If I could...

If I could, I would walk Devlin to school every day and pick him up. Especially now that he's gotten used to school and looks forward to greeting his playmates at the gate. Last year, when he started junior kindergarten, there were days I really really wished I was back at work. Those were the mornings when Devlin would cry, and hold onto my legs, while I slowly made my way into the classroom, dragging his resisting body towards the special chair they had set out for him. The chair where he was sit until he was done his sobbing and was ready to join the class. Equally, I would dread picking him up in the event the teacher called me over to relate some behavioural incident involving my son. The first week of junior kindergarten, he got sent to the vice-principal's office for fighting! It was embarrassing. But as he acclimated to the school culture, it became enjoyable to walk him to school. In the winter, I would bring the toboggan and pull him home. In the spring, he rode his two-wheeler (technically 4-wheeler with the training wheels) while I jogged alongside.
Now that I'm back at work, the opportunities to take him to school are rare. His dad took him to school more often, thanks to a flexible work schedule and the ability to work from home on certain days. Since Ceilidh will be starting junior kindergarten in September, and Devlin will heading into grade one, I have even greater longings to stay home and be with my kids. That feeling quickly passes when I have to step into the middle of an argument and play referee though.
A few days ago, Devlin and his dad were at the grocery store. They ran into a classmate's mother who was working as the cashier. Her work schedule permits her to take her child to and from school every day. Devlin commented to his father that he wished his daddy could work at the grocery store too, so that his daddy could walk to him to school every day. Well, that got Daddy going on about the merits of doing well in school and getting a good job. Devlin's next response was that when he grew up, he would stay home and not work so he could take his kids to school. Which got Daddy lecturing Devlin about why a job was necessary (to pay for food, clothes, sports, books, the house) and how staying at home was not a great option. I'm not sure if the message got through to Devlin. But I totally see his point. I, too, wanted my mom to stay home with me. I think I even asked my dad to get me two mommies - one to go to work so the bills could get paid, and one to stay with me.
If I could, I would stay home with my children. Well, let's be honest...if I could, I would try to find a way to stay home some of the time, or even most of the time. I know myself. I need to work. Financially for sure, but also to give me an opportunity to get out of the house (away from the kids) and give me the sense that I am contributing to the greater society. One could argue that there is no greater contribution than raising well-adjusted children. Or, that I could find ways to contribute by volunteering with various organizations. But having spent many years toiling away to obtain a higher education, I cannot find it in myself to abandon my career to become a stay-at-home parent. (Frankly speaking, we can't afford to either.) But I also believe that being a working mother is my contribution to society, since I'm providing a positive role-model to my children. I want them to understand and believe that one can do anything, so long as they are determined. That women are invaluable members of society, and the working sector. How else can I preach the benefits of education if they cannot see the tangible benefits? Furthermore,  I want my children to understand the importance of service to others - be it their family, their community, their country. The new Governor-General of Canada, David Johnston and his wife have raised 5 strong, smart daughters. Their family was described as "over-achievers", and Mr. Johnston, upon the announcement of his new position, said "My wife and I have always believed that service, whether it is to family, community, university or country, is our highest calling." I love that quote. In that same vein, I want to raise my children to understand that whatever talents they may possess should be shared freely with others, for the purpose of bettering the world in which they reside.
And so, I hope that one day, Devlin will understand that wanting his parents to stay home all the time is a selfish thought, and that his parents work to provide him and his siblings with a home, but also work so that others in their community can continue to work, feed their families and sleep at night without worries. I hope that Devlin and his siblings will understand that while we will try our very best to share in the exciting and momentous occasions in their lives, that sometimes our work commitments will interfere. More importantly, one day, I hope Devlin and his sisters will understand I truly believe I am a better mother because I work outside the home.