Ever see that chick flick "Music and Lyrics"? It starred Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. Basically, the storyline was about former 80's has been pop star who was the given the opportunity to revive his name by writing a song for an up and coming singer. Along the way, he falls in love with his unlikely writing partner. The movie featured some great songs that were very reminiscent of the 80's music genre. Our three children love dancing to the songs, and on some nights, we have "dance parties" where we blast the music and dance around in our pyjamas.
It's hilarious to watch their individual styles as the three bounce around the room. Devlin will literally jump all over the place while trying to snap his fingers and sing the song at the same time. Very uncoordinated. Ceilidh on the other hand, brings a graceful approach to the dance as she fluidly waves her arms and shakes her hips and then twirls around on the spot. Aisling simply bops her head and upper body to the beat. Sometimes, in copying her older sister, she will raise her arms and also twirl around and around until she falls over in a dizzy heap.
Ceilidh loves to dance. The other night, I caught her in the kitchen dancing to some song on the radio when she should have been eating her dinner. She's quite good at the dancing. (Okay, I'm her mother, I'm allowed to think she's good at dancing.)
Devlin loves to sing. He is an enthusiastic singer, who belts out the latest song he's learned at school without hesitation. The other night, we sang "Down By the Bay" with each verse becoming more funnier than the last. We're working "Michael Finnigan" now. Unfortunately, Devlin is unable to carry a tune in a bucket, much like his father.
Aisling? She's a singer. Unlike the other two, she is always singing or humming. Her daddy thinks it's because he always sings to her at naptime. Perhaps. I've noticed she hums "Twinkle twinkle little star" as she falls asleep at naps. In the bathtub, she loves "Row row row your boat" and "Wheels on the Bus " is her favorite action song. But she may even be more musically inclined that the others as I've listened to her compose her own song at bedtime. She is most content and happy at night, when she's snuggled against me. With her soother in one hand, and the other hand patting my cheek, she sings, "Mommy, mommy, my mommy. Daddy, daddy, my daddy. Mommy, mommy, my mee-mee (referring to her soother). My mee-mee, my mee-mee..."
Friday, January 29, 2010
A Visit from the Tooth Fairy
Well, all of my angst at how to pull Devlin's first loose tooth was solved. (And there were some debates between my husband and myself as to the best method for pulling a loose tooth - tie a string around tooth and yank or bite into an apple?) When I came home from work yesterday, I was greeted at the door with Devlin's new holey grin!
He had pulled the tooth out himself! I'm sorry I missed that particular moment, but it was exciting to see him showing off the gap between his teeth. His first baby tooth to fall out was carefully wrapped in tissue and placed inside the Tooth Fairy Pillow that Grandma had lovingly made.
This morning, my shower was interrupted by an excited Devlin. He pushed aside the shower curtain to show off the "Tooth Fairy coin" as he called it. There was a shiny twoonie in his hands, as he happily exclaimed "The Tooth Fairy came last night! The Tooth Fairy is real! Look what the Tooth Fairy left in the pillow!"
Daddy was running late this morning, but after witnessing his first-born child's excitement over the first visit by the Tooth Fairy, he decided it was well worth the delay.
As they say:
Running late to work - 2 hours of unnecessary stress and backlog of work.
Cost of baby tooth - $2.
Seeing the sheer happiness of a child discovering the Tooth Fairy's gift - priceless.
And for Uncle Billy - the Tooth Fairy doesn't abide by the current rules of the consumer price index or observe the law of inflation. There's lots of teeth in those little mouths. We still have to pay for their education!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Devlin's Loose Tooth
So I'm in the bathroom, trying to get 2 minutes to myself, when the bathroom door crashes open. It's Devlin with an important announcement. He has a loose tooth! He wiggles the tooth with his tongue. Well, this of course is a moment of celebration as he's reaching another milestone. But the excitement of the loose tooth is soon tempered by the prospect of actually losing the tooth and the fact that it now hurts to bite/chew/eat.
We try explaining that it's another part of becoming a big boy. Soon he'll have big boy teeth. Not interested. He'll have a jack o'lantern smile, we tell him. Not amused.
We try to build up excitement by taking out the tooth fairy pillow that Grandma made for him. He'll be able to put his tooth in the pillow's pocket one night, and money will appear the next morning. Hmmm, a bit intrigued, but then the tongue wiggles the tooth, and he says it hurts.
We read the story "Andrew's Loose Tooth" by Robert Munsch. For a few minutes, the pain is forgotten while laughing about the story. And then the hysteria begins again.
This morning, the drama started with Devlin claiming he couldn't eat his breakfast because of his loose tooth. I persuaded him to have a soft roll and some yogurt. I think he doesn't like the prospect of growing up to be a big boy. Perhaps there will more responsibilities? Or perhaps he figures it's boring to be a big boy? When I remind him the loose tooth is a sign of growing up, he claims the tooth did not become loose on his own, but that Ceilidh punched him in the jaw. (That IS a distinct possibility.)
At this point, after listening to all the whining, I am ready to pull out that tooth myself if it'll put an end to the drama. When I suggested that, Devlin declined the offer but was willing to try the pepper shaker - see Andrew's Loose Tooth.
We try explaining that it's another part of becoming a big boy. Soon he'll have big boy teeth. Not interested. He'll have a jack o'lantern smile, we tell him. Not amused.
We try to build up excitement by taking out the tooth fairy pillow that Grandma made for him. He'll be able to put his tooth in the pillow's pocket one night, and money will appear the next morning. Hmmm, a bit intrigued, but then the tongue wiggles the tooth, and he says it hurts.
We read the story "Andrew's Loose Tooth" by Robert Munsch. For a few minutes, the pain is forgotten while laughing about the story. And then the hysteria begins again.
This morning, the drama started with Devlin claiming he couldn't eat his breakfast because of his loose tooth. I persuaded him to have a soft roll and some yogurt. I think he doesn't like the prospect of growing up to be a big boy. Perhaps there will more responsibilities? Or perhaps he figures it's boring to be a big boy? When I remind him the loose tooth is a sign of growing up, he claims the tooth did not become loose on his own, but that Ceilidh punched him in the jaw. (That IS a distinct possibility.)
At this point, after listening to all the whining, I am ready to pull out that tooth myself if it'll put an end to the drama. When I suggested that, Devlin declined the offer but was willing to try the pepper shaker - see Andrew's Loose Tooth.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Working Mom Rant - part 1
No, this isn't about the stay-at-home mom vs. the working mom. Although, I'll say "Kudos" to the moms that do stay at home. I personally couldn't stay at home all the time. I do miss being at home with the kids, and wish there was some (feasible) way to stay home some days, but we make our choices. And here lies the subject of my rant.
Where do people get off saying because I work outside the home, in a paid position, I am not raising my child? Where do people get the idea that because we employ a nanny for our children's care, we are not raising our children ourselves? What about the scores of families who utilize a daycare or family friend or relative to mind their kids? How come they don't get lumped into the category of "not raising" their children?
I take such offence to comments about me shirking my duties as a parent/mother because I choose to work outside the home. The scenario that's painted is one of a woman who pops out a child and simply hands that infant over to some faceless person to "raise". Incidentally, the same argument is not lobbed at fathers who work outside the home. Apparently, the "raising" of children solely falls on the shoulders of mothers. Another rant for another day.
While we do employ a wonderful woman as a nanny for our children, it is strictly for the hours that we are at work. Just like if I dropped off the kids at a daycare. In terms of raising the children, we (mommy and daddy) are the ones who discipline the children when needed, who take them to the doctor's or emergency when they are ill, who fill out the required forms for school and meet the teachers, who cook the majority of their meals, who take the time to register them for lessons and sports and then accompany them to those classes, who bathe them every night, who kiss and cuddle them and dispel their fears, and most of all, who try to instill some sort of value system in them. And while we may have a nanny who lives with us, it is Mommy who wakes up the kids every morning and helps dress them before she leaves for work. It's mommy who checks that Devlin's school bag is packed with the necessary paperwork, and ensure his weekend homework was completed, and it's Mommy who shops for the nutritious (and sometimes not so nutritious) foods in the fridge. It's mommy and daddy who check for fevers and dose with medication when needed, and mommy and daddy who reads bedtime stories every night. It's mommy and daddy who does their laundry and ensures they have clean clothes to wear, and cooks their supper. (Yep - we do our own laundry and we prepare our own meals, not the nanny.) We teach our children to help set the table and take away their dirty plates when they've finished eating. We encourage them to pick up their toys when playtime is over. We've taught them to put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket every night. We teach them to say "sorry" when they've done wrong, and to share with their siblings. If that's not raising children, then I don't know what is.
And then sometimes I find myself having to defend my decision to hire a nanny in the first place. It's really a matter of finances. The cost of daycare is ridiculous, especially for infants. When you have more than one child, a nanny makes the most financial sense. What about socialization for the child? (Another argument that's apparently not applicable to the stay at home parent.) Well, with more than one child, there's always a playmate. I also strongly believe that your siblings are your best playmates and often, your best friends for life. It's never too early to establish those connections. Of course there were other factors that swayed us into going the nanny route. Both my spouse and I have a long commute to work. It's nice not to be pressured to rush through rush-hour traffic and panic when there's a delay because of uncontrollable factors (i.e. traffic accidents). Also, I like that my kids can eat a substantial snack during the afternoon, as dinners are not served when we arrive home. We lead an active life, and sometimes there are evening activities that occur before supper (frisbee, swimming). If the kids are ill, yes, having a nanny takes the pressure off having to call in sick to work and use up precious sick days. Sometimes, we still have to call in sick because we've been up with the sick child all night. But hey, that's part of "raising" a child.
For our family, our nanny is our child care. She takes Devlin to school. She gets their breakfast, lunch and snacks prepared. She plays with them during the day. She supervises "homework". She takes them to the park during the day. She puts them down for naps - all three of them. She also disciplines when they're naughty. Is this any different from what a day care worker does?
So, again I ask, why am I vilified for utilizing this child care option? Is it simply because I choose to work outside the home? There is a deeper issue here, and that is, why am I having to defend my decision to work at all? (And that's part 2 of the working mom's rant.)
Where do people get off saying because I work outside the home, in a paid position, I am not raising my child? Where do people get the idea that because we employ a nanny for our children's care, we are not raising our children ourselves? What about the scores of families who utilize a daycare or family friend or relative to mind their kids? How come they don't get lumped into the category of "not raising" their children?
I take such offence to comments about me shirking my duties as a parent/mother because I choose to work outside the home. The scenario that's painted is one of a woman who pops out a child and simply hands that infant over to some faceless person to "raise". Incidentally, the same argument is not lobbed at fathers who work outside the home. Apparently, the "raising" of children solely falls on the shoulders of mothers. Another rant for another day.
While we do employ a wonderful woman as a nanny for our children, it is strictly for the hours that we are at work. Just like if I dropped off the kids at a daycare. In terms of raising the children, we (mommy and daddy) are the ones who discipline the children when needed, who take them to the doctor's or emergency when they are ill, who fill out the required forms for school and meet the teachers, who cook the majority of their meals, who take the time to register them for lessons and sports and then accompany them to those classes, who bathe them every night, who kiss and cuddle them and dispel their fears, and most of all, who try to instill some sort of value system in them. And while we may have a nanny who lives with us, it is Mommy who wakes up the kids every morning and helps dress them before she leaves for work. It's mommy who checks that Devlin's school bag is packed with the necessary paperwork, and ensure his weekend homework was completed, and it's Mommy who shops for the nutritious (and sometimes not so nutritious) foods in the fridge. It's mommy and daddy who check for fevers and dose with medication when needed, and mommy and daddy who reads bedtime stories every night. It's mommy and daddy who does their laundry and ensures they have clean clothes to wear, and cooks their supper. (Yep - we do our own laundry and we prepare our own meals, not the nanny.) We teach our children to help set the table and take away their dirty plates when they've finished eating. We encourage them to pick up their toys when playtime is over. We've taught them to put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket every night. We teach them to say "sorry" when they've done wrong, and to share with their siblings. If that's not raising children, then I don't know what is.
And then sometimes I find myself having to defend my decision to hire a nanny in the first place. It's really a matter of finances. The cost of daycare is ridiculous, especially for infants. When you have more than one child, a nanny makes the most financial sense. What about socialization for the child? (Another argument that's apparently not applicable to the stay at home parent.) Well, with more than one child, there's always a playmate. I also strongly believe that your siblings are your best playmates and often, your best friends for life. It's never too early to establish those connections. Of course there were other factors that swayed us into going the nanny route. Both my spouse and I have a long commute to work. It's nice not to be pressured to rush through rush-hour traffic and panic when there's a delay because of uncontrollable factors (i.e. traffic accidents). Also, I like that my kids can eat a substantial snack during the afternoon, as dinners are not served when we arrive home. We lead an active life, and sometimes there are evening activities that occur before supper (frisbee, swimming). If the kids are ill, yes, having a nanny takes the pressure off having to call in sick to work and use up precious sick days. Sometimes, we still have to call in sick because we've been up with the sick child all night. But hey, that's part of "raising" a child.
For our family, our nanny is our child care. She takes Devlin to school. She gets their breakfast, lunch and snacks prepared. She plays with them during the day. She supervises "homework". She takes them to the park during the day. She puts them down for naps - all three of them. She also disciplines when they're naughty. Is this any different from what a day care worker does?
So, again I ask, why am I vilified for utilizing this child care option? Is it simply because I choose to work outside the home? There is a deeper issue here, and that is, why am I having to defend my decision to work at all? (And that's part 2 of the working mom's rant.)
Monday, January 25, 2010
Older Brother Devlin
Aisling has been adding to her vocabulary of words every day. It seems like just yesterday she would point and grunt for her bottle. Now, she will say "milk please" while pointing to her bottle or while taking you to the fridge. She will pull you over to the couch, and pat the cushions while requesting of you "sit please", although it sounds like "seet peese". She'll also run to the fridge to request "cheese", and her favorite treats are "Cheep" (chips) and "coo-coo" (cookie).
At bedtime, she points to her books, says "night-night book" and snuggles against me while I read her bedtime stories. If she hears her older siblings march into the bathroom to brush their teeth, she wiggles off the bed while shouting "brush tee". Of course, her most favorite word, or it seems like the one she uses most frequently is "Mommy".
The other night, while Aisling and Devlin were in the tub, this was the conversation we overheard.
D: Aisling, what's this?
A: Fish (or rather feees)
D: Can you say "boat"?
A: Boot
D: Can you say "duck"?
A: Duck
D: Can you say "dolphin"?
A: Duh.
D: It's easy. Say Doll-fin.
A: Duh.
D: DOLL FIN!
A: No.
D: Just try it - doll-fin.
A: NO!
Well, you have to give him credit. He's trying to be the big brother and teacher.
At bedtime, she points to her books, says "night-night book" and snuggles against me while I read her bedtime stories. If she hears her older siblings march into the bathroom to brush their teeth, she wiggles off the bed while shouting "brush tee". Of course, her most favorite word, or it seems like the one she uses most frequently is "Mommy".
The other night, while Aisling and Devlin were in the tub, this was the conversation we overheard.
D: Aisling, what's this?
A: Fish (or rather feees)
D: Can you say "boat"?
A: Boot
D: Can you say "duck"?
A: Duck
D: Can you say "dolphin"?
A: Duh.
D: It's easy. Say Doll-fin.
A: Duh.
D: DOLL FIN!
A: No.
D: Just try it - doll-fin.
A: NO!
Well, you have to give him credit. He's trying to be the big brother and teacher.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tag Team?
Sometimes I think the kids misbehave in a tag team fashion. It seems like the moment I've dealt with one misbehavin' child, the other one acts up. And so on, until all of my intentions to leave for work on time have gone out the window, and I'm frazzled from disciplining first thing in the morning. Do they all conspire together? Do they plan in advance what to whine about? Do they get dibs on which actions to perform (yelling versus throwing oneself on the floor versus simple "no, no, no" responses)? Do they laugh wickedly to themselves in coming up with ways to drive Mommy crazy before 8 am?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 1 of Daddy Being Away
I spent my one hour commute home thinking about how to distract the children from Daddy's absence at the dinner table. It was easier than I thought. The promise of spaghetti and meatballs for dinner was the trick. And a few hours later, the arrival of much adored Auntie Grace sealed the deal. In fact, neither Devlin nor Ceilidh were greatly interested in saying good night to Daddy on the phone. It was Auntie Grace who had to give them a bath and read them stories. Devlin requested of Auntie Grace to sleep with him. All was good.
Except I hadn't counted on Aisling missing her Daddy so much. Whenever she heard anyone open a door or footsteps on the stairs, she looked up and asked "Daddy?" It took her a long time to fall asleep last night. It was obvious something was not right in her little world. Her first words this morning when she woke up were "Daddy? Daddy" as she looked around in vain.
And me? I'm so grateful that my sister was with us last night, otherwise it would have been a long sleepless night for me. At 11:00pm, Devlin woke up crying with growing pains. And again at 12:00. Auntie Grace took over the rubbing of his foot. Then at 1:3o in the morning, he wet the bed, which necessitated in me stripping the bed while she changed his wet pyjamas. And she was the one who calmed him down and rubbed his feet again until he fell asleep. And again when he woke up later.
Except I hadn't counted on Aisling missing her Daddy so much. Whenever she heard anyone open a door or footsteps on the stairs, she looked up and asked "Daddy?" It took her a long time to fall asleep last night. It was obvious something was not right in her little world. Her first words this morning when she woke up were "Daddy? Daddy" as she looked around in vain.
And me? I'm so grateful that my sister was with us last night, otherwise it would have been a long sleepless night for me. At 11:00pm, Devlin woke up crying with growing pains. And again at 12:00. Auntie Grace took over the rubbing of his foot. Then at 1:3o in the morning, he wet the bed, which necessitated in me stripping the bed while she changed his wet pyjamas. And she was the one who calmed him down and rubbed his feet again until he fell asleep. And again when he woke up later.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Mommy's Chopped Liver
Daddy has to go away on a work related trip this trip. He'll be gone for 3 days and 2 nights. It'll be a LONG 3 days for Mommy, if their reaction is any indicator of their feelings.
When he told the kids about the impending trip, their response was predictably great anguish.
"No, Daddy, I don't want you to go away!"
"No Daddy, I want you to take care of us!"
Daddy promised presents upon his return. This did not distract Devlin from his grief at being parted from his adored Daddy.
Then Devlin asked, "Why can't Mommy go away for work, and you stay home with us?"
(Mommy was okay with this idea.)
Daddy explained it for his job, but Ceilidh missed that part because she then launched herself into my arms, and asked, "Mommy, can you bring me a princess toy, a snow white doll, please please please?"
Again, it had to be explained that Mommy wasn't going anywhere this time, and Daddy was going away for only 2 nights.
Eventually the promise of going to the airport to pick up Daddy calmed down the rugrats. (Meanwhile, seeing as Mommy wouldn't be missed at all, I am planning a get away for myself!)
When he told the kids about the impending trip, their response was predictably great anguish.
"No, Daddy, I don't want you to go away!"
"No Daddy, I want you to take care of us!"
Daddy promised presents upon his return. This did not distract Devlin from his grief at being parted from his adored Daddy.
Then Devlin asked, "Why can't Mommy go away for work, and you stay home with us?"
(Mommy was okay with this idea.)
Daddy explained it for his job, but Ceilidh missed that part because she then launched herself into my arms, and asked, "Mommy, can you bring me a princess toy, a snow white doll, please please please?"
Again, it had to be explained that Mommy wasn't going anywhere this time, and Daddy was going away for only 2 nights.
Eventually the promise of going to the airport to pick up Daddy calmed down the rugrats. (Meanwhile, seeing as Mommy wouldn't be missed at all, I am planning a get away for myself!)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Another milestone for Aisling
We've had a rough weekend. All of our weekend plans got scuttled as Aisling was quite sick with the cold. The typical runny nose, and irritating cough which was compounded by a very high fever. Burning hot little child who wanted to be held all the time. No appetite. A tired whiny cry and a pale little face. When she managed to fall asleep, the coughing would wake her up a short time later. At one point, her coughing led to her throwing up - in bed. So we spent the weekend dosing her with Advil and Tylenol, which meant was had to hold her down and forcefully get the medication past clenched teeth. Lots of cool baths to get her body temperature down. And lots of cuddling.
In the midst of this, she uttered her fist multi-word sentence.
Devlin rushed past her, and accidentally knocked her into the kitchen cabinet. She bonked her head. The crying started almost immediately. As she sputtered, she said, quite clearly despite the soother in her mouth, "I want my Daddy!"
Wow - her first real sentence. Although Wayne disputes this, stating it's a learned response from hearing the other children and not a sentence she devised herself.
Whatever. It's still more than two words put together.
In the midst of this, she uttered her fist multi-word sentence.
Devlin rushed past her, and accidentally knocked her into the kitchen cabinet. She bonked her head. The crying started almost immediately. As she sputtered, she said, quite clearly despite the soother in her mouth, "I want my Daddy!"
Wow - her first real sentence. Although Wayne disputes this, stating it's a learned response from hearing the other children and not a sentence she devised herself.
Whatever. It's still more than two words put together.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Pretty Girl
Ceilidh's been outgrowing her clothes at a fast pace, so I've gone shopping for more clothing. Also, it took me a bit to get over the fact that both her and Devlin are wearing the same size! So this week she's been wearing all of her new outfits, and oohing and aahing over the "pretty" shirts. She also had her hair trimmed on the weekend. When Grandma arrived earlier this week, the first question out of Ceilidh was, "Grandma, look at my hair and clothes. Do I look pretty?" Of course Grandma's response was in the affirmative.
Over the holidays, as she sat in her Christmas dress, Uncle Billy said to her, "Ceilidh, you're very pretty!" Her response, in a haughty tone, was "Yes, I know!" which elicited all sorts of amused laughter from the adults.
For a brief moment, I wondered about the effect of these compliments on her ego, and then told myself "Who cares?!". I'd rather she have an over-inflated opinion about herself at this young age, because there will be many, many times in the future where her self-esteem and self-image will be tested.
There's a huge movement to boost positive self-images about girls' bodies, and the rising rates of eating disorders are scary. The beauty campaigns by Dove is just one example of the fight to get away from our skin-deep beauty obsessed society. There are so many diet aids, and diet products all aimed at transforming our bodies to some media ideal, which is pretty unrealistic for the majority of the human race. Okay, maybe there's a movement to be healthy too, as being overweight is not great on the heart. But the other day I heard a commercial promoting a cosmetic surgery clinic here in the GTA. The catch line was like "Change the way people look at you and treat you!" There are a couple lines from a male voice stating "Umm, I don't think I can make it", and then another saying "Where and when?", or something to that effect. The message is pretty clear - if you're ugly, or perceive yourself to be ugly, then you won't have a social life. How WRONG is that!!! (Besides, at some point, the "before" pictures will surface. Even if you get rid of any evidence of your life pre-surgery, don't you think he'll get an idea when he meets the rest of the family? Or, what about the when the babies come? Surgery doesn't alter DNA.)
Yes, I worry about my children's self-esteem. I don't want them to ever question their own self-worth. I want them to believe they have the ability to effect change in whatever manner they wish. I want them to believe they are absolutely beautiful in their own, unaltered forms. I want them to be strong-willed, be of solid character and be proud of who they are as individuals. To that effect, we try - as parents - to praise their efforts, no matter how small. We try to encourage without nagging. We try to instruct without taking over. We also try to be examples with our own efforts in life - working hard, reading books, staying fit and healthy, while partaking in all sorts of physical activities with the children.
I remember reading the story of a teen aged girl in Burlington or Oakville who under breast augmentation surgery. Her dad was the one who supported it, believing it would help with her self-esteem problems. Wow, he was so misguided. Where did he think her self-esteem problems came from? What about examining the home and family life? If you think bigger boobs means better body image, then there's a problem with you approach to life, in my humble opinion. What if the boob job doesn't fix the issue? Will she get more plastic surgery, like actress Heidi Montag? What about accepting yourself as you are, and celebrating in the uniqueness that makes you YOU?
Over the holidays, as she sat in her Christmas dress, Uncle Billy said to her, "Ceilidh, you're very pretty!" Her response, in a haughty tone, was "Yes, I know!" which elicited all sorts of amused laughter from the adults.
For a brief moment, I wondered about the effect of these compliments on her ego, and then told myself "Who cares?!". I'd rather she have an over-inflated opinion about herself at this young age, because there will be many, many times in the future where her self-esteem and self-image will be tested.
There's a huge movement to boost positive self-images about girls' bodies, and the rising rates of eating disorders are scary. The beauty campaigns by Dove is just one example of the fight to get away from our skin-deep beauty obsessed society. There are so many diet aids, and diet products all aimed at transforming our bodies to some media ideal, which is pretty unrealistic for the majority of the human race. Okay, maybe there's a movement to be healthy too, as being overweight is not great on the heart. But the other day I heard a commercial promoting a cosmetic surgery clinic here in the GTA. The catch line was like "Change the way people look at you and treat you!" There are a couple lines from a male voice stating "Umm, I don't think I can make it", and then another saying "Where and when?", or something to that effect. The message is pretty clear - if you're ugly, or perceive yourself to be ugly, then you won't have a social life. How WRONG is that!!! (Besides, at some point, the "before" pictures will surface. Even if you get rid of any evidence of your life pre-surgery, don't you think he'll get an idea when he meets the rest of the family? Or, what about the when the babies come? Surgery doesn't alter DNA.)
Yes, I worry about my children's self-esteem. I don't want them to ever question their own self-worth. I want them to believe they have the ability to effect change in whatever manner they wish. I want them to believe they are absolutely beautiful in their own, unaltered forms. I want them to be strong-willed, be of solid character and be proud of who they are as individuals. To that effect, we try - as parents - to praise their efforts, no matter how small. We try to encourage without nagging. We try to instruct without taking over. We also try to be examples with our own efforts in life - working hard, reading books, staying fit and healthy, while partaking in all sorts of physical activities with the children.
I remember reading the story of a teen aged girl in Burlington or Oakville who under breast augmentation surgery. Her dad was the one who supported it, believing it would help with her self-esteem problems. Wow, he was so misguided. Where did he think her self-esteem problems came from? What about examining the home and family life? If you think bigger boobs means better body image, then there's a problem with you approach to life, in my humble opinion. What if the boob job doesn't fix the issue? Will she get more plastic surgery, like actress Heidi Montag? What about accepting yourself as you are, and celebrating in the uniqueness that makes you YOU?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Gender Roles?
Over the holidays, we took the children to some indoor playgrounds. Partly to give the kids an outlet for their energy, and partly to give the grandparents a break from the noise and nuttiness. One of the play places had a little town set up, complete with a grocery store, kitchen/diner, laundromat, doctor's office, school, and workshop. In addition, there was a stage for a puppet show, a couple of climbing apparatuses, various foot powered cars, two Thomas the Train wooden train tables, a soft cushion play area, musical instruments and a stage to showcase their talent. It was a wonderful place to spend several hours. Aisling loved climbing onto the various playsets and sliding down, while Devlin gravitated towards the train sets. Ceilidh made a bee line for the "mini town". What was interesting was observing her modelling adult behaviour, in particular stereotypical gender roles. She pushed a shopping cart around and filled it with "groceries", then spent some time in the toy car, stopping for "gas" at the pump. Then she found a baby doll and carried it around while unloading the groceries. At first, I would think that she was role modelling me. but then I watched as she went into the laundromat and started to "iron" the clothes. Hilarious, because in our household, I do NOT iron. That's Daddy's job.
Then Devlin abandoned the trains for the "workshop". Maybe something he's picked up from watching Wayne work on our deck. Or maybe from watching Bob the Builder since he was adept at putting on the yellow hard hat and the tool belt.
Do children learn to model "adult" behaviours from the parents? Do they learn specific roles from television? Does television bombard our children with stereotypical gender roles? For example, women do the shopping and take care of babies while men carry the big construction tools? The commercials obviously cater to the traditional gender roles. How often do we see a commercial for laundry soap with a male actor (unless he's the one wearing the really dirty clothes), or an ad for beer geared to women? Ever see a baby food or baby formula commercial with a "dad" in the advertisement?
While I was theorizing about the gender roles with Wayne, Devlin and Ceilidh then moved to the kitchen area. What we observed next threw my theories out the window. Ceilidh sat down at the table and ordered, while Devlin rushed around to "serve" her. (As an aside, why is it that Ceilidh is more than happy to pretend eat the vegetables, but won't dream of touching the real thing unless coaxed/ bribed/ threatened?) Again a role reversal from the usual way of life in our household.
Throughout this all, Aisling was happy to climb and hoist herself all over the place. She slid down the big kids' slide and quickly declared her boredom with her age-appropriate play area. She wasn't at all interested in the mini town area, except to grab a baby doll out of its doll sized stroller, and try to get into the stroller herself!
Then Devlin abandoned the trains for the "workshop". Maybe something he's picked up from watching Wayne work on our deck. Or maybe from watching Bob the Builder since he was adept at putting on the yellow hard hat and the tool belt.
Do children learn to model "adult" behaviours from the parents? Do they learn specific roles from television? Does television bombard our children with stereotypical gender roles? For example, women do the shopping and take care of babies while men carry the big construction tools? The commercials obviously cater to the traditional gender roles. How often do we see a commercial for laundry soap with a male actor (unless he's the one wearing the really dirty clothes), or an ad for beer geared to women? Ever see a baby food or baby formula commercial with a "dad" in the advertisement?
While I was theorizing about the gender roles with Wayne, Devlin and Ceilidh then moved to the kitchen area. What we observed next threw my theories out the window. Ceilidh sat down at the table and ordered, while Devlin rushed around to "serve" her. (As an aside, why is it that Ceilidh is more than happy to pretend eat the vegetables, but won't dream of touching the real thing unless coaxed/ bribed/ threatened?) Again a role reversal from the usual way of life in our household.
Throughout this all, Aisling was happy to climb and hoist herself all over the place. She slid down the big kids' slide and quickly declared her boredom with her age-appropriate play area. She wasn't at all interested in the mini town area, except to grab a baby doll out of its doll sized stroller, and try to get into the stroller herself!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Winter Fun
Here's one great reason to have children - you can act like a kid yourself during the winter! Over the weekend, we took all the children tobogganing at the neighbourhood park. It was so much fun. Since there wasn't a lot of snow on the ground, the downhill speed was a bit slower, which meant Aisling wasn't frightened on her first foray into this winter past time. She loved the whole experience, although she was quite chilled by the time we called it quits. Well, the adults called an end to the fun because it was getting quite tiring to climb up the hill while dragging a loaded sled. Devlin and Ceilidh kept begging for one more time.
The older kids also had ice skating lessons on Sunday, which meant one of the adults had to go on the ice with Ceilidh. Since Daddy got the aching back last week, it was Mommy's turn this week. And surprisingly, I didn't end up with a sore back because Ceilidh seems to be getting the hang of it. Not as many tumbles on the ice, and a few moments where she was moving on her own without me holding onto her.
The children are hoping for more snow and more tobogganing next weekend. They're quite disappointed they haven't been able to build a snow man yet. Or have a snowball fight with mommy and daddy. And the best part of the winter activities? It really tires the kids out so they're sound asleep early, which means mommy and daddy finally get to enjoy some quiet time and a bottle of vino.
The older kids also had ice skating lessons on Sunday, which meant one of the adults had to go on the ice with Ceilidh. Since Daddy got the aching back last week, it was Mommy's turn this week. And surprisingly, I didn't end up with a sore back because Ceilidh seems to be getting the hang of it. Not as many tumbles on the ice, and a few moments where she was moving on her own without me holding onto her.
The children are hoping for more snow and more tobogganing next weekend. They're quite disappointed they haven't been able to build a snow man yet. Or have a snowball fight with mommy and daddy. And the best part of the winter activities? It really tires the kids out so they're sound asleep early, which means mommy and daddy finally get to enjoy some quiet time and a bottle of vino.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Mean Mommy?
You know those days when your kid is acting horribly, and you've exhausted your usual repertoire of disciplinary actions, and child is still terrible, and you have to resort to something you've threatened but never actually carried out? While your actions as the parent may have the desired effect (i.e. obedient, tame child), you're left wondering if you're a horribly mean parent for having carried out the punishment, or if you're horribly ineffective as a parent because you had to resort to this measure and because you have a terribly misbehaving child, or if you've bitten more than you can chew because you decided to have children, or if you even deserve to have children at all? Come on, we've all been there! If you haven't, I don't want to talk to you anymore!
So last night, Devlin was acting up. In fact, the misbehavin' started from the moment he woke up in the morning. There's a children's book titled "Alexander's terrible, no good day". Well, we could have written one that was entitled "January 5 - Devlin's terrible, horrible, no good day".
He said he received a time-out at school but was unable to tell me why. Our nanny reported he didn't nap in the afternoon. He was whiny during dinner, although he ate without complaint. He dawdled getting ready for gymnastics. He yelled when asked to get ready a bit more quickly. He ended up on the naughty stool for a time out and screamed the entire time. He even threw himself on the floor. We debated on skipping gymnastics given his behaviour. In hindsight, we should have, but gymnastics tires them out, and the classes aren't all that cheap. So, off we went. His listening skills were horrible, and he ended up missing out on the trampoline because of his misbehaving. He even refused to leave the gym and Daddy had to physically carry him out. Daddy felt he deserved a good spanking or some significant time on the naughty stool - which had already proven to be ineffective earlier.
On the drive home, he was asked what his punishment should be for his actions. He replied, "Take me back to the hospital."
A bit of background - I was once threatened to take him back to the hospital where he was born because I was sure there was a switch-up at the hospital. I told him there was no way I could have given birth to such a misbehaving unruly child. I told him I'd return him, and find my new baby and he could look for his real parents. It's kind of like the threat where my parents told me they'd leave me under the bridge from whence they found me.
Well, I was tired, and fed up with his mouthiness, so I dropped off Ceilidh and Daddy at the house, and drove to the hospital. There was some whimpering from the back row, but no protest. We made it all the way into the parking lot of the emergency room before Devlin begged me to take him home, all the while promising to be a better listener. We had a discussion about his talking back, his attitude, and his tantrums. He even provided some insight into his bad actions - he said he didn't take a nap and he was tired. I drove back home.
So, am I a horribly mean mother who probably broke all the rules of discipline as set out in Supernanny, Nanny 911, Be a Better Parent, Dr. Spock's Child Rearing and Discipline, Raising Happy and Healthy Children? Or am I your average mommy who's tired, over worked, desperate, and sometimes has to resort to creative or wacky methods of discipline. (Same ones that were used on her as a child, and I turned out okay, didn't I?)
So last night, Devlin was acting up. In fact, the misbehavin' started from the moment he woke up in the morning. There's a children's book titled "Alexander's terrible, no good day". Well, we could have written one that was entitled "January 5 - Devlin's terrible, horrible, no good day".
He said he received a time-out at school but was unable to tell me why. Our nanny reported he didn't nap in the afternoon. He was whiny during dinner, although he ate without complaint. He dawdled getting ready for gymnastics. He yelled when asked to get ready a bit more quickly. He ended up on the naughty stool for a time out and screamed the entire time. He even threw himself on the floor. We debated on skipping gymnastics given his behaviour. In hindsight, we should have, but gymnastics tires them out, and the classes aren't all that cheap. So, off we went. His listening skills were horrible, and he ended up missing out on the trampoline because of his misbehaving. He even refused to leave the gym and Daddy had to physically carry him out. Daddy felt he deserved a good spanking or some significant time on the naughty stool - which had already proven to be ineffective earlier.
On the drive home, he was asked what his punishment should be for his actions. He replied, "Take me back to the hospital."
A bit of background - I was once threatened to take him back to the hospital where he was born because I was sure there was a switch-up at the hospital. I told him there was no way I could have given birth to such a misbehaving unruly child. I told him I'd return him, and find my new baby and he could look for his real parents. It's kind of like the threat where my parents told me they'd leave me under the bridge from whence they found me.
Well, I was tired, and fed up with his mouthiness, so I dropped off Ceilidh and Daddy at the house, and drove to the hospital. There was some whimpering from the back row, but no protest. We made it all the way into the parking lot of the emergency room before Devlin begged me to take him home, all the while promising to be a better listener. We had a discussion about his talking back, his attitude, and his tantrums. He even provided some insight into his bad actions - he said he didn't take a nap and he was tired. I drove back home.
So, am I a horribly mean mother who probably broke all the rules of discipline as set out in Supernanny, Nanny 911, Be a Better Parent, Dr. Spock's Child Rearing and Discipline, Raising Happy and Healthy Children? Or am I your average mommy who's tired, over worked, desperate, and sometimes has to resort to creative or wacky methods of discipline. (Same ones that were used on her as a child, and I turned out okay, didn't I?)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Feeling crummy...
It's one of those mornings when you're feeling as crummy as the grey skies outside. Why? Because I'm a mother.
Because I'm a mom to three beautiful children who were upset that Mommy had to leave for work.
Because I was ready to leave on time (for once!) and I impatiently snapped at my teary eyed 3 year old to stop whining when all she wanted was Mommy to stay home with her.
Because I had to lecture my 5 year old about his early morning temper tantrum and his poor attitude while buttoning up my coat. Because I couldn't say "screw work", take off my coat, and roll around on the couch with the kids and tickle them into smiles and giggles.
Because my hugs at the door weren't enough to fix their morning grumpies.
Because the last image I have of my children this morning is their tear-filled eyes (Ceilidh), sulky frown (Devlin) and a tiny hand waving bye-bye (Aisling).
Because I can't concentrate on my tasks here at the office when I'm imprisoned under a cloud of the "working mom guilt".
Because I'm a mom to three beautiful children who were upset that Mommy had to leave for work.
Because I was ready to leave on time (for once!) and I impatiently snapped at my teary eyed 3 year old to stop whining when all she wanted was Mommy to stay home with her.
Because I had to lecture my 5 year old about his early morning temper tantrum and his poor attitude while buttoning up my coat. Because I couldn't say "screw work", take off my coat, and roll around on the couch with the kids and tickle them into smiles and giggles.
Because my hugs at the door weren't enough to fix their morning grumpies.
Because the last image I have of my children this morning is their tear-filled eyes (Ceilidh), sulky frown (Devlin) and a tiny hand waving bye-bye (Aisling).
Because I can't concentrate on my tasks here at the office when I'm imprisoned under a cloud of the "working mom guilt".
Monday, January 4, 2010
Back to Routine
If I was ever worried that the holidays and the relaxed schedule would result in children sleeping late on a Monday morning, I shouldn't have wasted my energies.
I was tired this morning as I dragged myself out of a warm bed and trudged down to the basement to work out. Before I was finished, I was joined by Devlin who wanted to watch. Then Ceilidh. A very short time later, Aisling toddled down the stairs with her bottle while rubbing her eyes sleepily. Not even 7 am yet.
Hopefully all 3 will nap in the early afternoon. Otherwise, we'll have 3 very cranky kids this evening.
I was tired this morning as I dragged myself out of a warm bed and trudged down to the basement to work out. Before I was finished, I was joined by Devlin who wanted to watch. Then Ceilidh. A very short time later, Aisling toddled down the stairs with her bottle while rubbing her eyes sleepily. Not even 7 am yet.
Hopefully all 3 will nap in the early afternoon. Otherwise, we'll have 3 very cranky kids this evening.
Pee-pee twins
Devlin is not night time trained. He sleeps very soundly and does not feel the urge to empty his bladder. We've tried to waking him in the middle of the night to pee, but he refuses, and throws a tantrum about being woken up. His cries, of course, then wake the other two. He will, however, awake when his pull-up leaks. We do make him pee before bedtime at least twice. He usually doesn't have a drink in the last hour before sleep. But he still pees in the middle of the night. We will soon resort to more drastic measure, like taking away the pull up completely. But not yet. When the weather is warmer, and he can do with sleeping with only a light blanket to reduce the amount of laundry that will inevitably result.
Ceilidh, on the other hand, does not wet the bed. It's rare occasion if she pees in the middle of the night. In fact, she doesn't wear pull-ups at night. Even as an infant, she rarely wet her diaper at night, but filled it up within 30 minutes of waking in the morning. So, there was no real nighttime training with her. Her biology just led to nighttime dryness.
Once in a blue moon, she will wet the bed. When she's extremely tired. We had one of those nights when we were visiting the grandparents over the holidays. Ceilidh had stayed up late, watching movies with grandma. She was quite tired when she went to sleep. She also had a lot of milk before falling asleep.
The next day, Uncle Billy asked her what happened. Ceilidh shrugged, and answered, "I don't know. I just peed."
Uncle Billy pointed at her and Devlin and said, "You're definitely brother and sister - both peeing in bed."
Devlin piped up, "Well, we're twins, you know!"
Ceilidh, on the other hand, does not wet the bed. It's rare occasion if she pees in the middle of the night. In fact, she doesn't wear pull-ups at night. Even as an infant, she rarely wet her diaper at night, but filled it up within 30 minutes of waking in the morning. So, there was no real nighttime training with her. Her biology just led to nighttime dryness.
Once in a blue moon, she will wet the bed. When she's extremely tired. We had one of those nights when we were visiting the grandparents over the holidays. Ceilidh had stayed up late, watching movies with grandma. She was quite tired when she went to sleep. She also had a lot of milk before falling asleep.
The next day, Uncle Billy asked her what happened. Ceilidh shrugged, and answered, "I don't know. I just peed."
Uncle Billy pointed at her and Devlin and said, "You're definitely brother and sister - both peeing in bed."
Devlin piped up, "Well, we're twins, you know!"
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