Aisling in the Kitchen!

Aisling loves to help out in the kitchen. On weekend mornings, she assists her dad with grinding the coffee beans and turning on the coffee maker. Or she's stirring up the pancake batter.

She loves to help Mommy with baking - lining the muffin tins with the paper cups, dumping in the ingredients, and licking the bowl.

To Be or Not...a Tiger Mother

So, I've finally gotten around to reading Amy Chua's Memoirs of a Tiger Mother book. It is interesting, to say in the least. Quite obviously, the media put its own spin on the contents, but I do believe Ms. Chua has some valid points about raising children. Particularly in light of her background as a first generation immigrant confronted with raising competent, competitive, healthy children in mixed race household. I echo many of her concerns and I can see her reasoning. I don't think I'd parent in the extreme manner she chose, though.
In one chapter, she described the conundrum of having to locate pianos while on vacation locales so that her elder daughter wouldn't miss a single day of practising. her younger daughter simply carted the violin onto the planes as carry on luggage. She also regaled the readers with an episode from a Grecian holiday where her parents were eager to check out the ruins with the rest of the family. It was planned, folks were dressed and waiting in the lobby. But alas, the younger daughter had to practise a mere ten minutes of violin. Well, it would have been ten minutes if she had gotten it right the first time. The child didn't, and refused to listen or heed her mother's instructions. Ten minutes stretched to hours and hours of arguing, tears, stubborn stances and a battle of wills. By the time it was over, the ruins were closed and no one came out the triumphantly happy victor.
Wow, I thought to myself as I read that passage. That certainly is NOT my style. For one, vacation is vacation. That means no piano practising. A vacation for bother the music pupil and the parent who has to supervise (me). Secondly, hours and hours of battling a child over one song? Never.
Until last weekend.
It would have taken twenty minutes, maybe thirty at the most, for Devlin to complete his piano practising session. IF all went well. That is, no attitude, no arguments about the number of times a song should be played, and no mistakes. The point of practising a piece numerous times is to ensure the song is eventually done without mistakes. Perfection is the goal. Had my son actually listened and heeded my knowledge of the music (I did indeed take years and years of piano when I was a kid), the practice session would have been done in a matter of minutes. But alas, this was not to be. First of all, there was arguments about the scale. The number of times he had to rehearse the scale. When I pointed out a mistaken note, Devlin's response was to fall onto the keyboard. That earned him a warning about his attitude and behaviour. It didn't get better. Before we moved onto the next piece, he spent some time on time-out spot. Then another round of tears and yelling while I tried to get him to count the beats correctly while synchronizing his right and left hands. "I quit piano" he yelled more than once. More time-outs. And on and on it went. He was threatened that if her didn't improve his behaviour markedly, he would miss his classmate's birthday party that afternoon. Even that didn't trigger a change. Eventually, I left to go grocery shopping, having missed the Farmer's Market.
When I returned from my errands, Devlin was more subdued and waiting at the piano. We completed the practice session a full five hours after it began.
He was allowed to attend the birthday party solely for the purpose of dropping off a gift and explaining why he couldn't stay.
The next day's piano session went by without a hitch.
I wasn't demanding the moon and the stars from him. I was simply requesting a positive attitude. I also know his abilities when it comes to piano. He can sight-read extremely well, and he has the ability to play the piece perfectly. He is also very lazy and prone to wanting to "give up" or rush through a task without the requisite care and attention. I know if I don't nurture the proper attitude now, it'll spell hardship and failures later on in life.
Am I a mean mommy? Or am I parent who simply wants the best for her child, and one who knows her child's abilities and limitations?
Tiger Mother - hear this Tiger Mommy ROAR!

Helpful Devlin

My son can be very helpful, when he wants to be. He's also susceptible to the messages from the advertising world. For Christmas last year, I received the Slap Chopper from him after he watched a commercial about how much help it would give me in the kitchen.
This year, apparently I am looking old and tired.
After viewing a commercial for hair dye, specifically the Garnier Nutrisse spot that has vivacious models flipping their long and luxurious locks, he suggested, 'I think you should get that Mommy!"

Hmmm....

Sibling Interactions

Growing up with three younger siblings, I've had my share of disagreements, tussles, name-calling, and altercations with my brother and sisters. So has my husband who is one of three. Perhaps that's why we don't react so quickly or strongly to the everyday arguments or differences of opinion that occur on a daily, if not hourly basis at our humble zoo.
We've heard it all:
- he's kicking me;
- she's looking at me;
- he says I don't know but I do know, and I'm right, right?;
- she wants my toy;
- she ate my snack;
- stop interruptin' me, I'm trying to talk;
- why does he get to pick the movie all the time;
- I can't see and she won't move;
- he's sitting in my spot;
- she's pinching me;
- he kicked me;
- it's my turn!

Whatever - we've heard it all, at least once or twice. So, unless someone is bleeding or in danger of being physically hurt, we generally don't get involved right away. After all, nine times out of ten, the issue is resolved within minutes and there's peace and quiet for at least another twenty-five minutes. Do they work it out themselves? Sometimes, but truthfully, it's a matter of outsmarting the other sibling, or moving quickly to nab the object in dispute. Aisling is brilliant at simply plucking the desired toy out of her older siblings' grasp and walking away. Ceilidh is talented at wedging herself into the corner of the couch (a prime piece of real estate in our home - all of one square foot) and wiggling the offending sibling out of the way. Devlin, unfortunately, loses out a lot, having it ingrained in his psyche that he is NEVER to hit his sisters. Oftentimes, he is the one to enlist parental backup in a dispute. My sister Shunaha often did that too.
Last weekend, the monkeys were amusing themselves while the grown-ups enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. All of a sudden, we heard the whine of distress from Aisling. It didn't stop, but continued to increase in volume and urgency. As I prepared to investigate the cause, my younger siblings suggested I stay put, and let them "work it out" as we did when we were growing up.
"It's good for their character to resolve their own disputes," my brother stated.
"Yeah, we worked it out on our own when we were kids," my sister Grace agreed.
"Sure, like how you worked it out with Shunaha? By pulling out handfuls of her hair?" I retorted.
"Yeah, well, she probably deserved it," came the reply.

Then the crying started in earnest. I rushed to see the cause and this is what I saw.

Ceilidh was standing on the couch (a no-no), Devlin was about five feet away on the ground. Aisling was in between, attempting to jump and retrieve the stuffed  monkey. Two of my monkeys, Devlin and Ceilidh, were playing monkey in the middle, with the third monkey, with an actual monkey.