Happy New Year!

It's that time of the year again, where we reflect on the past 12 months, and start to draw up a new list of resolutions for the next 12. I know my husband's list will be same as last year's - lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, spend more time with the kids, don't get too stressed about work, etc etc.

Instead of working on my list, I've decided to procrastinate by drawing up a list of resolutions for my kids.

For Devlin, I would resolve that he stop having pee-pee accidents, stop sassing back to his parents, stop whining, and learn how to read.

For Ceilidh, her new year's resolution list would include not tackling/pinching/kicking Devlin whenever they have a difference of opinions, play more gently with Aisling, try eating at least one vegetable at dinner without fuss and pick up her toys upon being asked once, not ten times.

Aisling isn't quite 2, so her resolutions are simple. Sometime before the end of 2010, she will be potty trained, give up the soother and continue eating as well as she does. Oh, and stop pulling on Mommy's hair to get her attention.

Well, upon reviewing these resolutions, I've realized it's just made my list even longer, since I've got to incorporate all of their goals into my own. Do I have a list to "better myself" in 2010? Sure. It's simple. I am going to resolve to be more patient with the kids (very hard to do), be more loving to my spouse (also hard when said spouse is driving me up the wall and doesn't respond to requests which then leads to repeated requests, or more commonly referred to as "nagging" by all husbands), be more effective at work (probably the most attainable of my goals), and keep a less cluttered house (that should really be my husband's resolution).
Of course, it's easy to write down these goals, but the hard part is figuring out how to attain them. Should I read more parenting articles? Go on more "date nights" with husband? Ignore spouse's failure to complete a chore and just do it myself? Take more days off work so I can walk my kids to school? Pick my battles and let there be at least one day of the week where the kids get to eat whatever they want so there are no dinnertime battles? Embrace the dust bunnies and cobwebs that inhabit our house, and revel in the chaos that reigns in our home?
I've got the rest of the year to figure this out, so I'll keep you all updated. In the meantime, from our home to yours, we wish you all the best for a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010!

Christmas 2009

While December 25th has come and gone, it's still Christmas holidays, so I can still blog about the season. We're spending the holidays in Windsor (my hometown) with my family, as we usually do, and enjoying every minute of it. There's been many memorable moments (and some, not so much, like Aisling getting car sick on the drive down, and throwing up all over her new outfit. Don't ask why I would even think about putting her in a cute new outfit for the trip. Obviously, not thinking. But now, we're seriously considering draping a garbage bag over her whenever we embark on car trips.)
Here are a few of "snapshots" of Christmas 2009:

- Devlin announcing that he will give another new toy to a child without toys this Christmas.

- Picture all three kids staring with eyes as wide as saucers at the Christmas tree and all of the presents underneath. And then a curious hand that reached out to grab a bulb, and lo and behold, the ornaments are not plastic! One crying infant and glass shards everywhere!

- At the Christmas Eve candlelight service, there were plastic candles that actually lit up for the children to hold. Aisling promptly stuck her's in her mouth, and her face glowed, like a radioactive alien.

- At the same Christmas Eve service, Ceilidh spent almost the entire time sitting on Uncle Billy's lap and showered him with kisses and hugs.

- Santa's letter to the children stated the cookies and milk were quite yummy, but he was unable to finish eating all of the cookies because poor Rudolph wouldn't be able to pull the sleigh! Devlin, eyes wide with awe, said, "Rudolph is for real!"

- I was pleasantly surprised at the restraint the children displayed at having to wait to open the gifts until after Christmas brunch was eaten. Stockings were opened upon waking, and there were lots and lots of candy and chocolates in the stockings. Everytime we turned around, Ceilidh had yet another chocolate or candy in her mouth. We thought we had taken away all of the candy, but she still manages to find more!

- It was a pleasure to watch the sheer excitement all the children displayed as they opened each gift. It didn't matter if the wrapping paper gave away to a toy or to pyjamas or socks, the happiness beamed from every pore of their bodies. Aisling even started to undress halfway through the presents to put on her new pjs and socks.

- Devlin, after unwrapping two sets of Lego, turned to his uncle, and asked, "Uncle Billy, will you play with me after and help me make all of these toys?" How could Uncle Billy resist? After all the packages had been opened, and the wrapping paper cleared away, Bill headed to the basement while stating "Going to go play with my best friend."

- Mommy received a "slap chopper", just like the ones "as seen on TV". Devlin viewed the commercial and was sold on the idea as a great gift for Mommy as it would help her with all the cooking, so he badgered Daddy to take him to the mall to purchase one Slap Chopper. I think it will not only help me in food preparation, but it will also aid in taking out my frustrations with children!

- Ceilidh poured many cups of tea for Uncle Nowell with her princess tea set. She may have served some cookies and cake too.

- Aisling practised her new phrase "No Way!" whenever she was asked to leave Mommy's lap, or give Mommy 5 minutes to shower/get dressed/finish a cup of coffee/ or generally detach herself from Mommy.

- Ceilidh informed her grandmother that only her Daddy knew how to say bedtime prayers. She was the only one awake when Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Billy and Auntie Grace went out to the movies. She had a blast watching DVDs with Grandma, and when it was time for prayers, she was quite adamant that Grandma didn't know how to do prayers.

- Aisling pooped on the bathroom rug after getting out of the bath, much to Uncle Billy's horrified disgust.

- We took Devlin and Ceilidh ice skating at an outdoor rink. Despite their obvious excitement about the activity and their impatience to arrive at the rink, Devlin sulked once on the ice, and Ceilidh decided she didn't like it. Devlin wanted Daddy's attention all to himself. Ceilidh cried, with tears rolling down her face, that it was too cold and she wanted to go home. Which was fine with me, as my back ached from bending over to hold her up on the ice. However, she stopped her tears upon spying some other skaters enjoying french fries. "I smell food! I'm hungry!"

- While Grandma may not have spoiled the grandkids with presents, she spoiled them by catering to whatever food urge they displayed. It's the holidays, and apparently, that means no one has to eat a vegetable if they don't want to. Ceilidh has consumed numerous packets of roasted seaweed, rice and instant ramen noodles, all followed by chocolate cake or Christmas cookies. Devlin has eaten croissants every morning, accompanied by mini hot dogs. And bacon every morning for Ceilidh!

- When asked why we celebrate Christmas, we tried to explain to Devlin that it was Jesus's birthday. Why is it Christmas every year? We answered that just like every June 18 is Devlin's birthday, every Christmas is Jesus' birthday, so it's like a birthday party for the Baby Jesus. Well then, Devlin wanted to know how God fit into the whole Christmas story. Jesus is God's son. Having bypassed the story about Mary and Joseph, and the angel Gabriel, and the trip to Bethlehem, Devlin's next question was "Who was God's wife? If Jesus is God's son, then who did God marry?" That left us stumped as how to answer that, so we told him to ask his grandfather, a retired minister, who would know all the answers.

And after all the holiday excesses and craziness and stress, it was Devlin who reminded us of the true meaning of this season. When asked what Christmas was about, he answered with conviction, "It's all about loving and sharing!"

Merry Christmas to All and To All, a Good Night!

Mmmm...bacon...

The other morning I was accosted by Ceilidh. As I made my way into the kitchen, she threw herself at me, and hugged my legs with her famous strangling "Ceilidh" hugs, and shouted, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Thank you for what?"
"Thank you for buying bacon! I am so excited! I love you!"

Wow! We have bacon every Sunday morning, with the pancakes that Daddy cook up. And yes, Ceilidh does love her bacon, but what a grateful, enthusiastic, appreciative response.

Child - you are getting bacon in your stocking this Christmas!

Maybe we're not so bad as parents!

When we despair about our performance as parents, there are little moments that illustrate to us, that maybe, we're not doing so bad.
Last night, Devlin woke up in the middle of the night, crying because his feet were cold. We think they're numb and he's feeling pins and needles. The doctors suggest it's growing pains. (Really? Cuz he ain't growing so much!) He woke up several times, and I am exhausted! But there he was, crying and whimpering. The commotion woke up Aisling. She crawled out of bed, toddled over to Devlin, and upon seeing how upset he was, she tried to give him a hug and comfort her older brother.
When we were at the in-law's last night for the Christmas celebration, I watched my son ask for a bowl to eat his fruit and then take the bowl and fork and put it in the kitchen sink when he was finished. He also decided to clean up all the toys in Grandma's basement before supper rather than wait until much later. Of course, his reasoning was that he was going to play with his new toys that he was getting for Christmas after supper. Still, it was refreshing to see Devlin, Ceilidh and Aisling clean up the toys with minimal prompting before marching upstairs to eat.
And just when we were wondering if we would ever be able to teach our children the spirit of giving, especially after last night's excesses, my son surprised me this morning. He woke up early to check out the toys he had received last night. We noticed he had gotten two of one particular action figure. I pointed that out to him. "Do you really need both?" I asked. He pondered that, and picking up one large action figure, he said, "Mommy, you can give this one to the kids who don't have any toys to play with." I was filled with pride at that moment, and there were tears in my eyes as I hugged him and thanked him for his sharing.
So, maybe, we're doing okay as parents.

My Christmas/In-Law Rant

In this time of economic recession and over-consumerism, it's often difficult to teach children the true meaning of Christmas. We try hard to get the message to our children that the Christmas season is not about Santa Claus, getting lots of presents and being in toy-heaven. Rather that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, and the fun stuff is about spending time with family, and thinking about a special gift for someone, and focusing on those who are not as fortunate as us. For example, this year we have sponsored a child in Rwanda through World Vision.
And here is my rant...
Every year, my in-laws go overboard on Christmas gifts for the kids. We have asked them every year, more than once, to not purchase so many gifts. We have asked them repeatedly to refrain themselves and purchase one or two gifts for the kids. And every year, our requests fall on deaf years. We have always only purchased two gifts for each child. This has never changed.
Now picture this - we went to the mother-in-law's for Christmas celebration yesterday. We brought the gifts that we had selected for the nieces and nephew and grandmother. They brought over their gifts. Before the unwrapping, the children spent several hours playing together. We partook in a meal. And then madness started.
They brought out gifts only for our children. The reasoning being that the cousins would visit Grandma on Christmas Eve and receive their gifts then. So, for the next 40 minutes, our 3 children opened present after present. It got to the point, that they would rip off the wrapping paper, take a look at the toy, and toss it into the corner. The pile of new toys grew higher and higher. Apparently when we asked them to select one action figure or one My Little Pony, they understood that to mean one in every colour or model! It was gluttony at its best. (I shuddered to think of the trees that had been sacrificed to make the wrapping paper.) When they each unwrapped the one non-toy gift, we made a big deal of the Superhero and Princess underwear. We try to teach our children to be enthusiastic of whatever gift they receive. They did get excited, because such little gifts are cool too. (This morning, Devlin dropped his pants to show me which superhero underwear he was wearing.)
After our children had demolished their mountain of toys, the cousins unwrapped their meager gifts that we had brought. While we had taken some time to put some thought into the gifts, we looked horribly cheap in comparison. The looks of disappointment were evident on their faces. And if you were a kid, could you blame them?
By this time, both my husband and I were quite upset. Not that we want to seem ungracious for their efforts, but clearly our requests that they refrain from spoiling our children had been rebuffed. It was more than mere spoiling too. I counted about 12-15 gifts that each of my children received. That's more than they'll get on Christmas day from us as parent, Santa Claus, and my family. Whatever message we were trying to teach our children about Christmas was taken from us, stomped on, and thrown out the window. We felt undermined as parents and disrespected as individuals. Also, what if we had also had gotten some of the same gifts for our children? Since we're not showering our children with nearly as many gifts, how will our children perceive us on Christmas day?
They received so many gifts. It seemed to be utterly selfish and irresponsible to keep them all. I know they had some of those same toys at home already too. Under the guise of putting away the gifts in the car, I removed about a third of the gifts and placed them in a large garbage bag for the charity toy drive. When we got home, the kids didn't notice that they were missing anything. They were simply excited to play with the two toys we let them open up that night. (Another rant - what's with all the plastic and blister packaging on toy packages? Really, the packaging is adult-proof and so environmentally unfriendly!)
There, I've said my piece about my in-laws. I'm thankful that other family members are more reasonable, sensible about their gift-giving, and I can only hope that somehow, we'll be able to salvage the true message of Christmas for our children. And maybe boycott Christmas with the in-laws next year?

Adventures with Aisling

It's been a roller coaster 2 weeks with Aisling. There's never a dull moment in our household, especially with Aisling. She's always on the move, so much so, we've idly considered buying a kid's leash for her. The other night, as she ran about, she tripped and fell, and bit the inside of her mouth. Yup - lots of blood, some screaming and tears and 5 minutes later, she was off exploring again.

Aisling also had a bit of a cold last week. A gross nose, a bit of grumpiness, and unfortunately for her, constipation too. At one point, the poor kid was whimpering and saying "poo". We were visiting some good friends (Dave and Shelley) and their gorgeous new house. As the evening progressed, Devlin's temper began to show. If that wasn't enough to call the night short, we ran out of diapers and Aisling was not in a happy place. Said our good byes, and into the car before the diaper situation got more dire. (Spent a few moments reflecting on the beautiful house and came to the conclusion, that notwithstanding Shelley's tasteful decorating, the lack of clutter and toys was what really made the house stand out. Maybe one day, we'll be back to the clutter/toy-free status.)

Got home, with one grumpy boy and two little girls. Put grumpy boy in pjs and on naughty stool for a time-out. Put Aisling in tub, and then Ceilidh. All of a sudden, Ceilidh started a fuss. It appeared, that the warm bath water had its desired effect on Aisling's tortured bowels. Yup - poop in tub. And not just a little. Pretty gross. But Aisling appeared to be content.

A few days later, Aisling was back to her usual curious self. I brought in the groceries. Took 30 seconds to take of my jacket, and help Ceilidh unzip her jacket. Maybe it was 45 seconds. I went to grab the grocery bins, and found the entire carton of eggs dumped into the bin. Four eggs had cracked and were oozing onto the floor and vegetables, but miraculously 8 were still intact. And there was one very satisfied toddler looking at her handiwork. In her mind, of course, she was helping me to "unpack" the groceries. She followed me into the kitchen - and yes, I was grumbling, in between trying to scold her - to again offer her assistance with the remaining groceries. She heaved and pulled the milk bags out and dragged them to the fridge. The strawberries landed on the floor, in her eagerness to reach the cucumbers and carrots. She took a bite out of the cucumber (plastic wrap and all), and attempted to chew through the carrot bag. I saw her little hands move towards the butter and managed to scoop her out of the way, much to her displeasure.
She is a great helper, though. When I return home from work, she greets me at the door and eagerly takes my lunch bag into the kitchen and proceeds to dump the containers into the sink. Having observed it many times, when she sees me grab the laundry basket to fill with soiled clothes, she hurries into Devlin's room and drabs out his laundry basket. She then proceeds to transfer all the dirty clothes into the basket. It does take me a few minutes to sort out the darks from the whites after she's assisted, but hey, I'm not about to discourage this helpful behaviour. When it's time for dinner, Aisling eagerly runs to her chair or looks to grab the cutlery from the kitchen and bring it to the dinner table. After she's done her meal, she will announce "Done" and give you her plate. If you're not quick enough, the said plate will get dumped to the ground, along with the food that's fallen to the tray as she's quick to "clear" the tray of the stray bits of food too.
I'm sure next week will bring more tales of Aisling as we head into the holidays, gift wrap and the tempting, prettily wrapped packages under the tree.

Devlin's Christmas Assembly

A week ago, Devlin brought home the letter from school detailing this year's Kindergarten Christmas Assembly. It clearly stated that grandparents and younger siblings were welcome to attend. Since his grandparents were visiting, he issued the invite and half-heartedly suggested that Ceilidh could come too.
It was a bit crazy on the morning of the assembly. Between parents who slept in a little, children who woke up much too early, four adults trying to get dressed and breakfasts to be eaten, and one daddy who procrastinated (as usual), chaos reigned supreme. The only calm individual was Ceilidh, who was dressed and ready to go before anyone else. She had her hair combed and pinned with the Hello Kitty elastic, her pink pearl Hello Kitty jewellery adorned her arms, neck and fingers and Hello Kitty socks on her feet too. She waited patiently, and proceeded to put on her pink winter jacket and pick sparkly shoes when given the go-ahead. I swear she looked like a refugee from the land of Hello Kitty.
Anyways, the assembly was wonderful entertainment. It's great to watch children sing and dance with excited waves to family member. Before shyness and reservations set in, before it's "not cool" to sing with abandon, before it's embarrassing to wave to your parents. It was hilarious to watch some 35 kindergarten students of every race and ethnicity belt out tunes about Santa. Devlin's class is a great representation of how multi-cultural our society has truly become.
And there was Grandpa with his camera (mommy and daddy forgot their camera), and Grandma beaming and waving frantically.
Afterwards, there were crafts and activities for the children and parents. Ceilidh, apparently enjoyed it so much, she didn't want to go home!

Christmas Stress

The problem with being too organized (is there such a thing?) around Christmas time is that it leads you open to more stress later on. Well, only if you want to be greatest mom and not disappoint your children on Christmas day.
I actually thought I had Christmas under control this year. Made up some cookie dough, and it's sitting int he freezer, ready to be sliced and baked. Two other cookie recipes are ready to be prepared, that is, all ingredients in pantry. Christmas cards ordered, picked up, addressed and mailed out. (No personal hand-written message though. I'm not super-human!) 80% of Christmas presents purchased and hidden - not yet wrapped. All gifts for husband's side of the family done! Teacher's gift selected - just needs to be wrapped before Friday. And since we're spending the holidays with my family in my hometown, I don't have to worry about holiday meals - just looking forward to some relaxing days spent with family.
I was actually feeling relaxed, perhaps even a bit smug! Until I was presented with the letter to Santa from Devlin. It had one item on it - Captain America. Last year, he was into the DC Comics Superheroes, and his fascination was accommodated. This year, it's Marvel superheroes. For those of you who don't know, DC Comics are Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the rest of the Justice League characters. Marvel Comics are Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, The Hulk, IronMan, and the rest of the Avengers. Captain America too. I know I purchased some Spiderman and Ironman figures, but Captain America wasn't even on my radar.
So, off I went to the toy store on my lunch hour. No luck. Called the husband and suggested he go hunting at the toy store near his office. Also no luck. Starting to feel a little stress about this. But also wondering if Devlin will be distracted with all the other presents. Or maybe, borrowing a page from my parents, I could arrange for a letter from Santa Claus to indicate there weren't any Captain Americas left in the workshop, and would he settle for a difference superhero? Except, which superhero?
I'll try one more time tomorrow at neighbourhood department store.
At least Ceilidh was easy. Anything princess related will appease her - at least for this year. Aisling, I'm sure will be content with whatever she gets. Even the wrapping paper and bows.

Are you my mommy?

Remember that book where the little chick or duck hatches out of its egg all alone? The newly hatched fowl then goes on a tour of the farm looking for its mother? "Are you my Mommy?" it asks all the various animals, before finally meeting up its mother. This, of course, goes against the much touted theory that newborn human babies all know their mother by smell. There is some study that newborns can distinguish their mothers by the scent of the breast milk, and will move towards the "correct" female body. There's also a study that indicated newborns can also recognize their mother's voice, since they've become familiar with the mother's voice from the womb. The support being that newborns will turn towards their mother's voice and be more easily soothed by it than any other sound. As a baby's eyesight is still all fuzzy and grainy, this reliance on the other senses is astounding.
In my opinion, this is all warm and fuzzy research designed to impart a sense of security to the new parent who is terrified of not being able to bond with their new baby. I further will theorize that the ability to recognize the mother's voice is probably a reflex that is soon lost as the child ages. (Like the Babinski and startle reflexes in newborns.) How else to explain why children no longer respond when you call their name or ask them to do something?
I'm also thinking that the eyesight thing might not improve that much. (Or maybe it's just my kids.) One hopes that your children will be able to recognize you by sight. I'm wondering about Aisling.
The other day, while flipping through a magazine, the kids came upon an advertisement featuring an Asian model. Aisling pointed to it, and said "Mama!".
And it's just not me that she has trouble distinguishing. A few nights, she picked up the book I had been reading. On the cover of the smutty romance novel, was a picture of a handsome, buffed male model with dark brown hair embracing a blond woman (yeah, yeah, one of those books - it's my one vice, okay!). Aisling points to the male and says "Daddy!".
When is it too soon to get a child's eyesight checked?
While laughing about this, I remembered when Devlin was about Aisling's age, he would point to any advertisement showing a hair covered arm, and say "Daddy!".

Filled with Naughtiness!

In case some of you readers got the impression that my rugrats are angels at all times, I am sorry to say that I have misled you. The sad fact is, these munchkins are often filled with mischief that soon turns into outright naughtiness. Unfortunately, there are days that we have surpassed the two minute warning, the 5 minute penalty on the naughty stool, the promised smack on the bum, all to no avail.

Last weekend was a prime example.

Devlin woke up whiny. Of all the misbehaviours, whining tops my list. I can't stand to listen to that. The morning started off on the wrong foot. Then Ceilidh joined in. Not to be outdone, Aisling decided to cling and whine also. Wayne and I did rocks, paper, scissors to see who get the first escape (i.e. the shower).

We held out the promise of an afternoon outing to the movies if they behaved. They didn't.

There was a disagreement over the breakfast menu. Then Devlin wanted to play a board game with Daddy. Ceilidh wanted to play too. Fine. Then Ceilidh and Devlin decided to argue over who got to sit where. They pushed at each other, until inevitably one child landed on the floor. A trip to the naughty stool. No apology or remorse. Another trip to the time-out stool.

Ceilidh refused to get ready for dance class. Devlin whined about getting ready for skating. (Really, maybe we should have just refused to take them to their lessons. But that's punishment for the parents who don't get even a 30 minute break from this craziness.) Ceilidh wanted Daddy to take her to dance. I needed to go because I had errands to run. Put crying Ceilidh into car. Left whining Devlin and clingy Aisling at home to get ready for skating.

Returned home after dance class. Ceilidh's mood has improved drastically. Devlin's has deteriorated even more so. Aisling was at least napping, albeit briefly.

After lunch, there was another tussle. Someone got hit in the face. Someone got pushed to the floor. Someone got their cheeks pinched. Someone else got their hair pulled. If I had a whistle, I would blown it. Instead, we enforced naps on all three. Two complied, but the youngest refused. And she kept trying to wake up her older siblings. Apparently, wreaking havoc isn't any fun without your cohorts. I needed a nap!

At my wits' end, I took Aisling out to the Walmart while the other two slept. We picked up some needed items. She started rubbing her eyes while in the check out line. Got her into the car seat. Started the drive home. Her eyes started to droop. Drove around the neighbourhoods while she gently snored. Pulled into the empty driveway. (I guess Daddy thought taking the kids to the movie which they so didn't deserve was better than dealing with another 2 hours of whining/ fighting/craziness.) Aisling was still asleep. So, I unloaded the purchases while I left her in the car. Still she slept. I gently undid the car seat harnesses. Still snoring gently. Picked her up and brought her in. Still asleep. Took off her shoes and unzipped the jacket. Eyes still closed. Put her in bed and gently removed jacket. Still sleeping. Got up to leave the room, and ...Aisling is now awake. Despite all efforts, she refused to close her eyes again.

By the end of the day, any thought of spending some alone time with my spouse and a bottle of wine after the kids were asleep were long gone. Rather, when the kids fell asleep, we, too, were asleep.

Your daily smile

There was a light dusting of snow on the ground this morning. Devlin, upon discovering this after waking up, shouted with joy, "My wish came true! It finally snowed!"

Ceilidh woke up and immediately headed to the tree. Disappointment was evident as she asked, "Why Santa didn't come last night?" Mummy's task was to gently explain that there are 24 more days before Santa arrives.

And Aisling? She made a bee line for the tree and two more ornaments hit the ground before someone caught up to her.