Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Hug your Child

Instead of celebrating her tenth wedding anniversary this week, there is a mother in Ontario who will be preparing to say a final goodbye and bury her three children and father. Because of the actions of a unthinking individual who probably thought he was invincible or something.
There are no words that could possibly describe what this mother and father are living through and feeling and thinking. There is nothing. They lost their entire family - 2 sons and a daughter - in an instant.
How does the human spirit ever recover from that?
How can life be so cruel?

Hug your child or children, cherish them, and say a prayer for the grieving parents who are living through everyone's worst nightmare.

Hockey Drama - part 2

So, we learned late last week what team Devlin was assigned. It's a skill level below what he was playing at last year, but this coach is something else.
He's demanding a commitment in both attitude and time from these kids. There will be calisthenics before the game, and yoga after games and practices. And an extra evening of practice. There will be a nutrition plan for the kids - mainly discouraging fast foods before and immediately a game, and recommending wholesome and nutritious food items. There is a ban on sports drinks, which is more than fine with me.
The players are expected to have their gear ready to go on the night before a game or practice, and have all of their schoolwork and assignments completed before rink sessions. The team is expected to attend the games in white button down dress shirts and team ties, with their game jersey hanging smartly on clothes hanger instead of shoved haphazardly into the hockey bag with their smelly gear. There's also an off-season training program.
Seems like a lot?
I was a little skeptical too. But then I learned that several of Devlin's new teammates were invited to be part of the team Devlin that didn't make. And, these kids turned down the opportunity. They chose to remain with this coach and his philosophy. The returning players' parents also appear supportive of this coaching regime. The focus and emphasis is on learning the game, and developing each child's skill on the ice, while introducing a way of life. Devlin's commented that "it's like being in the NHL!"
In the end, I hope Devlin develops his skills and has fun, and if it's easier to convince him to eat more veggies, then I'm all for it.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Hockey Drama

It's fall, and it's time for our busy household to start up the seasonal chaos of hockey. With two kids in hockey, it's pretty  much guaranteed that we will spend way more hours in a cold ice rink than we'd like. I love that commercial about the child asking his dad about the number of games they played, the number of hot chocolates purchased, the number of games they lost and won, and most importantly, the jersey number. That pretty sums up our life. And it'll get exponentially nuttier when Quinn signs up next year.
But there's also the unexpected and crushing drama we've had this week.
A few disclaimers, though:
- our kids play at the house league level, not rep or travel
- I have no desire to see them play at the rep level
- I am not disillusioned by dreams of grandeur - I am quite realistic in my lack of expectations re: the scouts coming to our door
- all we'd like is for our kids to develop a skill and love for Canada's game

For the past three years, Devlin has played with a particular team. He's made some great friends, and of course, his hockey skills have developed. In fact, we offered him the opportunity to try out for another team this summer (the rink is closer) and he declined, citing his desire to continue playing on a team with his friends. He missed a few weeks last year as a result of an injury, which in turn, caused him to more cautious on the ice. Not an overly aggressive player to begin with, this may or not have affected how he was evaluated by the team coach.
(and here's my short rant: for a team that consistently lost EVERY game in the regular season, there was no logical reason for Devlin to be taken out during a power play on the off-chance their team could score, even when they were 5-0. Devlin challenged his coach on that decision and was told, the team needed a scoring chance. Whatever...)
Every fall, the hockey league assesses the skills of the children who have signed up in order to slot the kids into the teams of the appropriate skill level. This year, Devlin failed to make the cut for the team he's played on for three years, with kids of comparable skills as his. The team with majority of his hockey friends.
Then there was the issue that it appeared there were not enough children to form another team, as only 24 kids were assessed and of them, only one goalie.
While we waited to officially hear of where Devlin would be assigned, his father looked into vacancies on other teams. And we debated on how to break the news to our child who was looking forward to another season of hockey with his friends. I wanted to wait until we had more information about the hockey season so we could answer his questions, but Devlin caught a glimpse of his dad looking at another team's website. And he knew the first game was scheduled for this weekend and was wondering about when we'd hear about the game's location.
We sat him down last night. Prefaced with lots of reassurance of his hockey skills, we advised him he had not made the team. Devlin's face registered disappointment immediately. His face literally crumbled and he dissolved into tears. My heart broke.
I cursed this stupid assessment routine, and I most definitely seethed inwardly about the politics which we know occur during the sorting of players.
Early this morning, we received word about his new team. We pointed out some familiar names of other children he's played with in the past. He seemed okay with it, and I'm hoping he's managed to put behind his disappointment and look towards just enjoying being on the ice. The first practice is this weekend, and here's hoping he'll find himself enjoying the easy going camaraderie he had with his former teammates.
But it still sucks...

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Day Two

I fear history is repeating itself. When Devlin started junior kindergarten (back when it was half days, but in reality 3 hours), he cried every day I dropped him off. For two and half months. The teachers placed a special "crying" chair for him in the hallway so he could have his tears without disrupting the class.
Quinn did not want to re-attend school this morning.
When I picked him up yesterday, he was eager to leave. He insisted on bringing his indoor shoes and extra clothes home with him, probably figuring he had tried this school gig and was so over it.
The teachers indicated that after he had his massive meltdown - where he grabbed his backpack and was ready to leave - he ended up having a good day. Though there was the off-hand comment about his stubbornness.
This morning, when I woke him up and stated "you have to get ready for school!", Quinn responded with a "I hate school" and burrowed under the pillows.
Eventually the promise of a sugary breakfast cereal coaxed him out of bed.
The bargaining of 10 minutes of television got him into his clothes for the day. Daddy tried to get him excited by letting him pick out what would go into his lunch. (He ate every crumb yesterday!)
He refused to wear his backpack so Mommy got that job.
His older brother Devlin challenged him to a series of races that got the entire crew to school in record time.
Quinn seemed to be resigned to going to school this morning. Until we got to the gate. He saw another little boy in tears, and put the brakes on. His backpack was unceremoniously dumped on the ground and off he went in the other direction. Good thing I was outfitted for a run this morning. I got my warm up in my chasing him across the playground and dragged him back. While I tried to put his backpack onto his tiny shoulders, he took off again. This time, I carried him back, and dropped him inside he gated area.
For some reason, the gate attendant wouldn't close the gate so the little rascal got away again. For the third time, I chased him and handed him off to the teacher, and without a backward glance, I walked away quickly.
Do I sound cold hearted? It's my fourth child, and I've been down this road before. My loitering around the gate would have prolonged this torture and provided false hope to Quinn that I would give in and bring him home.
But I peeked from around the corner, hidden by the building. The music blaring from my earphones drowned out his cries as I watched him stomping his feet and attempting to move around the teacher and to freedom. The teacher was doing quite the jig to block his way. Really? Close the gate!
Then he gave up, and faced the wall and cried and cried. No amount of words would make him turn around. Finally, I watched the teacher just haul up his little body and carry him in.
I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow's drop off.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Quinn's First Day!!!

Well, we started off the morning with a temper tantrum and a crying session that lasted for 10 minutes. I don't think he ate much more than the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms cereal. Then there was another tantrum over the fact that Mommy wanted a photo to commemorate the occasion.
But finally, we made it to school, and for once, with plenty of time to spare.
As we made our to the building, Devlin kept up a steady talk about the fun Quinn would have - making new friends, playing with toys. He then truly stepped into the older brother role and lectured Quinn to not hit others - "Don't punch anyone, don't scratch or kick them. And no screaming!"
Quinn refused to acknowledge his older sisters but high fived his older brother as he marched into the gated kindergarten area. Mommy walked him in. He gamely shook the teacher's hand but shrugged his shoulders shyly when asked what his name was. We all went and found his cubby hole. He said "Hi" to another little child. He obediently put away his lunch box and slipped off his rubber boots. 
My baby asked me to stay and I suggested he find a book in the basket. While he was distracted, I slipped away. I peeked in a few times as I made my way in the rain to the yard. No tears yet from the Quinnster.
Looks good...for now...
Daddy and I returned home. Daddy was wiping away tears (his baby was going to school) while I looked forward to toasting the momentous occasion with the champagne (my baby is going to school!!) I had chilled the night before. 
True enough that this school thing might be short lived - he is only 3.5 years old, but let's run with it for now.
Thought we'd give the teachers fair warning about our crew!

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

T-1 and counting...

It's the first day of school - yay!
But Quinn doesn't start until tomorrow. Staggered start for junior kindergarten. To allow those teachers a chance to familiarize themselves with the new faces and slowly ease the new ones (and themselves) into a routine of sorts.
We decided to do a trial run this morning. Woke the kids up early. Fed them breakfast. Gave the deadline of being out the door by 8:20am.
Last night, the buggers decided that they were ready for school and decided to watch tv in the evening while I unpacked from our last hurrah summer vacation and tried to assemble a meal.
This morning, at 8:21am, those darn kids of mine realized they needed pencils and indoor shoes.
And then there was Quinn, who walked ever so slowly and splashed in every puddle he could spy.

Result - late for the first day of school.

Plan for tomorrow - get them out the door at 8:15am.

But also make sure Quinn goes to the bathroom before we leave and cross our fingers he doesn't need to poop at school.
Last week, I again encouraged him to wipe his own bum. He declined, and demanded that I do the honours.
"But Mommy won't always be with you! Who's going to wipe your bum at school?" I asked.
"Devlin will do it - Devlin goes to school," the little monkey stated in a matter of fact tone.

Devlin, of course, was aghast.