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Last week, I committed the biggest sin for a boy. I tried to hold his hand. And caused sheer amounts of embarrassment to my soon-to-be 10 year old.
In my defence, it was dusk, and raining, and we were about to cross a dimly lit parking lot. As we prepared to sprint to the car, I did what has become second nature to me over the past decade. My hand automatically reached out to grab Devlin's little paw. I kept grasping air. I finally looked down to see what the problem was, and there he was, feet glued to the pavement, and a look of horror and utter disbelief on his freckled face. It dawned on me then. We were leaving Cubs, and his friends were nearby. None of them were holding their parents' hands. And he's growing up. So, I urged him forward with a pat on his back and we took off.
Was it just a few years ago when he would always reach for my hand when we walked? It seems like just yesterday when he would hold onto my legs and cry, refusing to go into his kindergarten class. Now he gives me a fist bump at the boundary of the school grounds. The first time I left him for a few days with my parents, he cried while pacing the house looking for me. Last year, when I dropped him off for his first overnight camping trip, he gave me a shrug hug. The kind where he brushed up against me, shrugged his shoulders and his arms kind of, sort of came up around my waist for a nanosecond before he quickly stepped away.
But I got a nice surprise this morning. I'll be away for the next three days at a conference. And yes, I won't lie, I have been counting the hours. Of course, I'll miss the monkeys, but I won't miss the 45 minute long temper tantrums, the arguments, the nagging to get their homework done, the begging to get them to eat their meals. It'll be a nice break.
I walked the kids to school, and reminded them to be good and listen to Arlyn and Daddy. We counted down how many days before Aisling would see Mommy. I promised to pick them up from school on Friday. At the school, Ceilidh gave me a long hug and a kiss. Aisling and I shared several hugs and kisses and waved goodbye for many long minutes. And to my utter surprise and delight, Devlin didn't do his usual props with me. He gave me a hug. Not a shrug hug, but a proper hug. And I didn't have to ask for it!