Pretty Girl

Ceilidh's been outgrowing her clothes at a fast pace, so I've gone shopping for more clothing. Also, it took me a bit to get over the fact that both her and Devlin are wearing the same size! So this week she's been wearing all of her new outfits, and oohing and aahing over the "pretty" shirts. She also had her hair trimmed on the weekend. When Grandma arrived earlier this week, the first question out of Ceilidh was, "Grandma, look at my hair and clothes. Do I look pretty?" Of course Grandma's response was in the affirmative.
Over the holidays, as she sat in her Christmas dress, Uncle Billy said to her, "Ceilidh, you're very pretty!" Her response, in a haughty tone, was "Yes, I know!" which elicited all sorts of amused laughter from the adults.
For a brief moment, I wondered about the effect of these compliments on her ego, and then told myself "Who cares?!". I'd rather she have an over-inflated opinion about herself at this young age, because there will be many, many times in the future where her self-esteem and self-image will be tested.
There's a huge movement to boost positive self-images about girls' bodies, and the rising rates of eating disorders are scary. The beauty campaigns by Dove is just one example of the fight to get away from our skin-deep beauty obsessed society. There are so many diet aids, and diet products all aimed at transforming our bodies to some media ideal, which is pretty unrealistic for the majority of the human race. Okay, maybe there's a movement to be healthy too, as being overweight is not great on the heart. But the other day I heard a commercial promoting a cosmetic surgery clinic here in the GTA. The catch line was like "Change the way people look at you and treat you!" There are a couple lines from a male voice stating "Umm, I don't think I can make it", and then another saying "Where and when?", or something to that effect. The message is pretty clear - if you're ugly, or perceive yourself to be ugly, then you won't have a social life. How WRONG is that!!! (Besides, at some point, the "before" pictures will surface. Even if you get rid of any evidence of your life pre-surgery, don't you think he'll get an idea when he meets the rest of the family? Or, what about the when the babies come? Surgery doesn't alter DNA.)
Yes, I worry about my children's self-esteem. I don't want them to ever question their own self-worth. I want them to believe they have the ability to effect change in whatever manner they wish. I want them to believe they are absolutely beautiful in their own, unaltered forms. I want them to be strong-willed, be of solid character and be proud of who they are as individuals. To that effect, we try - as parents - to praise their efforts, no matter how small. We try to encourage without nagging. We try to instruct without taking over. We also try to be examples with our own efforts in life - working hard, reading books, staying fit and healthy, while partaking in all sorts of physical activities with the children.
I remember reading the story of a teen aged girl in Burlington or Oakville who under breast augmentation surgery. Her dad was the one who supported it, believing it would help with her self-esteem problems. Wow, he was so misguided. Where did he think her self-esteem problems came from? What about examining the home and family life? If you think bigger boobs means better body image, then there's a problem with you approach to life, in my humble opinion. What if the boob job doesn't fix the issue? Will she get more plastic surgery, like actress Heidi Montag? What about accepting yourself as you are, and celebrating in the uniqueness that makes you YOU?