspects every morsel of food that goes past their child's lips. The parents who don't provide their children opportunities to fall, learn from their mistakes, to gain independence. Sometimes, helicopter parents will even go so far as to accompany their child to the university campus, meet the professors and remind the dorm supervisor of their child's various ailments and peculiarities. These are the offspring whose parents have always praised them, never shouted or reprimanded. Their parents have coached them through every step and helped with every homework assignment. They've never held a part-time job or pitched in around the house with everyday chores.
What many employers are now seeing is a generation of twenty-somethings entering the workforce who are poorly equipped to deal with real life. These young folks are not merely reluctant to work from the bottom up. In fact, they're often demanding the corner office! When given difficult or unusual tasks, they choose to quit instead of rising to the challenge. There is a generation of young folks walking around with a sense of entitlement. There's also a growing percentage of young adults with a steady income happily living with their parents. Rather than working for your rewards, they're expecting the world to fall into their laps.
Okay, so how do we parents avoid raising wimpy child or an unruly delinquent? How can we become parents of the shining citizens we're seeing with medals adorned around their neck, without actually having to raise an Olympian. Because let's face it, some of our kids may not be athletically gifted. How do we balance the parent that our children are not afraid to approach with their concerns and joys, but are also not pushovers that walked on by their kids? How do we command respect without being overbearing? How do we end up with well-adjusted, well-mannered, hard-working, earnest, respectful offspring?
Isn't that the sixty-four million dollar question?
I guess we keep trying what we're going now. We try to set good examples by also displaying respect to our partners (with the occasional yelling at the spouse). We try to engage our children in conversation every day. We teach our children to respect our environment by recycling and not littering. We teach our children the importance if health by providing nutritious and well-balanced meals most of the time. (Whether or not they eat it is another topic.) We try not to yell but we try to instill some fear in them. After all, without some fear, children will indeed ignore all the boundaries. Fear is not a bad thing. They should be fearful of running across the road. They should be fearful of red burners on the stovetop, of the skull and bones symbol, of the strangers they don't recognize. We let them fall sometimes so they know they'll survive the scraped knee or elbow. We let them fall sometimes so they also understand why we've told them not to climb that unsteady structure.
We guide them through various activities. We teach them to play games. We help with homework because we all want our kid to be the best. But we also don't do their homework because it's important for the child to actually learn the concepts. I've already learned my A-B-C's. We don't let them win every game of Go Fish because they need to experience the sensation of losing. We cheer when the soccer team scores a goal because we need to teach good sportsmanship. Sometimes we have to spank our children so they understand the consequences of their actions. Sometimes the naughty stool time-outs are not enough to send the message. We make our children apologize when their actions hurt another, be it physically or emotionally. At the end of the day, we're there to hug our children and comfort them when it's needed. Above all else, no matter how many times they've been disciplined that day, or praised for their actions, we want our children to know they're loved and they're not alone in this crazy business of life.
And as our precious offspring slumber, we review the day in our minds and wonder if we've done the right thing. Was there a better way to impart a particular lesson? Should I have been so rough on them for spilling the milk everywhere and then hitting their sibling? Did I praise his efforts at printing? Did I cheer too loudly when he scored that goal? Should I have forced her to eat that last piece of broccoli? Did we allow too many treats tonight? Will we have "good" kids? Am I a "good" parent?
Parenthood - the hardest job we'll ever have.
Obviously we live in a different generation from what we grew up in. We are quite removed the first generation of immigrants who landed in this new, foreign country and toiled night and day to make a better lives for their children. We are far removed from the generation of young men and women who marched off to war to fight for freedom and to preserve the country and world as we now know it. And we have become a generation that frowns upon corporal punishment, both at home and in the classroom. We parent in styles that are vastly different from our parents' generation. Gone are the days when children were seen but not heard. Kids are now center-stage, with their interests and activities taking priority. Dads are more involved, with some dads taking parental leave. Moms are in the workplace, with some moms bringing more bacon than the dads. Single parent families are more common. Gone is the disciplinarian/totalitarian parent, but "being the kids' best friend" parenting style hasn't worked out so well. Lax parenting results in a visit from Jo, the Supernanny.
A colleague and I were discussing what is being termed as the "millenium" effect. Many parents are trying to appear "cool" to their children, and are afraid to show some backbone with their kids. Children push the boundaries (as they will always do), and each time the parent gives up even more control. There's no discipline in the classrooms. Schools, understandably feel that would be an issue for parents. But if kids rule the roost at home, what makes us think they will behave any better at school? If the importance of limits and good behaviour isn't stressed at home, then what makes us believe children will act any differently when they are out of our sight? What results from timid parents who don't set limits, who threaten to punish their children when rules are broken, but ultimately don't follow through? A generation of youngsters who sass their teachers and refuse to conform to class room rules. Kids who don't take pride in their marks. Kids who aren't afraid of authority because the worst that can happen is a suspension from school. Teachers who are tired of dealing with unruly students who hold no respect for authority figure. My sister, who is a high school teacher, made the observation that when confronted about their offspring's behaviour, the parents will jump to their child's defence and place the blame on the teacher for not doing their job. Whose job is it to raise these kids?
Of course, there's also the parenting style known as helicopters. Parents who over-coddle their children so that the kids are unable to relate to the real world. These are the parents who hover on the playground, watching every move with an eagle eye, while wiping every surface with a lysol wipe before their precious child touches it. The parent who zealously inspects every morsel of food that goes past their child's lips. The parents who don't provide their children opportunities to fall, learn from their mistakes, to gain independence. Sometimes, helicopter parents will even go so far as to accompany their child to the university campus, meet the professors and remind the dorm supervisor of their child's various ailments and peculiarities. These are the offspring whose parents have always praised them, never shouted or reprimanded. Their parents have coached them through every step and helped with every homework assignment. They've never held a part-time job or pitched in around the house with everyday chores.
What many employers are now seeing is a generation of twenty-somethings entering the workforce who are poorly equipped to deal with real life. These young folks are not merely reluctant to work from the bottom up. In fact, they're often demanding the corner office! When given difficult or unusual tasks, they choose to quit instead of rising to the challenge. There is a generation of young folks walking around with a sense of entitlement. There's also a growing percentage of young adults with a steady income happily living with their parents. Rather than working for your rewards, they're expecting the world to fall into their laps.
Okay, so how do we parents avoid raising wimpy child or an unruly delinquent? How can we become parents of the shining citizens we're seeing with medals adorned around their neck, without actually having to raise an Olympian. Because let's face it, some of our kids may not be athletically gifted. How do we balance the parent that our children are not afraid to approach with their concerns and joys, but are also not pushovers that walked on by their kids? How do we command respect without being overbearing? How do we end up with well-adjusted, well-mannered, hard-working, earnest, respectful offspring?
Isn't that the sixty-four million dollar question?
I guess we keep trying what we're going now. We try to set good examples by also displaying respect to our partners (with the occasional yelling at the spouse). We try to engage our children in conversation every day. We teach our children to respect our environment by recycling and not littering. We teach our children the importance if health by providing nutritious and well-balanced meals most of the time. (Whether or not they eat it is another topic.) We try not to yell but we try to instill some fear in them. After all, without some fear, children will indeed ignore all the boundaries. Fear is not a bad thing. They should be fearful of running across the road. They should be fearful of red burners on the stovetop, of the skull and bones symbol, of the strangers they don't recognize. We let them fall sometimes so they know they'll survive the scraped knee or elbow. We let them fall sometimes so they also understand why we've told them not to climb that unsteady structure.
We guide them through various activities. We teach them to play games. We help with homework because we all want our kid to be the best. But we also don't do their homework because it's important for the child to actually learn the concepts. I've already learned my A-B-C's. We don't let them win every game of Go Fish because they need to experience the sensation of losing. We cheer when the soccer team scores a goal because we need to teach good sportsmanship. Sometimes we have to spank our children so they understand the consequences of their actions. Sometimes the naughty stool time-outs are not enough to send the message. We make our children apologize when their actions hurt another, be it physically or emotionally. At the end of the day, we're there to hug our children and comfort them when it's needed. Above all else, no matter how many times they've been disciplined that day, or praised for their actions, we want our children to know they're loved and they're not alone in this crazy business of life.
And as our precious offspring slumber, we review the day in our minds and wonder if we've done the right thing. Was there a better way to impart a particular lesson? Should I have been so rough on them for spilling the milk everywhere and then hitting their sibling? Did I praise his efforts at printing? Did I cheer too loudly when he scored that goal? Should I have forced her to eat that last piece of broccoli? Did we allow too many treats tonight? Will we have "good" kids? Am I a "good" parent?
Parenthood - the hardest job we'll ever have.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Report Cards!
Maybe I'm old school, but I can't understand the report cards the schools are sending home. What ever happened to "satisfactory", "not satisfactory", and "needs improvement"? Or the simple letter scale - A, B, C, D, and the dreaded F? Where's the old stand-by comment "Little Johnny is a pleasure to have in the class"? It appears the policy makers and child psychologists have brain stormed to devise a report card that leaves parents wondering if they should buy a special decoder, or worse yet, go back to school themselves to understand the comments.
Under Personal and Social Development, there's a sub-section labelled "displays an awareness of surroundings" and another entitled "understands the unique differences among individuals, families, schools, and the neighbourhood". Apparently my child "often demonstrates" such awareness. The highest level is "consistently demonstrates". Then there's "additional time and experience needed" and "sometimes demonstrates". Can't tell if there's an actual difference between "sometime" and "often". Also, why is it a good thing for a child to bring attention to the differences among others? I thought we were trying to be inclusive and teach acceptance? I also like the subsection "using problem-solving skills in a variety of social settings". Really, how many social settings could there possibly be in the classroom?!
Of course, I love the comments section. Apparently my child (at school) demonstrates self-reliance and a sense of responsibility, as well as self-motivation. Hmmm, that couldn't be my child who blames his spilled milk on his sister and says "I can't" when we ask him to put away his clean clothes.
Under the Language section, there's an area described as "displays an understanding and critical awareness when viewing media". Really? This from the boy who wants to know why he can't become the Hulk when he grows up? Or what about "understands and demonstrates critical thinking when engaged in the reading process". Would that be Devlin reading? And what is considered to be "critical thinking". Since he only sometimes demonstrates this skill, obviously we'd like to help him improve but how? The comments weren't helpful at all, although apparently he is using classroom resources to support his writing. Does that mean he's using a desk and pencil? Or that he's gazing upon the alphabet and copying the letters?
And I love the Arts section. My son, who can't carry a tune in a bucket, is now able to "sing songs while keeping a steady beat". The education system also monitors your development by how one "expresses responses to a variety of art forms from many cultures" and how one "demonstrates an awareness of themselves as artists, through engaging in activities in visual arts, music, drama and dance". When Devlin comes home and shows me the "dances" he's learned at school, I wonder if our tax dollars are going to waste! Under Health and Physical Activity, Devlin is learning to talk about safe and unsafe situations as they arise in the classroom. Why don't they teach it's unsafe to jump down 5 steps from the stairs, especially when your baby sister is on the last step. Or that it's unsafe to slide the stairs inside the laundry basket. I like the comment that Devlin is beginning to demonstrate balance, whole-body and hand-eye coordination and flexibility of movement. Why does he fall off the chair at dinner time then?
I long for the easy to understand report cards of yesterday. (Do I sound old?) I just want to know if my child is getting along with others. Does he show respect for the teachers? Is he able to stand in line, or does he continually have to be reprimanded? Can he put on his snowpants and boots by himself, because he can never seem to do that at home. Does he share toys with his mates without being prompted? Is he enjoying story time? Does he show an interest in picking out books that don't showcase a superhero? Can he count without skipping numbers? Is he starting to understand that when he has 3 cookies, he can give one to Ceilidh and one to Aisling and still have one to himself? For some reason, at home, having 3 cookies and two siblings to share means he will have none. (Okay, that might be true, because if you're not fast enough, Aisling will eat the remaining cookie.)
Under Personal and Social Development, there's a sub-section labelled "displays an awareness of surroundings" and another entitled "understands the unique differences among individuals, families, schools, and the neighbourhood". Apparently my child "often demonstrates" such awareness. The highest level is "consistently demonstrates". Then there's "additional time and experience needed" and "sometimes demonstrates". Can't tell if there's an actual difference between "sometime" and "often". Also, why is it a good thing for a child to bring attention to the differences among others? I thought we were trying to be inclusive and teach acceptance? I also like the subsection "using problem-solving skills in a variety of social settings". Really, how many social settings could there possibly be in the classroom?!
Of course, I love the comments section. Apparently my child (at school) demonstrates self-reliance and a sense of responsibility, as well as self-motivation. Hmmm, that couldn't be my child who blames his spilled milk on his sister and says "I can't" when we ask him to put away his clean clothes.
Under the Language section, there's an area described as "displays an understanding and critical awareness when viewing media". Really? This from the boy who wants to know why he can't become the Hulk when he grows up? Or what about "understands and demonstrates critical thinking when engaged in the reading process". Would that be Devlin reading? And what is considered to be "critical thinking". Since he only sometimes demonstrates this skill, obviously we'd like to help him improve but how? The comments weren't helpful at all, although apparently he is using classroom resources to support his writing. Does that mean he's using a desk and pencil? Or that he's gazing upon the alphabet and copying the letters?
And I love the Arts section. My son, who can't carry a tune in a bucket, is now able to "sing songs while keeping a steady beat". The education system also monitors your development by how one "expresses responses to a variety of art forms from many cultures" and how one "demonstrates an awareness of themselves as artists, through engaging in activities in visual arts, music, drama and dance". When Devlin comes home and shows me the "dances" he's learned at school, I wonder if our tax dollars are going to waste! Under Health and Physical Activity, Devlin is learning to talk about safe and unsafe situations as they arise in the classroom. Why don't they teach it's unsafe to jump down 5 steps from the stairs, especially when your baby sister is on the last step. Or that it's unsafe to slide the stairs inside the laundry basket. I like the comment that Devlin is beginning to demonstrate balance, whole-body and hand-eye coordination and flexibility of movement. Why does he fall off the chair at dinner time then?
I long for the easy to understand report cards of yesterday. (Do I sound old?) I just want to know if my child is getting along with others. Does he show respect for the teachers? Is he able to stand in line, or does he continually have to be reprimanded? Can he put on his snowpants and boots by himself, because he can never seem to do that at home. Does he share toys with his mates without being prompted? Is he enjoying story time? Does he show an interest in picking out books that don't showcase a superhero? Can he count without skipping numbers? Is he starting to understand that when he has 3 cookies, he can give one to Ceilidh and one to Aisling and still have one to himself? For some reason, at home, having 3 cookies and two siblings to share means he will have none. (Okay, that might be true, because if you're not fast enough, Aisling will eat the remaining cookie.)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Valentine's Day - Past and Present
There's been a lot of attention lately on the protests against Valentine's Day by singles and otherwise unattached folks. As an adult, I agree it's an unnecessary Hallmark Holiday. It puts way too much stress on finding a date for the 14th and suggests that to be alone is to be a loser. In fact, this belief starts to germinate in high school when kids are no longer required to bring a valentine for all of their classmates, but can selectively decide who will receive a memento of one's undying devotion. Remember the fundraisers on Valentine's Day, like the candy-grams and wilted carnations that were sold and delivered in class? All the popular cheerleaders received dozens and dozens from secret admirers while the rest of us got one or two from friends.
I half suspect the purpose of the whole day is to generate revenue for retailers - something I usually do not support. However, as a parent, it's fun to get involved in the whole process of picking out cards, and watch the excitement of your child as he diligently signs his name to the cartoon card. One media personality recently commented that Valentine's Day is for the kids. It is a fun time for children who are looking forward to exchanging Valentines and eagerly awaiting the red and pink treats that will inevitably accompany the cards.
It brings back memories of my first experience with Valentine's Day. I was 5 years old, and in kindergarten. We had spent a week decorating cracker boxes with pink paper, and gluing on misshaped hearts. I had no idea what all of this signified. Then the big day arrived, and we all sat in a circle. One by one, my classmates got up and distributed Valentine's cards to everyone else. Except for me. I had no idea that we were supposed to bring cards, nor did I have any idea of what Valentine's Day was. And certainly, there was no letter sent home explaining what was going to happen. (My son's school thoughtfully sends out a letter with the students' names.) At the end of the day, I lugged home the decorated cracker box filled with Valentines and showed it to my parents, who were equally mystified. As immigrants, they weren't well-acquainted with certain secular celebrations, like St. Patrick's Day and the Easter Bunny. Hallowe'en, however, was one they were introduced to by my surrogate grandfather. I remember Dr. Toop taking me around the neighbourhood with an old pillow case and teaching me the magic words "Trick or Treat" that resulted in candy being put into the pillowcase. Since he was a life-long bachelor, save for 6 months of his life, Valentine's Day obviously did not rank high on his list of priorities.
After that enlightening experience in kindergarten, my mother never forgot to purchase Valentines for our classmates. My grandmother even got into the spirit of the day by always having special candy treats for us. She loved any excuse to purchase gifts for her grandchildren, and she loved receiving our cards in return.
In our household, February 14th has always treated as extra-special. My spouse and I had our first date on February 14th, at a Harvey's no less. So while we're pawing through all of the cards that Devlin brings home from school, and munching on some candy hearts, I'm sure a Harvey's lunch will be on the agenda as well.
I half suspect the purpose of the whole day is to generate revenue for retailers - something I usually do not support. However, as a parent, it's fun to get involved in the whole process of picking out cards, and watch the excitement of your child as he diligently signs his name to the cartoon card. One media personality recently commented that Valentine's Day is for the kids. It is a fun time for children who are looking forward to exchanging Valentines and eagerly awaiting the red and pink treats that will inevitably accompany the cards.
It brings back memories of my first experience with Valentine's Day. I was 5 years old, and in kindergarten. We had spent a week decorating cracker boxes with pink paper, and gluing on misshaped hearts. I had no idea what all of this signified. Then the big day arrived, and we all sat in a circle. One by one, my classmates got up and distributed Valentine's cards to everyone else. Except for me. I had no idea that we were supposed to bring cards, nor did I have any idea of what Valentine's Day was. And certainly, there was no letter sent home explaining what was going to happen. (My son's school thoughtfully sends out a letter with the students' names.) At the end of the day, I lugged home the decorated cracker box filled with Valentines and showed it to my parents, who were equally mystified. As immigrants, they weren't well-acquainted with certain secular celebrations, like St. Patrick's Day and the Easter Bunny. Hallowe'en, however, was one they were introduced to by my surrogate grandfather. I remember Dr. Toop taking me around the neighbourhood with an old pillow case and teaching me the magic words "Trick or Treat" that resulted in candy being put into the pillowcase. Since he was a life-long bachelor, save for 6 months of his life, Valentine's Day obviously did not rank high on his list of priorities.
After that enlightening experience in kindergarten, my mother never forgot to purchase Valentines for our classmates. My grandmother even got into the spirit of the day by always having special candy treats for us. She loved any excuse to purchase gifts for her grandchildren, and she loved receiving our cards in return.
In our household, February 14th has always treated as extra-special. My spouse and I had our first date on February 14th, at a Harvey's no less. So while we're pawing through all of the cards that Devlin brings home from school, and munching on some candy hearts, I'm sure a Harvey's lunch will be on the agenda as well.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sibling Love
When Devlin was two years old, he became a big brother to Ceilidh. At first, I worried about sibling jealousy and whether or not he would bond with this little baby. Would he try to harm the baby or would he simply ignore the creature?
I shouldn't have wasted my energies, since it was obvious that he was fascinated by the tiny being. He was very protective of his sister. They'd take naps together, and I even got one picture of them sleeping side by side, with Devlin holding Ceilidh's tiny hand in his. Whenever we'd get ready to go anywhere, he'd point to Ceilidh's car seat and say her name, reminding us we weren't to leave her behind. He'd say "Don't cry, we're almost home" whenever Ceilidh screamed in the car, and he was quick to jam the soother in her mouth when she wouldn't stop crying.
When Aisling came along, Devlin was well-versed in his role as big brother. Being a big sister was new to Ceilidh but she took to the job with relish. She was quick to "shush" the baby when Aisling cried, and she loved to smother Aisling with kisses. I swear Aisling would cringe, even at 3 months, whenever she saw Ceilidh coming towards her with lips all puckered up.
On the weekend, I attended a baby shower for my sister. Aisling accompanied me as Daddy had promised a day of fun for Devlin and Ceilidh. It was a long day for Aisling and she was more than ready to leave by the end of the party. So much so, that she quickly located her shoes and jacket and tried to open the door to leave. When we finally exited the highway, I said "We're almost home. We'll see Daddy and Devlin and Ceilidh very soon." Aisling kept repeating "Ceilidh, Ceilidh" until we finally entered the house and she happily ran to her older sister.
It's moments like these that make me happy to be the mother of these rugrats.
I shouldn't have wasted my energies, since it was obvious that he was fascinated by the tiny being. He was very protective of his sister. They'd take naps together, and I even got one picture of them sleeping side by side, with Devlin holding Ceilidh's tiny hand in his. Whenever we'd get ready to go anywhere, he'd point to Ceilidh's car seat and say her name, reminding us we weren't to leave her behind. He'd say "Don't cry, we're almost home" whenever Ceilidh screamed in the car, and he was quick to jam the soother in her mouth when she wouldn't stop crying.
When Aisling came along, Devlin was well-versed in his role as big brother. Being a big sister was new to Ceilidh but she took to the job with relish. She was quick to "shush" the baby when Aisling cried, and she loved to smother Aisling with kisses. I swear Aisling would cringe, even at 3 months, whenever she saw Ceilidh coming towards her with lips all puckered up.
On the weekend, I attended a baby shower for my sister. Aisling accompanied me as Daddy had promised a day of fun for Devlin and Ceilidh. It was a long day for Aisling and she was more than ready to leave by the end of the party. So much so, that she quickly located her shoes and jacket and tried to open the door to leave. When we finally exited the highway, I said "We're almost home. We'll see Daddy and Devlin and Ceilidh very soon." Aisling kept repeating "Ceilidh, Ceilidh" until we finally entered the house and she happily ran to her older sister.
It's moments like these that make me happy to be the mother of these rugrats.
Another Milestone of Sorts
We had a late date night on Saturday. Our first in many months. Although we were tired that evening, we decided to take advantage of our babysitter/nanny and see the new movie "Dear John". Excellent movie, and amazing eye candy.
So, it was very late by the time we fell asleep. Our children apparently didn't fall asleep until almost 11pm so we assumed they would be sleeping in as well. Wrong. 7 am and they're awake. Do they have an internal alarm clock? Although 7am IS sleeping in for the rugrats who had been waking up 6:30am for the past week.
However, Devlin and Ceilidh both made their way downstairs, turned on the tv and got out their toys. Aisling, also awake, was convinced to sleep a bit longer. It was great! While we could hear their chattering and the crashing of toys onto the floor, we were able to eke out another 45 minutes of dozing off and on.
Hurray - another moment to celebrate - they CAN entertain themselves on weekend mornings!
So, it was very late by the time we fell asleep. Our children apparently didn't fall asleep until almost 11pm so we assumed they would be sleeping in as well. Wrong. 7 am and they're awake. Do they have an internal alarm clock? Although 7am IS sleeping in for the rugrats who had been waking up 6:30am for the past week.
However, Devlin and Ceilidh both made their way downstairs, turned on the tv and got out their toys. Aisling, also awake, was convinced to sleep a bit longer. It was great! While we could hear their chattering and the crashing of toys onto the floor, we were able to eke out another 45 minutes of dozing off and on.
Hurray - another moment to celebrate - they CAN entertain themselves on weekend mornings!
Friday, February 5, 2010
A tantrum and a mother's guilt
Let's face it, we all lead busy lives that revolve around crazy schedules. Some more so than others. Our family is no different since our young children are also involved in various extra-curricular activities. There's gymnastics one night, swimming lessons on another, dance for Ceilidh, and skating lessons. Come summer, skating will be replaced by soccer. We're also hoping to squeeze in music lessons next year. I am conscious of the fact that over-scheduling children is ultimately detrimental to family harmony and to children themselves. I understand the importance of free play, especially the "skill" of being able to entertain oneself for varying periods of time. Not to mention the importance of spending some quality time together as a family, without having to rush off to a class or lesson somewhere. We try to eat together as a family, and some evenings, we simply hang out and watch movies or play in the basement (albeit while Daddy tries to catch the score of the hockey game).
Maybe I've been a bit pre-occupied with work lately and the regular everyday demands of home life (you know - the never-ending pile of laundry, the weekly need to replenish the pantry and fridge, the daily struggle to stay on top of dust), and some days, it's a struggle to make to bedtime with my sanity intact. I feel a tug of guilt that I don't spend enough "quality" time with the kids during the week. Sometimes, it seems the only times I am not impatient with them is first thing in the morning when they join me in the basement to watch me exercise, and late at night, when one of them is snuggled against me. In between those two periods, there's lots of begging, coaxing, badgering to get dressed / finish eating / put away toys / get into the bath / find your stories / listen / stop fighting with your sibling and share your toys / LISTEN / threatening of the naughty stool and time - outs / LISTEN!
Last night was swimming. Got home. Greeted kids. Asked about their day and school for Devlin. Put away shopping. Changed out of work clothes. Told children to get ready (bathing suits already on under clothes, thanks to our lovely nanny Rose). Came back downstairs to check mail. Told kids to get on coats and shoes. TOLD KIDS TO PUT ON COAT AND SHOES. Only Aisling has her coat and shoes on. Ceilidh pouting and Devlin having full on meltdown. Threatened no swimming and no McDonalds. Temper tantrum increasing in intensity. Fine. Send Ceilidh and Aisling out the door with Daddy, while Mommy stays home. I have decided we are following through on our threat so he knows we're serious, and he really gets to experience the consequences of his actions. He's now screaming that he wants to go to swimming, and he'll be good, and he'll listen. Whatever.
Well, after about 15 minutes, he finally calmed down, and decided he was going to go home to his real family. (Where? Yep, home.) So he put on his jacket and shoes and said he was ready to go home. I showed him the door. He asked if I was going to drive him. I said no, since he was obviously going to go home to his "real" family, he could ask his "real" mother. Then the tears started again, as he declared I was his real mommy and he wanted his mommy and he wanted to stay. So I advised him to take his coat and shoes off.
I went into the living room and turned on a cooking show (the first I've seen in months) and waited. It wasn't long before a little tearful boy climbed into my lap. We cuddled until his tears dried, and talked about his horrible tantrum. We chatted about how he missed out on swimming lessons, and how we could avoid that situation. Within minutes I had my cheerful little boy back. He ran to the kitchen and helped himself to yogurt and bread and apples. He was very hungry. All that crying must have been quite the workout!
As he munched away, I wondered if his display of disobedience wasn't simply a cry for attention. Maybe he just wanted some extra hugs and some time with Mommy. Maybe it was his way of saying, "stop - I need a break from all this!" And then the guilt of being a working mother with not enough hours in the day began to creep into my psyche. Devlin, of course, then had to hammer the final nail in my coffin with this next remark.
"Mommy, I'm going to miss you tomorrow when you're at work."
Maybe I've been a bit pre-occupied with work lately and the regular everyday demands of home life (you know - the never-ending pile of laundry, the weekly need to replenish the pantry and fridge, the daily struggle to stay on top of dust), and some days, it's a struggle to make to bedtime with my sanity intact. I feel a tug of guilt that I don't spend enough "quality" time with the kids during the week. Sometimes, it seems the only times I am not impatient with them is first thing in the morning when they join me in the basement to watch me exercise, and late at night, when one of them is snuggled against me. In between those two periods, there's lots of begging, coaxing, badgering to get dressed / finish eating / put away toys / get into the bath / find your stories / listen / stop fighting with your sibling and share your toys / LISTEN / threatening of the naughty stool and time - outs / LISTEN!
Last night was swimming. Got home. Greeted kids. Asked about their day and school for Devlin. Put away shopping. Changed out of work clothes. Told children to get ready (bathing suits already on under clothes, thanks to our lovely nanny Rose). Came back downstairs to check mail. Told kids to get on coats and shoes. TOLD KIDS TO PUT ON COAT AND SHOES. Only Aisling has her coat and shoes on. Ceilidh pouting and Devlin having full on meltdown. Threatened no swimming and no McDonalds. Temper tantrum increasing in intensity. Fine. Send Ceilidh and Aisling out the door with Daddy, while Mommy stays home. I have decided we are following through on our threat so he knows we're serious, and he really gets to experience the consequences of his actions. He's now screaming that he wants to go to swimming, and he'll be good, and he'll listen. Whatever.
Well, after about 15 minutes, he finally calmed down, and decided he was going to go home to his real family. (Where? Yep, home.) So he put on his jacket and shoes and said he was ready to go home. I showed him the door. He asked if I was going to drive him. I said no, since he was obviously going to go home to his "real" family, he could ask his "real" mother. Then the tears started again, as he declared I was his real mommy and he wanted his mommy and he wanted to stay. So I advised him to take his coat and shoes off.
I went into the living room and turned on a cooking show (the first I've seen in months) and waited. It wasn't long before a little tearful boy climbed into my lap. We cuddled until his tears dried, and talked about his horrible tantrum. We chatted about how he missed out on swimming lessons, and how we could avoid that situation. Within minutes I had my cheerful little boy back. He ran to the kitchen and helped himself to yogurt and bread and apples. He was very hungry. All that crying must have been quite the workout!
As he munched away, I wondered if his display of disobedience wasn't simply a cry for attention. Maybe he just wanted some extra hugs and some time with Mommy. Maybe it was his way of saying, "stop - I need a break from all this!" And then the guilt of being a working mother with not enough hours in the day began to creep into my psyche. Devlin, of course, then had to hammer the final nail in my coffin with this next remark.
"Mommy, I'm going to miss you tomorrow when you're at work."
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Groundhog's Day 2010
Well, it's official - there will be 6 more weeks of winter. When we explained what Groundhog's Day was about, and what the shadow signified, Devlin was quite happy.
"I want more winter. We've only been tobogganing once this year!"
While we adults are happy to contend with fewer occasions of shovelling the driveway and less treacherous winter driving conditions, the children are miserably sad gazing at the frozen ground that's bare of snow.
So whenever even a few flurries fall from the winter skies, we hear their hopeful prayers that there will be enough snow to go sledding down the hill.
"I want more winter. We've only been tobogganing once this year!"
While we adults are happy to contend with fewer occasions of shovelling the driveway and less treacherous winter driving conditions, the children are miserably sad gazing at the frozen ground that's bare of snow.
So whenever even a few flurries fall from the winter skies, we hear their hopeful prayers that there will be enough snow to go sledding down the hill.
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