Last week, I attended a three-day conference that necessitated in my being absent from the family home for two nights. I'll admit, I had been looking forward to this work obligation since it would mean two nights of child-free sleep, and at least one night of dining out without having to cut up food for a youngster. But as the date approached, I began to have the usual worries and stresses - all unfounded - of how the kids would cope without mommy. Or more importantly, how daddy would survive. So, I hustled and bustled the night before my conference, ensuring the fridge was stocked, laundry had been done, and all important meetings were scheduled and printed in large red ink in the calendar. I ended up sleeping with all three kids so I could maximize the cuddles (for my sake) and read many, many bedtime stories that night.
The next morning, I took Devlin to school. We rode our bikes. Upon reaching the school grounds, he quickly put his bike away and ran off to the kindergarten area. "Wait!" I called. "Aren't you going to kiss mommy bye? I won't see you until Friday afternoon!"
He trudged back, reluctantly, and presented his cheek for a quick peck. He squirmed away as I tried to give him a hug. I waved, and he instructed me to leave. "It's okay Mom. You can go now," he said before turning his back on me to partake in an animated conversation with a class mate.
Wow! Really? This is the child who used to cling to my knees, sobbing and crying for me not to leave him when he started junior kindergarten a mere 18 months earlier? This is the child who needed me to physically walk him into the classroom for 3 months? Who forbade me to leave the gate area until he was in the building?
My, how much he's grown!
The girls were more enthusiastic in their farewells although I'm quite sure they didn't understand I wouldn't be home that night, or the next.
And so, I left. I headed off to the conference. There was much learning involved. Also a spa session. A dinner our with other "mom colleagues" who were enjoying a respite from the children. Some wine. Some more late night chats before retiring to our beds for the much anticipated child-free sleep. Alas, the sleep was not the relaxing, nor rejuvenating, session I had imagined. Instead, I tossed and turned because the mattress was so hard with unexplained springs poking me here and there. I was afraid to turn over in case I fell off the single mattress. And yes, I missed my babies snuggling against me, snoring softly. Although it was nice to shower without having to worry about someone little person walking in, yanking aside the shower curtain and asking when you were going to be finished.
The phone calls home were filled with lots "I miss you's" and "when are you coming home?". Or I think that's what I heard. It was difficult to hear with the overwhelming cacophony of chaos (read crying and screaming) in the background. Nonetheless, I missed the craziness of my zoo.
During my drive home, I had mixed feelings about returning. I was already stressed by the pile of laundry that I was sure to greet me when I came in the door, but I was looking forward to sweeping my children into a big bear hug. I envisioned an idealistic homecoming whereupon I would be greeted with open arms by all three children. Devlin was the first to see me. He hugged me with his dusty and dirty arms and presented me with a bucket of maple keys as my "welcome home present". Ceilidh grabbed me in a bone-crushing squeeze and said "I missed you a hundred times" which was nice to hear. Aisling? My baby, who I thought would have missed me the most? She by-passed my open arms and went to investigate the bag of gifts instead.
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