I've been hosting several play dates lately. It seems like every weekend, we have an extra little person running around the house. It may seem crazy to the uninitiated, that I - 9.5 months pregnant and impatient for the arrival of baby #4 - would welcome the presence of another child, not related to me, in my home. But, as I've discovered, with the right age group and the right playmate, the play dates are really for the adults.
When the kids were little, and not yet crawling, these play dates were thinly disguised as mommy get-togethers. An opportunity to chat with an adult about something other than whose turn it was to change the poopy diaper or argue whose turn it was to lug another load of laundry down the stairs. As the babies slept in their car seats or cooed contently, the afternoon meetings were a chance to commiserate over the lack of quality sleep, lack of understanding spouses, and the baby weight that was not coming off as easily as it did for the Hollywood moms. We moms would exchange tips on dealing with diaper, discuss the best places for sales and exchange recipes for quick and easy meals.
As the babies became toddlers and more mobile, playdates became more of a rarity as it was difficult to complete a sentence with another without being interrupted to chase after an overly curious walker or intervene a tug-of-war over a toy. Play dates with pre-schoolers can also be tough with little egos and the fickle quality of children. How quickly "my bestest friend" becomes "she's not the boss of me" and "he won't share!"
But now that my monkeys are a bit older and more capable of entertaining themselves and their friends, I have discovered play dates are a wonderful opportunity to get a some chores done without having to listen to the age old refrain of "I'm bored - I have nothing to do!" On one recent afternoon, I managed to prepare three days' worth of meals and do two loads of laundry while keeping an eye and ear on Ceilidh, Aisling and their two friends. A light snack halfway through the afternoon and popping in a DVD towards the end was all that I was really required to do. And the parents of the playmates scored an unexpected afternoon for early Christmas shopping.
My one rule, generally, for play dates is that only one child gets to host a friend at a time. So one afternoon, Devlin gets to invite a friend. The next weekend, it's Ceilidh's turn. That way, I am definitely insured of a conflict-free afternoon which enables me to get some chores done, and enjoy a coffee while everyone else is occupied.
I would think it's a win-win situation for everyone. The parents of the invitee (who almost always are more than happy to accept on behalf of their child) get a few free hours to themselves, I also get free entertainment for a child, and the kids score an afternoon of fun.
But alas, there are some parents out there who are NOT so cool with an invitation for an afternoon of play fun. One day I received a phone call from a concerned parent who was not happy about the invitation. Apparently, Devlin had invited a classmate over for the weekend. This particular classmate's mother called to say she knew nothing of the invitation until her son told her about it ( I didn't realize I had to issue a formal invite on paper!) and had to get our phone number from another parent. When I asked if there was a problem, she indicated her son was allergic to peanuts. My response was there wouldn't be an issue with that since Devlin is also allergic to peanuts, so we have a peanut-free household. Then came the crux of her hesitation - she was uncomfortable with the idea of letting her "baby go" and that they normally don't do "these things". Whatever. The "baby" is now in grade two and if you don't do play dates, then fine. Although, I distinctly recall this particular "baby" being present at another classmate's home when Devlin went over for a play date. So, I graciously offered her an out. I tactfully suggested she call back the next day to set up a drop-off time, and then I hung up. She never called back, which was fine with me. Then I remembered that this was the same woman who informed me she didn't have an epi-pen for her son with the peanut allergies when Devlin invited him to his birthday party. Talk about negligence! Especially given her concern for her "baby". But since her son really wanted to attend Devlin's birthday party, I had to assure the lady that the party was being held at a nut-free facility, we had peanut allergies in our own family, and we would have an epi-pen on site - just in case!
Other than that unfortunate episode, weekend play dates have been an economical method of providing entertainment for my kids, and given us the chance to assess their friends. The only complaint from our kids have been the clean up of toys afterwards. It seems that some parents haven't taught their kids to help clean up the toys when they're done playing!
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