Where does the time go?
Last year, at this time, Quinn was still in diapers, and I had vague notions of toilet training him. Then came September and the realization that he would be going to junior kindergarten the following year. I panicked, and started boot camp potty training my baby. That means no pants and no diapers and setting him on the potty every 30 minutes until he got the idea. And he did - quite quickly, compared to his older siblings. There were a few accidents, but nothing like Miss Aisling's "secret" where she'd hide the soiled underwear in the dirty laundry basket (okay, technically, that's where they belonged, but not in that state) and decline to inform anyone of her accident. There was no hiding in the corner or under a table to go number 2 like his older sister Ceilidh. There were no full on accidents in his underwear that would prompt much cursing from his mother, unlike his older brother Devlin who began to associate *$%** with poop in the underwear.
No, Quinn was quite amenable to toilet training. Ten months later, we've had a few incidents where he waited too long and then became distraught over his "accident". We've also learned the hard way that three juice boxes is one too many for his tummy. To his credit, he did make it to the toilet in time, but the mess he left was one for the record books.
And for some reason, he refuses to stand at the toilet. He prefers to sit, and point his little penis downward. It makes for less mess, except for when he's excited and points to the television instead.
And then there was the time, Mommy had to hold his member down as he needed both hands to balance himself on the huge toilet in the public washroom at the hockey rink. So, there I was, crouched at his level (and very close to disgusting public toilet), holding his pee-pee down and he declares loudly, in the cavernous bathroom, "I love you Mommy" and leans towards me to plant a kiss on my face.
My reaction? "No Quinn, stop, you're going to fall off and pee on Mommy!" He laughed and laughed at the thought.
When I ask him who he belongs to, he always answers "you Mommy" and hugs my legs tightly.
His latest thing? Getting into mischief, or getting caught looking for sweets, and then smiling sweetly and saying "what? I did nothing!" while shrugging his shoulders.
There's barely a month left before he heads off to kindergarten. I'm a little worried - we haven't mastered bum wiping and he really does need a nap during the day. He's not into sandwiches so I haven't a clue as to what will be in his lunch bag.He loves all fruits so maybe we'll just fill his lunch containers with apples, strawberries and grapes. He refuses to drink milk (unless there's chocolate in it) and he still calls it "going to the potty" when he needs the toilet. Daddy's more concerned that no one will understand him given his missing two front teeth. I'm more stressed about his penchant for physical play and his inability to share his toys.
And then there's the classic fall down, kicking his heels and screaming temper tantrums. Very common and normal for a three year old, but not so much for a kid going into kindergarten. His ice skating lessons and foray into gymnastics were cut short by his stubborn streak and refusal to partake in an activity he didn't like. And the fact that I refused to spend another frozen moment at the rink, watching him lie prone on the ice. As for gymnastics, he didn't like to wait for his turn and quickly grew bored with sitting still. Again, not a good sign for school.
He can't quite count past 4 but is cognizant of portion sizes. He can definitely tell when his sister gets a bigger scoop of ice cream.
But he loves to have books read to him, and can recite the story back to you after a few repetitions. He's eager to do "homework" when his older siblings are doing their daily tasks. That's a sign of school readiness, isn't it?
Perhaps, the truth is, that I am not ready to send off my baby to school. He will no longer be my "baby" but my little boy. Soon, the sweet baby scent will be replaced by a slightly stinky sweaty little boy smell. The endless of questions of "why" and what that for" will be replaced with "just cuz" and "later Mom".
Perhaps soon, he'll want to sleep on his own instead of snuggling up next me, or burrowing his little body under my pillow. Then again, perhaps not, since his siblings still need to sleep in Mommy's bed.
Friday, August 7, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
March Madness
No, not the NCAA.
It's March break. When parents of school age children question their sanity. Especially the ones that decided to take time off work to spend the week with their off-spring. And more so, the parents who decided it wasn't in the budget to go somewhere fun and warm but decided to stay-cation and are now regretting that silly decision.
Because if we had gone somewhere fun and warm, at least I'd be having some fun too. Because after what we've spent this week (and we're only halfway through the week), we probably could have flown to some place with sand and sun. Because if we had left our home base, I wouldn't be doing endless loads of laundry and sweeping up crumbs, and refereeing the kids' squabbles over Lego and Xbox time.
It's not that horrible. The week started out promising. The kids are in swimming lessons in the morning. That means they're ravenous for their lunches. A good long shower after the lessons also means we can skip the chaotic bathtime this week.
On Monday, the girls and I went to the Young People's Theatre for the live production of Pinocchio. We were entertained well despite the very uncomfortable seats. The boys spent the afternoon at the Hockey Hall of Fame. Ten bucks at the Bulk Food store bought enough candy to keep them in a sugar high all week. We treated the kids to a meal out. They more or less behaved. We treated ourselves to a couple of pints for not losing a child in the wilds of the GTA.
The next day was a trip to the zoo. It was cold and windy. But the sun was shining and the Beaver Tail shack was open. Armed with a thermos of hot cocoa, we counted penguins and waved at the panda bears. We hadn't been to the zoo all last year so it was touching to watch Quinn's excitement. He shouted to the Sumatran tigers, and tried to wake the slumbering polar bears. He laughed at the baby gorilla and found the giraffe house to be very stinky. He mistook the giant tortoises for turtles, naming them Michaelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello. He was nose to nose with one creature, with only the glass pane separating them.
And since it was St. Patrick's Day, my 1/4 Irish kids celebrated with green cake, complete with green icing and green Leprechaun fairy dust. So despite the fresh air and tons of physical exercise, they were not to eager to fall asleep last night. I ended the day with a pint of Guiness.
Today was another ride on the GO train. Quinn chattered excitedly every time we passed another train. He saw one with Thomas the Train painted on the car. He pointed to Percy and Henry, which were really the engines on our train.
This afternoon, I debated on obtaining a Twitter account. Just so I could rant. Concisely. I could picture the tweets.
#dumbparents - why didn't we save for vacation?
#RipleysAquarium - not a fan. My kids need to pee every 5 min. Is it the water?
#I.hate.ripleys.aquarium - who designs playground in middle of dumbplace?
#RipleyAquariumHater - I need to invest in leash. For kids.
#I.really.hate.ripleys - why so dark? lost a kid or two.
#CNTower.ripoff - I spent how much to ride an elevator? (wait, that should go under #dumbparents)
#CNTower.ripoff - restaurant charges ransom for milk (also applies to #dumbparent)
#MarchMadness - Mommy losing her mind.
I can't believe I just paid more for a glass of milk with my kid's meal than what it costs for 4 litres of the stuff in a grocery store. And if you think, three kids who drink milk with their meal, plus refills - yep, just spent more on their drinks at one meal than I would spend for the entire week's supply for my milk fanatic kids. Yet my beer was reasonably priced.
The whole highway robbery thing is this - what restaurant charges for the drink with the kids' meal??? One that preys upon tourists and dumb parents.
And while I'm still in shock over what this week has cost us so far, my kids are having the time of their lives. They have stated their gratitude at the various outings, and they have smothered us with hugs and kisses. Mostly, I think they're happy to have both mommy and daddy at home with them.
Quinn has been overjoyed every morning, waking up to see me still in bed. "You stay home?" he asks as he climbs on top of me and hugs me tightly. I, too, have enjoyed the extra cuddles.
But the best part about this March madness? It's my first March break, or rather the first time in a very LONG time, that I haven't been burdened with dragging around a diaper bag! Or a stroller. I've managed to spend the day in the GTA with only my purse, filled with a few treats to entice a grumpy child out of a crowded, poorly designed aquarium. Some gummy bears, a lollipop or two, BUT NO EXTRA CLOTHES, DIAPERS, TOYS, SOOTHERS.
Oh the freedom!
It's March break. When parents of school age children question their sanity. Especially the ones that decided to take time off work to spend the week with their off-spring. And more so, the parents who decided it wasn't in the budget to go somewhere fun and warm but decided to stay-cation and are now regretting that silly decision.
Because if we had gone somewhere fun and warm, at least I'd be having some fun too. Because after what we've spent this week (and we're only halfway through the week), we probably could have flown to some place with sand and sun. Because if we had left our home base, I wouldn't be doing endless loads of laundry and sweeping up crumbs, and refereeing the kids' squabbles over Lego and Xbox time.
It's not that horrible. The week started out promising. The kids are in swimming lessons in the morning. That means they're ravenous for their lunches. A good long shower after the lessons also means we can skip the chaotic bathtime this week.
On Monday, the girls and I went to the Young People's Theatre for the live production of Pinocchio. We were entertained well despite the very uncomfortable seats. The boys spent the afternoon at the Hockey Hall of Fame. Ten bucks at the Bulk Food store bought enough candy to keep them in a sugar high all week. We treated the kids to a meal out. They more or less behaved. We treated ourselves to a couple of pints for not losing a child in the wilds of the GTA.
The next day was a trip to the zoo. It was cold and windy. But the sun was shining and the Beaver Tail shack was open. Armed with a thermos of hot cocoa, we counted penguins and waved at the panda bears. We hadn't been to the zoo all last year so it was touching to watch Quinn's excitement. He shouted to the Sumatran tigers, and tried to wake the slumbering polar bears. He laughed at the baby gorilla and found the giraffe house to be very stinky. He mistook the giant tortoises for turtles, naming them Michaelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello. He was nose to nose with one creature, with only the glass pane separating them.
And since it was St. Patrick's Day, my 1/4 Irish kids celebrated with green cake, complete with green icing and green Leprechaun fairy dust. So despite the fresh air and tons of physical exercise, they were not to eager to fall asleep last night. I ended the day with a pint of Guiness.
Today was another ride on the GO train. Quinn chattered excitedly every time we passed another train. He saw one with Thomas the Train painted on the car. He pointed to Percy and Henry, which were really the engines on our train.
This afternoon, I debated on obtaining a Twitter account. Just so I could rant. Concisely. I could picture the tweets.
#dumbparents - why didn't we save for vacation?
#RipleysAquarium - not a fan. My kids need to pee every 5 min. Is it the water?
#I.hate.ripleys.aquarium - who designs playground in middle of dumbplace?
#RipleyAquariumHater - I need to invest in leash. For kids.
#I.really.hate.ripleys - why so dark? lost a kid or two.
#CNTower.ripoff - I spent how much to ride an elevator? (wait, that should go under #dumbparents)
#CNTower.ripoff - restaurant charges ransom for milk (also applies to #dumbparent)
#MarchMadness - Mommy losing her mind.
I can't believe I just paid more for a glass of milk with my kid's meal than what it costs for 4 litres of the stuff in a grocery store. And if you think, three kids who drink milk with their meal, plus refills - yep, just spent more on their drinks at one meal than I would spend for the entire week's supply for my milk fanatic kids. Yet my beer was reasonably priced.
The whole highway robbery thing is this - what restaurant charges for the drink with the kids' meal??? One that preys upon tourists and dumb parents.
And while I'm still in shock over what this week has cost us so far, my kids are having the time of their lives. They have stated their gratitude at the various outings, and they have smothered us with hugs and kisses. Mostly, I think they're happy to have both mommy and daddy at home with them.
Quinn has been overjoyed every morning, waking up to see me still in bed. "You stay home?" he asks as he climbs on top of me and hugs me tightly. I, too, have enjoyed the extra cuddles.
But the best part about this March madness? It's my first March break, or rather the first time in a very LONG time, that I haven't been burdened with dragging around a diaper bag! Or a stroller. I've managed to spend the day in the GTA with only my purse, filled with a few treats to entice a grumpy child out of a crowded, poorly designed aquarium. Some gummy bears, a lollipop or two, BUT NO EXTRA CLOTHES, DIAPERS, TOYS, SOOTHERS.
Oh the freedom!
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Ontario's new sex ed curriculum - This parent's rant
The big news story of the week is the re-vamped sex education curriculum that's been unveiled by the Ontario Liberal government. I've pasted a summary of the new curriculum below.
Some parents are protesting on religious grounds. Some parents are protesting that it goes too far.
I am protesting too. But for a combination of reasons, none of which have to do with religion.
The ministry of education has screwed up its priorities with respect to our children's education.
The school's current educational regime has done away with rote memorization for multiplication tables. Rather, they are utilizing some creative form of math using T-charts to teach basic math skills. Let me tell you, it's NOT working. I spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to re-teach my kid basic math skills. And don't get me started on math journals. I'm not an idiot in math. I've even got a second year university calculus under my belt. My spouse is in finance, for pete's sake, And we can't figure out our kid's absurd math homework. It's not the math we don't understand (we get that mathematics operation is multiplication) - it's the new fangled teaching concept of "patterning" that leaves us banging our heads against the wall.
I can't believe the government, that is the ministry of education, believes it can teach our children about the complicated issue of consent in grades 5-6. When the judiciary and the courts still have difficulty in interpreting consent, how can a 12 year old begin to understand the intricacies of the dynamics that play into the issue of consent.
If the schools can't even be trusted to teach basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and long division, how can I trust that they'll get the complicated concept of consent right?
Then there's the topic relating to sexting. I'd be happy if they could teach children how to spell properly, and not how it sounds. Proper punctuation and correct grammar might save us from the ridiculous 40 character twitter universe. And yes, I'm that parent that once sent back the school letter to parents with my red pen marking up the spelling errors and grammatical mistakes.
Perhaps what is more infuriating is the belief that my children need to learn about anal sex. To me, that's extraneous information at this age. Not required. However, cursive writing is considered to be unnecessary in the current educational guidelines. Really? Last time I checked, our identification documents, like the passport, required a signature. Mortgage documents, bank loans, agreements of sale and purchase - all of these require a signature in ink. Not an electronic signature. Not a thumbprint. Not a retinal scan. But your name, signed in cursive. Yet they don't teach that in schools. Don't even get me started on the fact they don't teach how to read cursive writing.
And here's the thing about anal sex - it's still listed in the Criminal Code as an offence. It may have been declared unconstitutional, but it's still there. So, now the schools will be teaching the kids about technically illegal activities.
I'm not a prude, but I really don't think education about anal and oral intercourse is necessary in grade school. Rather, the energies of the teachers should be spent on fostering positive self-images, being comfortable in one's skin, celebrating the diversities in our world and teaching mutual respect for others. Oh wait, that's what the anti-bullying campaigns were about. And they still haven't licked that problem.
I love that kids in grade one will be learning about facial expressions and tones of voice. Really? Like they haven't figured out that while they were still in diapers?
Frankly speaking, I think children will be traumatized learning about the bodily changes in grade 2. Seven year olds are still trying to figure out how to tie their shoe laces. Now we're going to teach them about getting body hair and boobs?
Whatever happened to trying to preserve the innocence of our babes?
But if we must prepare them for the real world...then how about teaching children about violence in the homes, and how to recognize violence in intimate relationships? It's unbelievable the numbers of young, teen girls who find themselves in abusive relationships but chalk it up to a sign of "love". I'm all for educating children about the dangers of "sexting" and sending explicit photos of oneself to others. But I think gender identity should probably be covered before anal intercourse, given that same sex relationships will be covered in grade 3.
I understand it's important to educate our children about sex and all that it entails. I just can't believe the brain power that's gone into this, when the three r's are suffering abysmally. I get it that even Rhodes scholars and American presidents struggle with the concept of what "sex" is, or isn't. But at least he could write an essay on the topic.
Listening to me rant, my spouse suggested that perhaps I should start attending the school board meetings and protest these changes. After all, we as parents, have to make our voices heard, considering our tax dollars, blah blah blah.
A worthwhile thought.
But I'm too busy trying to teach my kids how to read, write in cursive and do math. You know, all the subjects I send my kids to school to learn.
Grade 1
Students in Grade 1 will be taught the proper names for body parts – something child-abuse investigators have long urged.
They will also learn how to recognize non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, to better communicate with others.
Grade 2
In Grade 2, students will learn about bodily changes and development, verbal and physical violence, and the concept that “no means no.”
Grades 3-4
Grade 3 students will learn about same-sex relationships, while the physical, emotional and social impacts of puberty will move from Grade 5 to Grade 4.
Grades 5-6
In Grade 5, students will continue learning about puberty, including menstruation and spermatogenesis, and how these processes relate to reproduction.
Students in Grade 6 will learn about masturbation and “gender expression.” They will also be educated on how to build healthy relationships and consent.
Grades 7-8
In Grades 7-8, students will learn about the dangers of “sexting.”
They will also discuss contraception, anal and oral sex, and ways to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
Grades 9-10
Teaching materials on mental health, previously relegated to older grades, will be introduced in Grade 9. Grade 9 students will also explore gender identity, sexual orientation and the resources available for support.
In Grade 10, students will continue to learn what factors influence sexual decision-making, including personal values, peer and family expectations, and media messages.
Under the current sex education program, Grades 9 and 10 students focus on promoting healthy sexuality, preventing sexually transmitted infections, and identifying the stages of sexuality.
Grades 11-12
Similarly to the existing program, students in Grades 11 and 12 will focus on how to use decision-making skills to create healthy relationships.
They will also learn about reducing the stigma around mental illness, and taking proactive health measures
I am protesting too. But for a combination of reasons, none of which have to do with religion.
The ministry of education has screwed up its priorities with respect to our children's education.
The school's current educational regime has done away with rote memorization for multiplication tables. Rather, they are utilizing some creative form of math using T-charts to teach basic math skills. Let me tell you, it's NOT working. I spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to re-teach my kid basic math skills. And don't get me started on math journals. I'm not an idiot in math. I've even got a second year university calculus under my belt. My spouse is in finance, for pete's sake, And we can't figure out our kid's absurd math homework. It's not the math we don't understand (we get that mathematics operation is multiplication) - it's the new fangled teaching concept of "patterning" that leaves us banging our heads against the wall.
I can't believe the government, that is the ministry of education, believes it can teach our children about the complicated issue of consent in grades 5-6. When the judiciary and the courts still have difficulty in interpreting consent, how can a 12 year old begin to understand the intricacies of the dynamics that play into the issue of consent.
If the schools can't even be trusted to teach basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and long division, how can I trust that they'll get the complicated concept of consent right?
Then there's the topic relating to sexting. I'd be happy if they could teach children how to spell properly, and not how it sounds. Proper punctuation and correct grammar might save us from the ridiculous 40 character twitter universe. And yes, I'm that parent that once sent back the school letter to parents with my red pen marking up the spelling errors and grammatical mistakes.
Perhaps what is more infuriating is the belief that my children need to learn about anal sex. To me, that's extraneous information at this age. Not required. However, cursive writing is considered to be unnecessary in the current educational guidelines. Really? Last time I checked, our identification documents, like the passport, required a signature. Mortgage documents, bank loans, agreements of sale and purchase - all of these require a signature in ink. Not an electronic signature. Not a thumbprint. Not a retinal scan. But your name, signed in cursive. Yet they don't teach that in schools. Don't even get me started on the fact they don't teach how to read cursive writing.
And here's the thing about anal sex - it's still listed in the Criminal Code as an offence. It may have been declared unconstitutional, but it's still there. So, now the schools will be teaching the kids about technically illegal activities.
I'm not a prude, but I really don't think education about anal and oral intercourse is necessary in grade school. Rather, the energies of the teachers should be spent on fostering positive self-images, being comfortable in one's skin, celebrating the diversities in our world and teaching mutual respect for others. Oh wait, that's what the anti-bullying campaigns were about. And they still haven't licked that problem.
I love that kids in grade one will be learning about facial expressions and tones of voice. Really? Like they haven't figured out that while they were still in diapers?
Frankly speaking, I think children will be traumatized learning about the bodily changes in grade 2. Seven year olds are still trying to figure out how to tie their shoe laces. Now we're going to teach them about getting body hair and boobs?
Whatever happened to trying to preserve the innocence of our babes?
But if we must prepare them for the real world...then how about teaching children about violence in the homes, and how to recognize violence in intimate relationships? It's unbelievable the numbers of young, teen girls who find themselves in abusive relationships but chalk it up to a sign of "love". I'm all for educating children about the dangers of "sexting" and sending explicit photos of oneself to others. But I think gender identity should probably be covered before anal intercourse, given that same sex relationships will be covered in grade 3.
I understand it's important to educate our children about sex and all that it entails. I just can't believe the brain power that's gone into this, when the three r's are suffering abysmally. I get it that even Rhodes scholars and American presidents struggle with the concept of what "sex" is, or isn't. But at least he could write an essay on the topic.
Listening to me rant, my spouse suggested that perhaps I should start attending the school board meetings and protest these changes. After all, we as parents, have to make our voices heard, considering our tax dollars, blah blah blah.
A worthwhile thought.
But I'm too busy trying to teach my kids how to read, write in cursive and do math. You know, all the subjects I send my kids to school to learn.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Happy Family Day
It's minus 30 or something incredibly, ridiculously cold that is mind blowing, or rather mind freezing...
My house is a hive of activity. Between one whining child, another half-heartedly practising piano, one running around shooting suction cup arrows and another moping about the lack of stuff to do (homework? read a book? clean up your bedroom?)...I. Am. Trying. Really. Hard. To. Enjoy. This. Family. Day.
In the past, we've done the zoo, the science centre, the city sponsored events - all complete with crowds, screaming children, crying babies and grumbling parents.
Family Day is really a birth control method put on by the government. This holiday they've given us to enjoy time off with our families. Really, after a day of fighting the crowds at the "family fun" events is enough to make one swear off at having any more children. Too bad, it's a too little, too late for me. Hah...just kidding....I really am loving having one day of the year that I can sleep in and wake up to a little boy cuddling me and happily chattering away because "Mommy not going to work".
I am sipping a gigantic cup of freshly brewed coffee with a healthy dose of Irish Cream, debating on whether -30 is too cold to venture out for ice skating, or if I can simply throw the kids outside, bundled up in their freshly laundered snowsuits. Just read a frostbite warning on the weather network. Okay, I guess that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. Need to think of another family friendly activity.
I need more Bailey's.
It's still too cold to venture out. Daddy gets brilliant idea to work on this school assignments and homework. Lots of whining. Lots of hair pulling (us) as we try to explain right angle and polygons, and sounding out words.
I need more Bailey's. And I've run out of coffee.
Happy Family Day.
My house is a hive of activity. Between one whining child, another half-heartedly practising piano, one running around shooting suction cup arrows and another moping about the lack of stuff to do (homework? read a book? clean up your bedroom?)...I. Am. Trying. Really. Hard. To. Enjoy. This. Family. Day.
In the past, we've done the zoo, the science centre, the city sponsored events - all complete with crowds, screaming children, crying babies and grumbling parents.
Family Day is really a birth control method put on by the government. This holiday they've given us to enjoy time off with our families. Really, after a day of fighting the crowds at the "family fun" events is enough to make one swear off at having any more children. Too bad, it's a too little, too late for me. Hah...just kidding....I really am loving having one day of the year that I can sleep in and wake up to a little boy cuddling me and happily chattering away because "Mommy not going to work".
I am sipping a gigantic cup of freshly brewed coffee with a healthy dose of Irish Cream, debating on whether -30 is too cold to venture out for ice skating, or if I can simply throw the kids outside, bundled up in their freshly laundered snowsuits. Just read a frostbite warning on the weather network. Okay, I guess that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. Need to think of another family friendly activity.
I need more Bailey's.
It's still too cold to venture out. Daddy gets brilliant idea to work on this school assignments and homework. Lots of whining. Lots of hair pulling (us) as we try to explain right angle and polygons, and sounding out words.
I need more Bailey's. And I've run out of coffee.
Happy Family Day.
All boy
Having two kids of each gender, I am more convinced that it's all nature, and not nurture.
Case in point:
The other night, Quinn is walking around with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. His one hand appear to be scratching at an itch, on his backside. And his hand is in his pants.
Me: Are you itchy? (thinking it could be a rash, or maybe another patch of eczema given the cold weather)
Quinn: Nope.
Me: Then get your hand out of your pants.
Quinn: Okay. (Stated with a devilish grin.)
Me: Why is your hand in your pants?
Quinn: It's not! It's in my bum! See! (as he pulls his offending hand out)
Then he runs up to me, asks "Wanna smell?"
Me: Gross! No!
Quinn: smells like poop?! Hahahaha! (laughs uproariously)
Me: Really? This is what makes you laugh?
Quinn: Yup! Haahahaha....Mommy, come here! (chasing me around the house with his hand stuck out)
Yup, my two girls would NEVER have done this.
Case in point:
The other night, Quinn is walking around with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. His one hand appear to be scratching at an itch, on his backside. And his hand is in his pants.
Me: Are you itchy? (thinking it could be a rash, or maybe another patch of eczema given the cold weather)
Quinn: Nope.
Me: Then get your hand out of your pants.
Quinn: Okay. (Stated with a devilish grin.)
Me: Why is your hand in your pants?
Quinn: It's not! It's in my bum! See! (as he pulls his offending hand out)
Then he runs up to me, asks "Wanna smell?"
Me: Gross! No!
Quinn: smells like poop?! Hahahaha! (laughs uproariously)
Me: Really? This is what makes you laugh?
Quinn: Yup! Haahahaha....Mommy, come here! (chasing me around the house with his hand stuck out)
Yup, my two girls would NEVER have done this.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
I'm not READY...
I bet you thought I was going to write I wasn't ready for Christmas, right? Well, that's true I'm not, but that's not what's causing me stress. There's still 5 weeks of shopping time for the big day.
No, I'm NOT ready to answer queries about the birds and the bees, from my 8 year old!
I'd much rather answer questions about, well anything else, but last night, Ceilidh asked me "what's a period?"
I tried to play dumb, even though I had a sinking feeling where this was going.
"A period is the punctuation mark at the end of a sentence," I answered nonchalantly.
"No, I know that. But what else is a period?" she asked again.
Feeling the stress of having to explain puberty and the changes to expect to an 8 year old (my 10 year old has remained completely uninterested in this topic thus far), I tried another answer.
"It's a span of time, like a hockey period, or an era in history."
This did not satisfy Ceilidh.
"Isn't there a kind of period that makes your stomach hurt?" she asked.
"Why are you asking me?" I tried a different tactic, hoping to uncover the reason for the sudden interest, while wondering how old I was when I read the Judy Blume classic, Are you there God? It's me Margaret.
"The girls at dance class were talking about it, and it's supposed to happen when you're older. I think you should tell Devlin because he's older than me, and he'll need to know what a period is," she stated.
It took me a moment or two to compose myself before I could look at my daughter, and say, quite calmly and emphatically, "Ceilidh, when you are ready, I will explain the third definition of a period, You're not there yet. And you have a few years still, And furthermore, Devlin doesn't need to worry because the third definition of a period? It only affects girls."
I think she was satisfied with that answer, and I've got another 18 months, maybe, before I have to give the lecture on the birds and the bees.
No, I'm NOT ready to answer queries about the birds and the bees, from my 8 year old!
I'd much rather answer questions about, well anything else, but last night, Ceilidh asked me "what's a period?"
I tried to play dumb, even though I had a sinking feeling where this was going.
"A period is the punctuation mark at the end of a sentence," I answered nonchalantly.
"No, I know that. But what else is a period?" she asked again.
Feeling the stress of having to explain puberty and the changes to expect to an 8 year old (my 10 year old has remained completely uninterested in this topic thus far), I tried another answer.
"It's a span of time, like a hockey period, or an era in history."
This did not satisfy Ceilidh.
"Isn't there a kind of period that makes your stomach hurt?" she asked.
"Why are you asking me?" I tried a different tactic, hoping to uncover the reason for the sudden interest, while wondering how old I was when I read the Judy Blume classic, Are you there God? It's me Margaret.
"The girls at dance class were talking about it, and it's supposed to happen when you're older. I think you should tell Devlin because he's older than me, and he'll need to know what a period is," she stated.
It took me a moment or two to compose myself before I could look at my daughter, and say, quite calmly and emphatically, "Ceilidh, when you are ready, I will explain the third definition of a period, You're not there yet. And you have a few years still, And furthermore, Devlin doesn't need to worry because the third definition of a period? It only affects girls."
I think she was satisfied with that answer, and I've got another 18 months, maybe, before I have to give the lecture on the birds and the bees.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Ceilidh's Christmas Wish List
On the nearly hour long drive up to Brownie camp, I idly questioned Ceilidh about her wish list for Christmas. It was an enlightening conversation, and if I could compose her letter to Santa, it would go like this:
Dear Santa,
I really really really want a Fur Real dog - the ones that bark and has a leash but isn't real. My mom won't let me get a real live puppy because she says I won't clean up the poop. I promised I would, but she doesn't believe me.
Also I want a music player - I think it's called an MP3. My brother Devlin wants one too. But do your elves make electronic things? I know they can make toys, but can they do stuff with headphones?
I also would like a new scooter. I'm 8 years old, and 8 year olds do NOT ride Barbie scooters. Like the one I have. Besides, it's broken. My old one. My dad broke it - he tried to ride it or something.
My sister Aisling would like a scooter too - the kind you sit one even though Mommy says those are for babies.
But I'd really really really want an Ever After High Thronecoming Briar Rose doll. I've told Mommy that Ever After High is way better than Barbie dolls, They have more moving parts. Barbie dolls' arms don't move.
I think there's other stuff too. Like a slushie maker so that we can make slushies for my dad.
My little brother Quinn could use more cars, even though he has a million. He does like Planes Fire and Rescue. And Ninja Turtles.
Devlin wants Lego anything.
And, if I can't get the Fur Real, I would like the Beanie stuffies with the really big eyes. The Christmas penguin stuffie.
I think that's all.
I hope you're not too busy.
Thanks,
Ceilidh
Dear Santa,
I really really really want a Fur Real dog - the ones that bark and has a leash but isn't real. My mom won't let me get a real live puppy because she says I won't clean up the poop. I promised I would, but she doesn't believe me.
Also I want a music player - I think it's called an MP3. My brother Devlin wants one too. But do your elves make electronic things? I know they can make toys, but can they do stuff with headphones?
I also would like a new scooter. I'm 8 years old, and 8 year olds do NOT ride Barbie scooters. Like the one I have. Besides, it's broken. My old one. My dad broke it - he tried to ride it or something.
My sister Aisling would like a scooter too - the kind you sit one even though Mommy says those are for babies.
But I'd really really really want an Ever After High Thronecoming Briar Rose doll. I've told Mommy that Ever After High is way better than Barbie dolls, They have more moving parts. Barbie dolls' arms don't move.
I think there's other stuff too. Like a slushie maker so that we can make slushies for my dad.
My little brother Quinn could use more cars, even though he has a million. He does like Planes Fire and Rescue. And Ninja Turtles.
Devlin wants Lego anything.
And, if I can't get the Fur Real, I would like the Beanie stuffies with the really big eyes. The Christmas penguin stuffie.
I think that's all.
I hope you're not too busy.
Thanks,
Ceilidh
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