Little Ears

Ever notice how kids can manage to hear the slightest whispers between you and your partner, but somehow will not hear you screaming at them from a foot away?


I have repeatedly asked my children to put on their shoes / clean up toys / come to the dinner table/ get into the bath tub/ get into their car seats/ etc. in ever increasing volumes with no response. Not even an indication that they heard the request. No blinking of the eyes. No twitching of their head. Not even a momentary stop in motion. Not until you are in their face, front and centre, yelling for the twentieth time to put on their shoes do they even acknowledge your presence.


I have wondered at times if my children suffered from premature hearing loss. Or maybe they managed to stuff a tiny toy into their ear canals. These theories are quickly dismissed by the following observations:





1. Ceilidh can hear a bag of chips being opened in any part of the house and come running.


2. Devlin manages to hear all the curse words muttered by a frustrated parent, and call us on it.


3. Aisling will wake from a sound sleep upon hearing the creak of a floorboard when mommy steps on it. (yet manages to sleep through a tempter tantrum by an older sibling!)


4. The word "treat", no matter how quietly it is uttered, will bring all three kids to your side in a matter of seconds.

And another demonstration of their remarkable ability to clearly hear:
One night, after a frustrating ultimate frisbee game, Wayne and I were rehashing the ugly details on the drive home. It was a game that was played poorly, and resulted in a loss against a team we have beaten in the past.
W: That was awful. We should have kicked their butts.

Devlin, from the back row of the minivan: Daddy, don't say "kick butt" because that means you're fighting someone, and fighting is bad and not nice.

A clear example of the "little pitcher, big ears". Incidentally, Devlin and Ceilidh have disproportionately large ears. We're not sure which family this particular trait came from, although there's been some thought it's a by-product of mixed marriage kids. Lots of interracial kids have really big ears. Take a look sometime. Once, Devlin even told his doctor that the only thing that was growing were his ears!

At any rate, you'd think with such large hearing appendages, they could pick up all sounds.

Alas, I have concluded that instead of supersonic hearing powers, my children have developed the ability to practise selective hearing at a very early age. Perhaps a trait they have picked up from their father?

For example, Ceilidh will be asked a number of times to pick up her toys. Each time, in a more louder, more insistent tone. And each time, Ceilidh will continue with whatever activity she was partaking in without any notice. Not even blink at the sound of our voices. But if Daddy was to say very quietly, "Ceilidh, you can have a chip if you pick up your toys", there will be an instant reaction. Her head will snap to attention and she will look around for the promised chip.