Thursday, August 15, 2013

No child slave labour here!

In the days of yore, rural families had large numbers of children. All to serve one purpose – to share in the grueling demands of the farm chores without having to pay the labour. While we don’t have a farm, we certainly try to model that idea of free labour. There’s no such thing as allowance in our home. Probably because with four growing kids, one of whom is a bottomless pit, their constant need for bigger clothes and shoes, and the various extra-curricular activities the said four are involved in, there’s not much left-over to pay an allowance, even a measly one. So, instead we ascribe to the true spirit of communism, where each individual is assigned a certain role in the household, and all is done for the better good or health of the larger family unit. In other words, our children have chores, and they don’t get paid for it. When they complain about having to clean up a mess that wasn’t created by them (shocking!), I remind them I didn’t wear their dirty clothes, but I washed them. If the table isn’t set, then dinner isn’t served. Clean laundry is folded by an adult, but the wearer of the articles of clothing as tasked with putting them away. Soon, folding laundry will be added to their to-do list. Even Quinn has a job – putting his dirty laundry in his hamper and tossing his soiled diapers in the garbage.
And it makes sense to me that they don’t get paid to do this. After all, I don’t get paid to prepare their meals and clean up. Their dad doesn’t get paid to haul out the garbage and recycling. So these costly dependents shouldn’t get paid to make their beds in the morning. As you can tell, I view allowance as payment for the everyday tasks that we should all do without expecting compensation. Some might argue that allowance teaches children money management and responsibility at a young age. Maybe that’s a valid point seeing as how my kids like toss their tooth fairy coins around the house. In fact, I’ve managed to buy a few coffees simply by sweeping up the loose change around their piggy banks. Finders keepers, right? Okay, I’m not cheap. I usually just chuck the change into the nearest piggy, but I think that’s how Aisling (who still has all her teeth) has gotten rich recently.
I think I’ll leave the money  management lessons to later in their childhoods, like when they’re teenagers and earning some dollars with after-school jobs. It’s always way more meaningful when they’ve actually worked outside the home (not employed by Mom and Dad) for it.
Last night, Daddy decided to put the extra hands we have around our zoo to use. He brought down a large bag of loose change and some coin rolling paper.
Daddy: Who would like to help me count all this money and roll it up? It’ll be fun!
Aisling: Okay! (very enthusiastic)
Devlin: No way. That sounds boring. And you’re just trying to get us to do your work.
Daddy: Well, how about if I pay you one dollar after all the coins are rolled?
Ceilidh (face all wrinkled in disgust): One dollar?! No way! Maybe if you gave me two dollars, I’d do it.
Daddy: Well, you drive a hard bargain. But okay, I’ll give you each $2. That’s some great negotiating.
Aisling: How about five?
Daddy: No way. I’m holding at two.


I finally looked up, after wiping the tears from eyes, and wondered, “Will you have any money left to deposit in a bank after paying out for the labour?”

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