Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Quinn no longer needs Mommy the Defender

I've identified myself as having 3 kids and a baby. And as mommy and defender of the baby, I've always kept an eagle on the other three kids to make sure they treated him with the gentle care and attention, and lots of affection. The other three have always been very good with Quinn. From the moment he arrived in their lives, he's always been subjected to hugs, kisses and cuddles. Ceilidh was so aggressive with her affection, that Quinn would cringe and shy away from her. As he got older and more mobile, his older siblings would be careful not to leave any tiny or sharp objects lying around, after much reminding from Mommy. As he began to reach and destroy, his siblings learned to not leave anything of value or importance anywhere near Quinn. For they all knew, as the baby, Quinn wouldn't be blamed for the destruction. Rather, the older kids would be blamed for their own carelessness.
Now some  may argue that leaving the baby blameless is wrong. But I call it in teaching responsibility for one's possessions. And reasoning with a 5 or 7 or 9 year old is much easier than explaining that ripped pages are a no-no to a 2 year old. When he would hit a sibling, accidently of course, as he had no concious control over his limbs, I would soothe the wounded child while explaining that as a baby, Quinn didn't mean to hurt.
But I've come to the realization that Quinn is ready to fend for himself. He no longer needs Mommy to fight his battles with his older siblings, or provide the ready excuse "He's just a baby, he doesn't understand!"
Aside from the fact that he has truly reached the "terrible twos", temper tantrums and all, he's learned to use his little fists to express his anger and frustration. I've seen his hands grab hold of his sister Aisling's long locks when he wants her out of the way. He uses his fists to punch and push me when I don't give in to his demands. And no, I don't give in, no matter how many little blows he lands while I try to "reason" with an angry toddler that hitting isn't going to get him the desired results.
I must admit, it's quite funny to watch him in a full blown temper tantrum. Remember Aisling? She used to strip down naked in major tantrum! Quinn just starts pleading with his big eyes staring up at you. Like Puss in Boots from Shrek. When that doesn't work, he starts shouting his demands. Then he starts jumping up and down in anger. While screaming. Then he falls to the ground, and cries and screams. When that doesn't produce the desired result, he gets up and starts punching, his little arms flailing like windmills. Then he spits and wipes his drooly mouth on my legs. Yeah, gross.
And finally, he collapses and sobs into my shoulder when he realizes he's just not going to get his way, and that Mommy's will is actually stronger than his. It hasn't always been the case, but it's time to stop spoiling the baby.
As for fending for himself? Quinn is not the instigator, but he's quickly learning to stick up for himself.
The other night, Quinn was going through his usual bedtime queries. "Where's Arlyn? Where's Daddy? Where's Ceilidh? Where's Aisling? Where's Devlin?" Once satisfied that all are sleeping, he'll settle down to sleep too. But last night, Devlin decided to tease his brother by asking him "Where's Quinn?" while poking him in the ribs, most likely in an effort to tickle him.
Quinn did not like the poke. And he stated, "Stop it Devlin!" while utilizing a lightning quick side punch at his older brother's head. That shut Devlin up.

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