Friday, September 24, 2010

Contrast in Sleep Styles

I love watching my children sleep - it's the only time they're quiet and angelic. A few nights ago, after a late frisbee game, we came home to our three monkeys, slumbering away in our bed. I think I stood there for five minutes, just relishing the peacefulness, while gazing upon their sleeping forms. Devlin was curled up against a pillow, Ceilidh in the middle and Aisling on the side with her arms flung up and soother firmly between her lips.
I don't know how our nanny does it, but she always convinces them to sleep together in the same bed. We can never seem to all the parties to agree to this, unless we - the parents- also agree to sleep in the same bed. We did start out with the family bed, but we've now moved onto the parental beds. That is, Daddy gets one kid (usually Ceilidh) and I get the other two. Which is fine with me since both Devlin and Aisling fall asleep within minutes of their heads hitting the pillow. They are truly tactile children, whereas Ceilidh is apparently a auditory child.
Huh? Yep, apparently one can now classify children by senses. Tactile children are the kids who are full of energy that must released before sleep can occur. They're also the kids that cannot bear to go to sleep if something else is going on with other family members. Bedtime is a group activity where opting is not an option. But once that excess energy is gone, and their batteries are on low, Devlin and Aisling enter into dream land quickly. It's like a switch that goes off. What's interesting is that, as babies, these two were the ones that woke up regularly every 3 hours or so to be fed. Now, they will sleep through thunder, snoring, crying and whatever else once they've fallen asleep, and so long as no one is kicking them in the face.
Ceilidh is a different story. Even though she's clearly exhausted, she will fight the idea of going to sleep if she can't sleep with her hero - Daddy. And she loves to chat as she's falling asleep. After discovering her classification as an "auditory" child, I've learned to deal with her bedtime struggles by letting her talk until she's used up her daily word quota. In fact, I've fallen asleep listening to her chatter on about the princesses and the castle and the superheroes that came to rescue the princess. (Apparently there are also classifications of children as visual and taste and smell. While I understand the absence of visual cues, or things to look at like a tv or books, will calm a "visual" child, I'm not sure about the taste and smell child.)

As a mother of three, I have learned that a baby's early sleep patterns are not indicative of their sleep styles as they get older. For example, Devlin and Aisling never slept through the night as infants. I think it took Devlin almost 2 and half years before he would slumber without waking. Aisling, probably 18 months. Both would wake every 2-3 hours for a feed in the early months, and then every 4 hours, and then once a night for middle of the night snack. Meanwhile as a baby, Ceilidh was THAT one - the babe that slept through the night at 6 weeks! She would fall asleep anywhere easily, and even manage to sleep through her older brother's tantrums. She's also the only one of my children to smile while sleeping.
I still catch a glimpse of that baby in my Ceilidh nowadays. When Ceilidh is tired during the day, she will have a nap. Whether it's in the car, or on the couch, or sometimes on the floor where she was playing with her stickers. One day, she turned to her Aunt Grace and announced she was going to have a nap. Then she stretched out, closed her eyes and slept. Similarly, Aisling is easy to convince when it comes to nap time. In fact, when she was about 15 months old, and it was nap time, Aisling would head upstairs for the rocking chair and retrieve her blanket. Then she'd wait at the top of the stairs for Daddy to come and rock her to the lullabies.
Devlin was another story. When he turned two, he decided that naps were overrated. Especially when Mommy or Daddy were home.(Again, see definition of tactile child above.) When I was home on maternity leave after Ceilidh, the only way I could manage to have both Devlin and Ceilidh fall asleep at the same time during the afternoon was by taking them for a drive. I'd pop Ceilidh into her infant seat, strap Devlin into his car seat and then head for the nearest Tim Horton's drive thru while playing soft lullabies on the CD. After picking up a coffee, I'd start driving a 10km route that took us out to the nearby farms and highways. Eventually, with both kids snoozing, I'd make my way back home. I even mastered unstrapping Devlin and removing him from the car seat, entering the house, removing his shoes and getting him onto the couch without waking him. On rare occasions, he'd fall asleep on his own. Like the time I found him asleep in his laundry basket, with a pillow, after a tantrum.

With the arrival of Aisling, I gave up trying to convince Devlin it was nap time. While Ceilidh slept, and Aisling dozed, I'd let Devlin watch some Treehouse and try to catch a few winks myself. One afternoon, I remember smelling toast while I dozed on the couch with Aisling on my chest. In a panic, I ran to the kitchen. All the kitchen cupboards were open, there was milk on the counter, the fridge door was hanging open, and Devlin looking pleased with himself sitting at the table. He had prepared for himself some toast and poured a cup of milk because he was hungry and didn't want to wake me up.

Eventually, I'm sure my monkeys will sleep in their own bed, and won't require so much hands-on treatment to fall asleep. In the meantime, we have our bedtime routines that the experts preach will aid in developing good sleep habits. There's a bath and story time, although in our family, it's more like 4 or 5 stories. Sometimes there's a game of UNO beforehand. After prayers and the last sip of milk, it's time for lights out and we all fall asleep. All of us. Including mommy and daddy. Maybe when they're sleeping in their own beds, mommy and daddy will be able to stay awake to watch prime time television, or the late night news.


But really, with cute monkeys like these, how can I possibly exile them to sleep in their own bed?

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