Devlin's summer of mishaps

It seems like every week that Devlin has had an "accident" or some form of injury.
The first week of summer, there was a bee sting. Or maybe it was a wasp. He's not allergic to insect bites but it kiboshed the afternoon outing to the splash pad because of his hysterics.
Then he tripped over his own two feet, running into the living room. I heard a crash, and then a piercing scream that had my mother and me dropping everything to run over. Devlin was curled up in the fetal position, hands clamped over his eye. When I was able to pry away his hands, there was gigantic bump that appeared to grow larger by the second. An hour or two with the ice pack kept the swelling down, but the black eye was a beauty.
Then the next week, he managed to scrape a good chunk of skin off his heel. How?
Well, in an effort to be creative while recycling, my dear children used the large piece of cardboard from the basketball net backboard and fashioned a triangular shaped tube. They taped it together with duct tape. Then they crawled into the tube and slid down the slide in the backyard.
Yup. He caught his foot on the edge of the slide and cardboard. Maybe he could have avoided the injury if he he had worn shoes.
So he missed his hockey game because it hurt to put on the skates.
I would have thought that would have been enough to teach my kid a lesson.
I was wrong.
The following week, I arrived home one evening to be confronted by Devlin at the door, pulling down his lower lip so I could see the cut up mess he had.
"How?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer, lest it involved having to discipline his younger sisters for being too rough.
Apparently, he banged his lower face, when sliding down, head first, in the STUPID CARDBOARD TUBE!
I looked at my hapless child, my first born for whom I had so many hopes and dreams, and quite calmly, quoted my favorite line from Forrest Gump,  "Stupid is as stupid does".