Kids and computers

The other day, Ceilidh asked, "When I'm ten years old, will you buy me a phone and a computer?"

Clearly expecting that I would simply agree as I usually do whenever they see a toy commercial on television to keep disagreements to a minimum, she was taken aback when I said "no". (I don't actually buy any of the requested toys, nor do I think the kids really expect us to either. Or maybe they do, and we have a bunch of eternal optimists on our hands.)

"Why not? Everyone else has one."

Deciding not to use the "if everyone jumped off the bridge, would you" approach, I decided to explain why her parents would not be jumping on the electronic gizmo bandwagon.

"Ceilidh, Mommy and Daddy will always get you whatever you need. If you need new clothes, or books, or sports equipment, we will gladly buy it for you. But at ten, or even thirteen, you do not and will not NEED a phone or your own computer," I stated firmly.

She immediately flew into a temper tantrum that involved feet stomping and tears and shouts of "You're not nice and I won't listen to you anymore". That earned her a trip to the naughty stool and a time-out.

Which simply reinforced Mommy's and Daddy's resolve not to purchase the latest computer toy, electronic gizmo, hand-held, battery operated device for their brood of monkeys. It also reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend earlier in the year regarding computer games and whether or not we allowed Devlin to play games on the Internet. We don't, generally speaking.
It's not that we're dinosaurs when it comes to technology. While we may not possess the latest tablet or the newest smart phone, we do know of their existence. In fact, once the contract ends on my current phone, I'm planning on getting a smartphone. We simply don't believe actively encouraging our children to partake in electronic past times. We don't have a Wii (despite Daddy's begging and pleading) or a game system. Devlin does not own a PS2 or DS or whatever. Our philosophy is that our kids get enough exposure to the screen as is, that we don't need to add to it by making their play time revolve around the television or computer. The kids know we have a computer, and Devlin is learning about navigating the web at school. There are a few websites we allow him to access, under our direct supervision. Occasionally, we'll monitor a few games from teletoon.com or barbie.com but it's a rare treat.
Instead of playing chess on the computer, we'd rather the kids learn the basics of the game by playing the board game. It's about learning to take turns too, and not cheating when you play Battleship or Monopoly with your siblings. We'd rather they play with their toys and exercise their imagination instead of having graphic images ingrained into their brains from playing video games. While some proponents may argue that Wii Fit encourages movement, it's not the same as letting the children run outside and jump through piles of leaves.
Computers are all around us. Most of us use them at work or at home on a daily basis. Our laptop sits in the kitchen so I can access the emails and recipes.  There's no avoiding technology in today's world. But we don't need to actively encourage its role in children's lives. Rather than relying on spellcheck, we should be teaching children the basics of phonics. Instead of social networking sites, we need to foster the basics of cooperation, being polite, and what it means to be a "friend" on a day-to-day, face-to-face situation.
More importantly, we need to teach our children that it's okay to be bored sometimes. They need to learn how to entertain themselves WITHOUT a cell phone or miniature game system in their hands. That having an active imagination is an asset. Reading books is becoming a rare past time with many children because of the prevalence of video games. Numerous studies have shown, particularly with boys, that more time spent with video games translated to an exponential decrease in time spent reading books. That's even without taking into account the violence often associated with video games, which opens up a whole other can of worms.
It makes me nutty when I see parents put on the portable DVD player for a quick trip to the grocery store. Really? You can't talk to your child for the 5 minute drive. Or more disturbing, your child needs to be entertained for that short period of time?
So, for all of the above reasons and more (I'm not even getting into the safety aspect of allowing children to access social networking sites), my dear children, do NOT expect an electronic or computer gaming system under the Christmas tree this year.