My three children have many similarities, but they are also very much their own individual selves. Ceilidh is generally the pleaser, while Devlin expects the world to revolve around him. Aisling is very independent who wants to do things her way.
Even their temper tantrums are marked by their different personalities.
When he doesn't get his way, or he's caught being naughty, Devlin will start to shout and cry. The tears will well up almost instantaneously and he drops onto the ground and sit with his arms folded. He will turn away from you and refuse to calm down. When he was a toddler, he would pull on his ears as he cried. Perhaps that's why he has such large ears?
There are two ways to deal with Devlin's behavioural breakdown. If his misbehaving has led to his crying session, he's led to the the time-out seat (a.k.a. naughty stool) to sob away and remain until he's ready to apologize and behave. If his tantrum is for some unknown reason, or he feels that life is unfair to him, (and I have the energy) I will attempt to soothe his tears, cuddle him and have him explain why he's acting in that manner.
Ceilidh always tries to get her way by asking, begging, pleading her case. She uses the word "please" a lot, and smiles. In fact, she's a cross between Puss in Boots from Shrek (with the big pleading eyes that draw you in) and my sister Shunaha who also used this tactic often. When she's not successful, her lower lip will jut out and she will start whining. When it's obvious her parents are not sympathetic to her cause, Ceilidh will start stamping her feet, growling and with fists clenched, break out into tears. If Devlin is the target of her misery, she will lunge at him and start pinching or attempt to grab him about the neck and take him down. Ceilidh also doesn't like it when we employ the "counting to 5" technique. She starts yelling "don't count!" but still refuses to comply with what was requested.
The naughty stool is not effective with her, as she simply jumps off. We have 2 levels of naughty stools - the kitchen and, the laundry room for serious offences. Once she was banished to the laundry room for her time out. A few minutes later, having calmed herself down, she started to play with her toys, before receiving permission to leave or even apologizing. I generally wait until she's done her crying session before trying to reason with her.
Now Aisling - well that's another story. Little Miss. Independent wants things done her way. She's very specific. If she wants Daddy to change her diaper, it has to be Daddy. If she wants Mommy to fetch her bottle of milk, it has to be me. If she wants to wear a certain shirt that she's picked out, there's no convincing her that lime green will clash with hot pink. What happens when she doesn't get her way? The battle royale of wills - Aisling vs. mom and dad. If she's not pleased, she starts to cry, which escalates to screaming, all the while she's taking off her clothes. If you attempt to stop her from taking off the shirt or pants, she becomes even more enraged. Yep, Aisling strips down completely, including her diaper. She manages to pull off the diaper and fling it across the room. If you hand her a soother or bottle of milk in a lame attempt at soothing her troubled soul, she'll take it and hurl it back at you. Once completely naked, she will cry and sob until she is spent. Only then, will she come to you, hiccuping from all the crying, and say "sorry" while stroking your face. Once you acknowledge her apology, she will comply with your requests to get dressed and diapered. Once in a while, her bladder will release in the midst of a tantrum. Generally, then, she'll cut her tantrum short, and become very quiet. She will only apologize once the pee has been mopped up and the floor washed. At this point in time, there's no point in trying to divert the tantrum with Aisling. It just gets her worked up even more. So, we watch the strip show and wait for her "sorry". Lecturing to a two year old is just not effective at this stage.
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