Aisling in the Kitchen!

Aisling loves to help out in the kitchen. On weekend mornings, she assists her dad with grinding the coffee beans and turning on the coffee maker. Or she's stirring up the pancake batter.

She loves to help Mommy with baking - lining the muffin tins with the paper cups, dumping in the ingredients, and licking the bowl.

To Be or Not...a Tiger Mother

So, I've finally gotten around to reading Amy Chua's Memoirs of a Tiger Mother book. It is interesting, to say in the least. Quite obviously, the media put its own spin on the contents, but I do believe Ms. Chua has some valid points about raising children. Particularly in light of her background as a first generation immigrant confronted with raising competent, competitive, healthy children in mixed race household. I echo many of her concerns and I can see her reasoning. I don't think I'd parent in the extreme manner she chose, though.
In one chapter, she described the conundrum of having to locate pianos while on vacation locales so that her elder daughter wouldn't miss a single day of practising. her younger daughter simply carted the violin onto the planes as carry on luggage. She also regaled the readers with an episode from a Grecian holiday where her parents were eager to check out the ruins with the rest of the family. It was planned, folks were dressed and waiting in the lobby. But alas, the younger daughter had to practise a mere ten minutes of violin. Well, it would have been ten minutes if she had gotten it right the first time. The child didn't, and refused to listen or heed her mother's instructions. Ten minutes stretched to hours and hours of arguing, tears, stubborn stances and a battle of wills. By the time it was over, the ruins were closed and no one came out the triumphantly happy victor.
Wow, I thought to myself as I read that passage. That certainly is NOT my style. For one, vacation is vacation. That means no piano practising. A vacation for bother the music pupil and the parent who has to supervise (me). Secondly, hours and hours of battling a child over one song? Never.
Until last weekend.
It would have taken twenty minutes, maybe thirty at the most, for Devlin to complete his piano practising session. IF all went well. That is, no attitude, no arguments about the number of times a song should be played, and no mistakes. The point of practising a piece numerous times is to ensure the song is eventually done without mistakes. Perfection is the goal. Had my son actually listened and heeded my knowledge of the music (I did indeed take years and years of piano when I was a kid), the practice session would have been done in a matter of minutes. But alas, this was not to be. First of all, there was arguments about the scale. The number of times he had to rehearse the scale. When I pointed out a mistaken note, Devlin's response was to fall onto the keyboard. That earned him a warning about his attitude and behaviour. It didn't get better. Before we moved onto the next piece, he spent some time on time-out spot. Then another round of tears and yelling while I tried to get him to count the beats correctly while synchronizing his right and left hands. "I quit piano" he yelled more than once. More time-outs. And on and on it went. He was threatened that if her didn't improve his behaviour markedly, he would miss his classmate's birthday party that afternoon. Even that didn't trigger a change. Eventually, I left to go grocery shopping, having missed the Farmer's Market.
When I returned from my errands, Devlin was more subdued and waiting at the piano. We completed the practice session a full five hours after it began.
He was allowed to attend the birthday party solely for the purpose of dropping off a gift and explaining why he couldn't stay.
The next day's piano session went by without a hitch.
I wasn't demanding the moon and the stars from him. I was simply requesting a positive attitude. I also know his abilities when it comes to piano. He can sight-read extremely well, and he has the ability to play the piece perfectly. He is also very lazy and prone to wanting to "give up" or rush through a task without the requisite care and attention. I know if I don't nurture the proper attitude now, it'll spell hardship and failures later on in life.
Am I a mean mommy? Or am I parent who simply wants the best for her child, and one who knows her child's abilities and limitations?
Tiger Mother - hear this Tiger Mommy ROAR!

Helpful Devlin

My son can be very helpful, when he wants to be. He's also susceptible to the messages from the advertising world. For Christmas last year, I received the Slap Chopper from him after he watched a commercial about how much help it would give me in the kitchen.
This year, apparently I am looking old and tired.
After viewing a commercial for hair dye, specifically the Garnier Nutrisse spot that has vivacious models flipping their long and luxurious locks, he suggested, 'I think you should get that Mommy!"

Hmmm....

Sibling Interactions

Growing up with three younger siblings, I've had my share of disagreements, tussles, name-calling, and altercations with my brother and sisters. So has my husband who is one of three. Perhaps that's why we don't react so quickly or strongly to the everyday arguments or differences of opinion that occur on a daily, if not hourly basis at our humble zoo.
We've heard it all:
- he's kicking me;
- she's looking at me;
- he says I don't know but I do know, and I'm right, right?;
- she wants my toy;
- she ate my snack;
- stop interruptin' me, I'm trying to talk;
- why does he get to pick the movie all the time;
- I can't see and she won't move;
- he's sitting in my spot;
- she's pinching me;
- he kicked me;
- it's my turn!

Whatever - we've heard it all, at least once or twice. So, unless someone is bleeding or in danger of being physically hurt, we generally don't get involved right away. After all, nine times out of ten, the issue is resolved within minutes and there's peace and quiet for at least another twenty-five minutes. Do they work it out themselves? Sometimes, but truthfully, it's a matter of outsmarting the other sibling, or moving quickly to nab the object in dispute. Aisling is brilliant at simply plucking the desired toy out of her older siblings' grasp and walking away. Ceilidh is talented at wedging herself into the corner of the couch (a prime piece of real estate in our home - all of one square foot) and wiggling the offending sibling out of the way. Devlin, unfortunately, loses out a lot, having it ingrained in his psyche that he is NEVER to hit his sisters. Oftentimes, he is the one to enlist parental backup in a dispute. My sister Shunaha often did that too.
Last weekend, the monkeys were amusing themselves while the grown-ups enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. All of a sudden, we heard the whine of distress from Aisling. It didn't stop, but continued to increase in volume and urgency. As I prepared to investigate the cause, my younger siblings suggested I stay put, and let them "work it out" as we did when we were growing up.
"It's good for their character to resolve their own disputes," my brother stated.
"Yeah, we worked it out on our own when we were kids," my sister Grace agreed.
"Sure, like how you worked it out with Shunaha? By pulling out handfuls of her hair?" I retorted.
"Yeah, well, she probably deserved it," came the reply.

Then the crying started in earnest. I rushed to see the cause and this is what I saw.

Ceilidh was standing on the couch (a no-no), Devlin was about five feet away on the ground. Aisling was in between, attempting to jump and retrieve the stuffed  monkey. Two of my monkeys, Devlin and Ceilidh, were playing monkey in the middle, with the third monkey, with an actual monkey.

I know where I stand...

...with my kids.

After 5 days away from my monkeys, I was missing them terribly. Every year, I am required to attend continuing education courses. Now that I am a mom, this week away is anticipated with relish. Imagine, sleeping alone and uninterrupted. Having dinner at an establishment where television sets are not hanging from every wall, crayons on the table are nowhere to be seen, and french fries do not accompany every entree. Nights where one can read a book, uninterrupted.
The reality is of course, that the week away s never as good as it seems. The beds are tiny and uncomfortable. While I may sleeping alone, the sleep is far from restful. The accommodations are far from stellar. The one highlight of the week are the evening meals where we linger over a coffee and dessert with friends. There's also the twinge of guilt from leaving the spouse to deal with everything else on the homefront. Although, in my mate's case, he also had the assistance of the much-loved and much requested Uncle Billy.
By Friday, I was missing my bed, the comforts of home, and mostly my kids. Ever the dutiful and doting mother, I did spend some time shopping for presents too.
When I arrived home, having made the drive in record time, my monkeys were partaking in their afternoon siesta. I quietly unpacked, dealt with some laundry, and waited patiently for the munchkins to awaken.
First Aisling blinked her eyes open, hearing a floor board creak. "Mama? Mama! You're here!" she exclaimed while clamouring off the bed. Devlin and Ceilidh also quickly opened their eyes. Devlin rushed over to give me a hug. Ceilidh?
"What'd you bring me?" were the first words out of her mouth upon catching a glimpse of me.

Ceilidh's First Crush on an ...Older Man!

While Ceilidh has selected certain male playmates to be her special friend at various times, she has mostly stuck to boys around her own age group. But a few weeks ago, she developed her first crush on an older man. Much to her father's dismay.
Both Devlin and Ceilidh attended Vacation Bible School this summer at our church. It was a week filled with learning new songs, making lots of crafts, meeting new friends and partaking in new games. On the last day of Vacation Bible School, the kids were invited to bring swimsuits and towels for "wet day". After picking them up, I asked how "wet day" went. "So much fun!" they enthused. I inquired as to what exactly occurred on "wet day". Devlin described water balloon fights and throwing wet sponges at friends. He was dramatic in relaying how he managed to aim and hit his friend who took a large wet sponge to the side. The story was enthusiastically relayed with actions and sound effects, as only little boys can.
Ceilidh was also eager to tell me how much she also had. I asked if she had hit any of her friends. "No, but I got to hit Brett!" came a suddenly shy response.
"Who's Brett?" I asked, my female instincts or perhaps, it was my mother radar perking up.
"He's one of the leaders, and he has hair like this," she motioned with her hands a mohawk over her head, or hopefully, just a faux-hawk.
Ceilidh's face became pink and a goofy smile overtook her face. When I asked some more questions about Brett, she clammed up and buried her face in my lap.
I switched topics to what songs and cheers they learned that day. While Devlin recited his team's cheer, Ceilidh excitedly relayed not her team's cheer, but the leader's group cheer. Hmmm, wonder where her attention was!
Later that evening, after being clued in by Mommy, Daddy asked Ceilidh about her day at Bible school. Her answer was a simple "good". But when Daddy asked about Brett, she buried her flushed face into my lap once again and refused to answer her father. But not before Daddy caught a glimpse of the goofy grin on his daughter's face.
This same scenario was replayed for Auntie Shunaha on Skype.
Poor Daddy, his little girl is discovering the world of boys.
Luckily for him, Ceilidh's first crush on an older boy also coincided with Aisling stomping around the house, arms crossed, stating emphatically, "I quit boys!" While we're not sure what brought that on, Daddy is certainly not questioning it.

Reno vacation

We're renovating our kitchen. New floors, new cabinets, more cabinets, more storage space, more counter space, new sink - I am incredibly excited. It took me almost two years to come up with the will power to live through the hassles of a renovation, but it's going to be worth it. After months of research, visiting kitchen and home improvement stores, haggling over designs and the budget, trying to schedule and re-schedule the contractors, arguing and communicating our extreme upset with the delivery people, we are going to have a new kitchen soon.
Most folks take a mini-vacation while a kitchen is being renovated. That wasn't a realistic option for us. But we needed to find a live-able solution to the lack of a kitchen, which is a necessity when you have young children. Fortunately, we were able to convince the grandparents to have the monkeys for the worst of the renovations. Our wonderful nanny also agreed to help out the grandparents in Windsor. 
So, the monkeys are having a vacation in Windsor. And mommy and daddy are enjoying a vacation from the kids, albeit in a cramped living room, surrounded by boxes and boxes of kitchen items, eating lots of toast, and enjoying dinners out. We've had the opportunity to sleep in one morning, go shopping at Ikea one evening, attend to minor household repairs on another night, and finally get caught up on Glee.
It's been a pleasant respite from parenthood, but we're ready to be reunited with the rugrats. Daddy more so than Mommy. It's been tough on Daddy not being able to even chat over the phone with his darling tots. The first session of Skype ended badly with Aisling sobbing for Mama all evening. Even Devlin who was teary-eyed when we left was crying. Ceilidh didn't seem to be bothered by our absence though. I think that bothered Daddy the most - that he wasn't first and foremost on her mind. Grandma suggested, or rather directed, that there were to be no more communication with the kids since it upset them even more. Grandma did report on a daily basis, though, that the troops were thriving. They were eating well, even consuming almost two pints of strawberries in one sitting. There was lots of hours spent at the park and on their bikes. The children were learning Korean from Grandma too. In fact, the kids were doing so well, I was tempted to leave them in Windsor longer. An idea quickly shot down by Daddy who missed being greeted at the door by his adoring fans.
Our kitchen is coming together quickly. New floors have been put in. The cabinets arrived and they're being installed now. By the end of next week, we'll have all the cabinets in. Hopefully, we'll be able to move the stove and fridges back in too. The countertop will be the last to arrive. In the meantime, we're heading to Windsor to relieve the grandparents and Uncle Billy.
Did I miss my rugrats? While I enjoyed uninterrupted sleep, and the opportunity to read a book or two in peace and quiet, I know I did miss the following:
- being greeted at the door by a little girl dressed in a princess gown and tiara
- having to read "Barbie: a Fairy Secret" every night
- having a new installment of a comic book to read, one created by our budding comic writer, Devlin
- having a little body snuggle up to me in bed, and mostly,
- being showered with kisses