Monday, March 29, 2010

Nanny = Adultery

So, there's a theory being flaunted by some poor misinformed and misguided individual that hiring a nanny to care for your male child will result in your precious son growing up to be a cheating bastard. Some British know-it-all has written a book about this theory, although I'm unsure if he actually has some stats to back up his claims. In essence, he suggests that when one farms out childcare, the baby learns that needs can be met by more than one source. If comfort can be found in the arms of another woman ( I guess his theory only works if the alternate caregiver is a female), then the child soon learns that there are alternate sources of comfort to be had later in life. So, if a spouse is not freely giving, then an alternate mate can be located. Whatever. What if the alternate caregiver is a grandmother? Do boys raised by grannies also turn out to be cheaters - perhaps into older women? What if the child goes to a day care center where it's staffed by a number of women? Does the boy become a serial adulterer? I don't know how that explains Tiger Woods, whose mother was a constant presence.
Oh yeah, if the daughter is left with an alternate caregiver, this British doofus has the nerve to suggest that these female children will be more susceptible to fill their emotional voids with substance abuse. See here for another review of the same stupid theory. I suppose Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan were raised by an army of nannies.
Obviously, there are opposing, more sane views about early bonding with caregivers - mom, dad, grandparents, nannies, baby-sitters. We all agree that early attachment is essential for the child's overall health. Caregiving is more than simply providing for the child's basic biological needs. It's about nurturing the soul, and comforting the cries with coos and cuddles. Remember the experiment in our pysch 101 textbooks where the baby monkeys preferred to cuddle up to the soft mannequin that provided no milk, compared to the mechanical, metallic robot that was equipped with milk bottles? So long as a child is raised in a caring, loving, stable environment, who cares how many people cuddle that child? In fact, in many primitive cultures, it was a whole community that raised the youngsters, with wet nurses to divvy up the task of nourishing the babies.
If there's one thing this Dr. Friedman got right, it was this - the baby's rights. He says "a mother's absence in early childhood is a denial of the child's human rights." Okay. I agree. Every child, and every mother, should have the opportunity to be together, without the worries of having to pay for food and other necessities. So, let's call on the powers-to-be to extend funded maternity leave to a full year down in the States. Canada has a year, and some European countries have two years of maternity leave! Let's increase the EI payments here in Canada so staying home and bonding with baby is a feasible option. Let's alter the managment's view of "working moms" so that women can feel supported in their decision to take a longer maternity leave. And while we're at it, let's put in daddy's rights too. The term "maternity leave" should be dropped in favour of "parental leave". I think everyone can agree the need to bond to dad is just as important as the need to attach to mom. Any comments?

Mmmm Cookies!

Yesterday was one of those days. Mommy and Daddy were exhausted from a sleepless night, thanks to Devlin. He was up from 4am to almost 6am, complaining of an earache. No, not the ear that had the popcorn kernel, but the other year.  We tried ear drops, painkillers, warm compresses - to no avail. I think he finally fell asleep from exhaustion, as did we. Fortunately, the girls slept in until 8am. Their sleep had been interrupted too, otherwise their eyes would have been open at 7am.
The weather was rainy. The kids had been cooped up inside all day, and by late afternoon, they were driving the zoo keepers insane. As an attempt at distraction, I suggested we bake cookies. Devlin wanted Skor cookies but the pantry revealed no toffee bits, so we settled on chocolate chip cookies. Each child took a turn at stirring the cookie batter. Devlin cracked the eggs and I made sure no shells made their way into the mix. More stirring. Finally we were ready to put the cookies onto the cookie sheet.
I carefully placed cookie dough balls onto the cookie pan, and let each child have their turn at flattening the mounds into discs. My attention was mainly on dropping the cookie batter onto the sheets, so I didn't catch this at first. Then something caught my eye. Each child, after carefully smushing the cookie dough into a round shape, then licked his or her palm, before moving onto the next cookie dough lump! As I yelled "stop", Aisling then started to pick out the chocolate chips from each formed raw cookie and pop them into her mouth.
After the cookies came out of the oven, Daddy sampled them, and complimented the kids on their efforts. Then I revealed the secret ingredient - kiddie saliva.
Mmmm...cookies made from scratch...and lots of love!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

March Break 2010

The weather today is definitely not springlike. In fact, it feels like winter is returning with a vengeance. What a change from last week when we had balmy conditions. For those of who stayed put during the March Break, it was wonderful to know we didn't have spend lots of dollars to have a sunny vacation. Mommy and Daddy also took a few days off to enjoy the warm weather and to partake in some March Break activities with the rugrats.
There was a trip to the sugar bush at Bronte Creek to learn how maple syrup is made. It probably wasn't a true experience since we were lacking the snow and cold. But it was great to dine on pancakes, sausages, bacon and of course, maple syrup, while sitting at a picnic table. We went with Xander and Liam and their mom. We all tried some maple candy, went on wagon rides and checked out the whole sugaring process. The kids has a great time, and to top it off, they were allowed some free time in the barn that's been converted to a playhouse to tire themselves out completely.




There was a trip to the zoo - the real zoo, not our house. With the warm weather, there were many more animals to see. Giraffes, sleeping tigers, cougars, to name a few. Mostly, the kids were happy to have a lunch of Popsicles and beaver tails.







There was also a visit to the Ontario Science Centre which was packed with almost every single grade school student in the GTA. While our three are a little too young to understand the "science" aspect, they did enjoy KidsPark, the children's area. We also had Auntie Grace join us that day. With one adult per child, it made keeping track of the little ones a lot easier. We ended that day with well-deserved meal at Duff's, our favorite wing joint.




All in all, it was a great week, and a great way to tire out the monkeys!












Friday, March 19, 2010

The Bestest Dad

When you have young children, it is a miracle to get through a meal without interruptions, or without the children having to leave the table for one reason or another. Our children always seem to have to use the bathroom halfway through a meal. Once upon a time, Ceilidh used the excuse of having to "pee" when she was really using the toilet to spit out vegetables. Nowadays, she really does have to go when she excuses herself from the table. Or rather, she announces her "need" since our kids haven't quite caught on to all table manners. Really, I'd be happy if they used their cutlery in a consistent fashion.
The other night, true to fashion, Ceilidh announced she had to pee and left the table. After a few minutes, we heard "somebody wipe my bum!"
We ignored it, because we were waiting for the magic word. Another minute, and then, "somebody wipe my bum please!"
We yelled out, "Who do you want - Mommy or Daddy?"
"Daddy!" came up the answer.

Daddy went to do the deed, and this is the conversation I overheard.

Ceilidh: Daddy, you're the bestest dad.
Daddy: I'm your only dad.
Ceilidh: You're the bestest, most wonderful dad.
Daddy: Why? Because I wipe your bum?
Ceilidh: Yes! I love you. You're the bestest Dad.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Devlin's Ear - The Final Chapter

The kernel is finally out! It's now in a plastic specimen bottle, ready to take its place amongst Devlin's keepsakes on his bookshelf.

We received a call from Sick Kid's hospital last night instructing us to bring Devlin in this morning. Also a suggestion that he not eat or drink anything. So off we went. Due to the time change, we had to rouse all 3 children and bundle them into the van. While Daddy and the girls went for breakfast, Mommy and Devlin headed up to the ENT clinic and waited. And waited, and waited. Mommy was getting grumpier by the minute - it may have been because she hadn't yet had her morning coffee. Since Devlin was not allowed to eat or drink, I had promised him I wouldn't eat or drink anything. Finally, we were seen by a young doctor who was very personable and who put Devlin at ease by commenting on Devlin's Spiderman shirt.
The doctor took a look, and was confident he could retrieve the popcorn kernel in 4 seconds, but Devlin would not lay still. The moment Devlin say the long steel instrument that had caused much angst earlier in the week, he freaked out. So, the decision was made to put Devlin under and remove it in the operating room. Luckily for us, there was an opening in the OR schedule. Within minutes we were whisked off to be registered, and Devlin was being put into a large flannel hospital gown. He was a bit concerned that people would see his underwear. We raced through the consent forms and patient history, and then we were meeting the nurses and doctors. The pediatric ENT specialist advised us he would be applying a little bit of butter and then some heat to the ear, and hopefully the kernel would pop its way out. Devlin looked up from the toys at that comment. When the doctor assured him it was a joke, Devlin cracked a smile. I kissed Devlin good-bye, while assuring him I just had to call Daddy and that I'd be with him shortly. The nurses led him while keeping up a conversation about his Transformers rainboots. I was led into the OR waiting room. I knew it would be a simple procedure, and that he wouldn't be "asleep" for long. I knew the doctors were well-trained, as were the nurses. I also knew this was probably the only way that darned kernel was coming out, or we'd have a corn plant growing out his ear. I had no reason for concern. Yet, it was a bit nerve-wracking to see my first-born being led away and to not be with him during this procedure.
Before 15 minutes had passed by, the doctors were back with the offending kernel in the specimen bottle for me. All went well. The only complication was a small perforation in his ear drum - likely caused by one of the earlier attempted retrievals. But I was assured that it should heal nicely with some ear drops to be prescribed and a follow-up appointment was scheduled. I'm glad they warned me, otherwise I would have been troubled by the blood stains on the bedsheet by his ear.
Another 15 minutes and then I was taken to the recovery room where Devlin was sucking on a popsicle, looking a little pale and tired. He was excited to be taken down to the car in a wheel chair, although he kept calling it a "go chair".
We're finally home now. Mommy got her coffee. Devlin's had three bowls of chicken noodle soup and he's back to his normal, energetic self. The girls are in good spirits too. Mommy and Daddy and the rest of our extended family are relieved the great popcorn ordeal is now over. I calculated we had spent almost 16 hours in various hospitals and doctor's offices since this whole adventure began. I'm sure nothing smaller than an elephant will ever make its way into Devlin's ear or nose from now on. As Devlin says, "I've learned my lesson."
Mommy and Daddy have learned their lesson too - if anything ever happens to the kids requiring medical attention, we're heading to Sick Kids immediately.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Devlin's Ear - Part 2

The popcorn kernel is still in the ear.



Yep, despite a visit to the Ears Nose Throat specialist, who was NOT equipped in any fashion to deal with a frightened five year old. Nor did he think it was prudent to listen to the parents' concerns about scaring the child anymore.



I appreciated the sign at the doctor's office that warned 90 minute waits were common. In fact, we waited 110 minutes before being ushered into the cramped examination room. The older doctor took a peek and tried to flush out the kernel with a huge syringe. Devlin said it hurt. Not sure why this doc would try this method when it was unsuccessful the day before, but, hey, I'm not a doctor. Then he took out another long steel cuvette (not sure if it was properly sterilized)and Devlin really started to freak. Not surprising considering his experience the day before in the ER. Devlin asked for the vacuum. The doc took it out and was about to poke it in his ear without explaining the mechanics to him. Any child would freak at this long pointy thing coming at them. We slowed down the doctor's actions by explaining to Devlin the long pointy thing was a vacuum, and there was air at the end. We forced the doctor to explain his machines. It sort of calmed Devlin down, but not for long. I think the doctor was insulted when Devlin said "Don't hurt me". Well, the specialist didn't try for long before he gave up. He suggested coming into the hospital clinic next week where they would try to swaddle him and attempt it again. I don't think so. We inquired about sedating Devlin - he said he never heard of that.

Understandably, we were frustrated. I called my doctor sister in London for suggestions. We were prepared to drive to London. She made some inquiries with colleagues and suggested Sick Kids in Toronto. We headed home for a brief respite, and to see Ceilidh and Aisling, grab some food and more magazines and books before heading to the hospital. Of course, it made sense in hindsight. Sick Kids probably sees these types of silly childhood situations on a daily basis, and are better trained to deal with spooked children.

It was a quiet night at the Sick Kids ER. Despite the relatively low number of patients, we still waited 4 hours before being seen by a pediatrician. She was great. Took a quick peek. Listened to our tale about the previous failed attempts to remove the offending kernel at various medical establishments that did nothing but traumatize Devlin. After consulting with the pediatric ENT specialist, it was decided that instead of attempting anything further, the best course of action would be to sedate Devlin at a clinic in a few days and remove it then. While we don't like the idea of waiting another few days, at last, we now know that an individual who is specially trained to deal with children and little children's ears will be administering to Devlin.

We left the ER around 1:oo am and it took another 20 minutes to find our way into the parking garage. That was another adventure.

I have to say, throughout this entire ordeal, Devlin was quite well-behaved while having to wait for endless hours at various ERs and doctor's waiting rooms. Ceilidh and Aisling have been wonderful despite the lack of attention. I did have to promise to paint both girls' toes with pink nail polish on the weekend and make a batch of brownies.

Stay tuned for the next segment of this popcorn drama.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Devlin's ear misadventure

I got a call from Devlin's school. Just before dismissal, the kids were cleaning up after an activity, and Devlin... (I was half-afraid I was going to be told he got into a fight with another kid)...put a popcorn kernel in his ear, and now it's stuck in there.


Part of me was relieved he didn't get into a pushing match with another student, and there was a part of me that was embarrassed that I had that kid, the one who always manages to find some bit of trouble. Another part of me was asking, in a very loud voice, "WHY? WHY? WHY?"


I called home to give Daddy the head's up. Daddy who was trying to recuperate from a cold. Daddy, who now has to figure out if the kernel can be removed at home, or if a trip to the doctor's is warranted, or worse, a jaunt to the emergency room. Daddy, who's also shaking his head, and thinking, "of all the stupid things..."



Well, when asked why, Devlin said another kid told him to do it.



The response on the tip of my tongue is, "if someone told you to jump off the bridge, would you???"

Well, the doctor at the walk-in clinic was unsuccessful at retrieving the errant kernel. Despite going in with long tweezers and trying to flush it out.

A trip to the ER ensued. The receptionist and the nurses all smothered their grins when they heard why we were there. After a long wait, we were finally ushered in. The nurse-practitioner put on a head piece with a lamp (like a miner's helmet) and took a look. She was confident she could dislodge the kernel. That is, until Devlin started freaking out when she touched his ear and poked at it with this long skinny hook. He started kicking up a fuss. I tried to hold him down. He fought me off. All the while screaming "Don't touch my ear please. Don't hurt me please!" At least, he remembered his manners. The promise of candy wasn't tempting enough to persuade him to sit still in the chair. Not even the threat of having a corn plant growing out of his ear if the kernel wasn't removed.
The decision was made to lay him in a bed while restraining him with a sheet. He had to be dragged to the bed. By two adults. The nurse swaddled him with the sheet. His hands managed to escape. Re-swaddling, while I held down his legs and the other nurse immobilized his upper half. Another attempt at grabbing the popcorn kernel. Lots of screaming. All of the patients are staring or laughing at us. Devlin still managed to squirm and wriggle - his hands popped out again, his head kept moving, and the end result was bleeding from the ear and no kernel.
I felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn't control nor calm my child down.
Another consult, and next course of action is to see an Ears Nose Throat Specialist tomorrow. Hopefully they'll be able to remove the kernel with a special suction instrument. They also suggested bringing along someone stronger to restrain him.
"Cute kid," the ER staff all commented as we gathered our belongings. "And very feisty!"
Yep, also full of mischief.
Parenting - never a dull moment.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Back on Her Game

Aisling has finally recovered from her bout with the rotavirus. Her digestive system is also back on track, so she now able to enjoy milk too. And she's making up for lost time by eating constantly. Bowls of cereal, bowls of rice with and without seaweed/nori, fruit, yogurt, cheese, cheeps, bread, granola bars - pretty much whatever she can get her hands on. Last night, she munched on some cereal while dinner was being prepared and then gobbled up a plate of spaghetti, and topped it off with oreo cookies. Well, the creme of the oreo cookies.

Her new favorite? A treat that's pronounced "hot duck", which is NOT warm water fowl, but Korean-style pancakes with a brown sugar filling. Grandma brought up a batch. The kids devoured it. Devlin, as he grabbed the last one from the tin, said "Grandma better make some more before she leaves." So Grandma did, and now Aisling is polishing them off.

Her little belly is back and her cheeks have filled out again too. Her energy level is back to normal, as well as her impish smile.

On the weekend, when it was time for her nap, she gestured to Uncle Billy to pick her up. She then pointed to the stairs. He took her up. She directed him to the rocking chair and pointed to the blanket, saying "Cold". When Uncle Billy picked up the wrong blanket, she corrected him by pointing again to other blanket. Then she turned on the CD player with her lullaby tunes, and climbed into his lap. Saying "baby book", she pointed to her nap time book. When her uncle was done reading, she pushed it away, and settled against his chest and promptly fell asleep.

After a week of having a sick child, it's nice to be back to our usual, daily routines. More importantly, it's wonderful to have healthy and happy kids.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Identity Issues

Sometimes little boys want to be like their Dads. They imitate their father's mannerisms, will profess to like the same sports or tv shows as their dad, and engage in all sorts of other super hero worship. Devlin is like all the others. He loves Spiderman because it's his Daddy's favorite superhero. He loves to wear his Montreal Canadiens t-shirt because it's his Dad's favorite hockey team (even though they haven't won a Stanley Cup in recent memory).
Lately, he's been taking his idolization of his dad to extremes. No, he's not trying to pretend to shave, or anything like that. Rather, he's forging a new identity for himself.
On the weekend, Devlin asked my sister, who's about to give birth to her first baby, what the baby would look like. More specifically, "What colour skin will the baby have?"
My sister was surprised, but answered, "Well, the same colour skin as you and Ceilidh and Aisling."
Devlin persisted. "Will the baby have my skin colour or like Ceilidh?"
Auntie Shunaha answered again, "The same as all of you."
Devlin, as if stating the obvious, retorted, "Well, I'm white. Just like Daddy. And those two are yellow," pointing to his sisters.
Maybe he's really trying to model after his dad, or maybe he believes because he's a boy, he's a by-product of his dad, and while his sisters, being girls, are modelled after their mother. I don't know.
A few weeks ago, he proudly proclaimed himself to be half-Korean and half-mungee cake. That was after he was corrected that he was NOT Chinese, although he thought he was because he believed he had "Chinese-looking eyes".

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Smiles!

Devlin's lost another tooth. Here's his new smile, and smiles from the others to brighten your day.


















Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Princess Ceilidh

Since we had a rough few days with Aisling's illness, it was decided at the last minute to send Ceilidh to the "spa" workshop held at her dance studio. Every 6 weeks or so, the dance studio holds workshops for the students. A 3 hour session, usually with some cheerleading, jazz dance, and lots of crafts. The spa workshop involved a hair and make-up session, with a dress-up portion and a "catwalk". Every little girl's definition of a fun time. I was reluctant to send Ceilidh, as I was afraid of the diva that would return. But it would be an afternoon of fun for Ceilidh, so off she went, with her princess costume and hairbrush in her knapsack.


When I arrived to pick her up, she was brimming with barely contained glee as she proudly displayed her painted fingernails and toe nails - in 4 different colours too! Her hair was in two pig tails and there was purple eye-shadow adorning her eyes. She posed and giggled as she told me about her afternoon.
( There were some moments of frustration later that evening when I had to patiently explain the bath wouldn't was away the nail polish. )

A few days later, she noticed the nail polish was chipping. I could not convince her that it was time to take off the green polish. Instead, I found myself agreeing to buy red nail polish if it would mean she would be a good listener. I came home with pale pink nail polish instead and quickly halted the protests with the presentation of pale pink lip gloss to match. The fact that it all smelled like candy was bonus.

The only snag we ran into was Devlin wanting nail polish too.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Gold Canada Gold!

Who didn't watch the amazing men's hockey game between Canada and USA?
Well, my daughter Ceilidh. She and her brother were playing in the basement, on the stairs, around the foyer. And often in the line of the sight of the television where we were watching the nerve-wracking, heart-pounding sudden death over time period. So, when Sidney Crosby scored the goal that was indeed heard around the world, and Daddy let out a huge shout of joy, Ceilidh was startled and frightened. She started to cry with huge tears leaking out of her eyes. As Daddy danced around the living room, Ceilidh cried harder.
"Daddy, you scared me!" she wailed.
So, Daddy had to pick her up, soothe away her fears and dry her tears in between watching the replay of that amazing goal.